Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
EVERLY
Any preconceived notions I may have had that driving down long, winding dirt roads with a super-hot guy in a backward hat would be the epitome of a romantic experience are now gone.
It’s been almost an hour of the slowest, joltiest, bumpiest car ride of my life.
We used to joke back in the city about how the potholes could swallow your car whole, but none of us had been on some of these backroads.
I’m one hundred percent sure that my ass will be permanently bruised after this trip.
“So, you willingly— bump —ride around— bump —these roads for— bump —fun?” I clutch the grab handle above the window to try to keep myself in my seat.
Hux laughs, and for a second, I forget about the serious pain radiating from my butt. Seeing him relaxed is a sight I never thought I’d see. We seem to have brought out a calmness in each other that I don’t think either of us ever expected.
“You get used to it. Plus, if this fishing spot were easy to get to, the tourists would ruin it.”
“Do you ever get nervous out here? There’s just so many… tr ees.” I look up at the green canopy above my head. The light filters through the branches like a ceiling of stained glass, rays of yellow filling the cracks.
“Out here? Nah, never. I was raised in these woods and taught to fear the cities, not nature.”
“And yet you didn’t listen?”
“I love the woods. There is nothing more peaceful for me than being out here. That’s something I could always agree with Storm on.
But I also knew I wanted an education. I wanted to experience people from all walks of life.
I wanted to move with them, not just serve them drinks on their vacations to be left behind.
The resort always felt like I was peeking through the keyhole at the world, not living in it. I’m not sure if that makes sense.”
“It does. Growing up in the suburbs of Boston, I had people around me constantly. My mom and dad lived in the city until they got married. When my grandmother passed away, she left them her house. They knew they wanted to start a family and knew they couldn’t turn down the house they would never have been able to afford otherwise.
“My mom missed living right in the city though.
She loved everything about it. She would take my brother and me to Boston Common when we were young to laze around, play frisbee, and people-watch.
She always took the T, even when my dad insisted she take a cab.
We would walk around the Harvard campus for hours while she told us stories about going there.
“Like you, she wanted to be part of it all, and she wanted us to experience it too. When she got sick, we went to the city, but instead of visiting our favorite museums, we visited her in the hospital. She would joke that at least she had a nice view of the Charles River.” The truck slows, and Hux stares at me, watching every emotion as I speak.
He only glances at the road ahead when he needs to.
I imagine he could drive it with his eyes closed anyway.
“Did she ever get to leave the hospital?”
I smile. “She did… we took her home to say goodbye, and when we left the city for the last time, we drove past all the highlights. She was too weak to get out and walk around them, but we made sure she got to see them. She was happy.”
I look out toward the forest and clamp my eyes shut. I take a deep breath and inhale the earthy, moist scent of the woods.
“After she was gone, I feel like I kind of just put my head down and focused on school and work. I had always been a good student, but after that year, I let school consume me. Alex was the only one who sometimes could break through.
“It was like my anxiety got so out of control that the only way I could keep it at bay was if I didn’t come up for air.”
I meet his eyes, and a small smirk dances across his lips. He nods in understanding as he cranks the wheel hard to the left.
“We’re here.” He throws the truck in park, and I appreciate him knowing I am ready for a break from the hard stuff.
I look out the windshield at a beautiful river in front of us. Small rapids twist and turn around the large rocks sticking out of the water’s surface. The water is sapphire blue under the cloudless sky, and no one is in sight.
We walk out on the rocky riverbed, and like all the places Hux has shown me this summer, I find myself without words. The serenity is unlike anything I have experienced, and though this river feels magical, I know Hux standing beside me has much to do with it too.
“Come on, my favorite spot is just around this bend.”
I follow behind him, watching the plaid flannel he threw over his Anderson’s T-shirt blowing in the breeze. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. He has a cooler with our lunch in one hand and two fishing rods in the other.
“See this calmer pool of water here? It’s deep and cold with a good undercurrent. My dad used to bring Storm and me here when we were young and still getting the hang of fishing.”
“The picture in the lodge? Of you and your brother holding fish out front of the lodge, was that from this spot?”
“Well, aren’t you observant, it was. First fish I had ever caught. I was so stoked.” My heart warms at the fact he is sharing such a personal place with me.
“Well, I clearly wasn’t that observant because about thirty seconds later, I ran into this tree of a man carrying a crate of wine. He was quite the a-hole. Acted like he owned the place.”
Hux puts down our supplies and swiftly scampers across a few rocks until he’s standing in front of me. He drags the back of his knuckles down the side of my face, tucking some loose hair from my ponytail behind my ear.
“Really now? Tell me, what did this tree of a man look like? I’ll need to speak with him.”
“Oh, you know, one of those backward hat-wearing, super sexy dudes, but too cocky for me.”
“Is that right? Hmm…” Before I can make another snarky remark, Hux attacks me with tickles.
Just as my knees are about to give out, he picks me up and holds me above him for a moment before sliding my body down his until our lips meet.
The kiss is slow and deep, peaceful. I feel his smile against my own just as we break away.
I am so blissfully happy, my body feels like a million live sparking wires when I am near him. I’m alive, and for the first time in my life, I am living in the present. But I can feel it, it’s there, that anxiety knocking on the door. This isn’t real, Everly. You need to think about this.
In the next few weeks, you’re leaving and going back to the city, and you should be thinking about your classes and the internships you need to apply for. This is a fairy tale that isn’t meant to last.
The internal dialogue that just assaulted my mind knocks the wind out of me. My palms start to sweat, and I can no longer hear the roaring river beside us, only the rush of static fills my ears.
A panic attack.
Since getting to Silsby, I’ve had moments where I felt them coming but amazingly kept them at bay.
Even though anxiety has been a daily battle since losing my mom, I do pretty well under pressure.
I give a lot of credit to Alex, a human security blanket, for the reason why I haven’t had one here in Silsby.
But the real reason hits me now. For the first time in my life, I stepped away from all the responsibility, all the bad experiences, all the stress, and came to a new place, a place where people do things differently.
And I met this guy, a guy who makes my whole being light up, gives me butterflies, and makes the whole world spin, but unlike with Austin, I don’t feel insecure around Hux.
I’m not holding my breath when another girl stops to talk to him.
Even when I wasn’t sure about the status between him and Ashlee, and when I wanted to believe that he was just another cocky guy looking for a one-time thing, my heart was telling me he was different.
Now, I’m going to have to walk away from all of that.
Time is going to pop this bubble before I know it, and I’m not ready.
I crouch to the ground, trying to focus on my breathing, tears running down my face as small whimpers escape between gasps for air.
“Hey, hey are you okay? What’s wrong?” Hux’s hand is on my back, and his eyes are filled with concern as he checks me all over.
My eyes are closed, and I shake my head. “I… It’s…” I pause, taking a few more deep breaths, before looking at him with my puff y, tear-soaked eyes. “The summer… it’s almost over.” My words are barely an audible whisper.
Hux brings my ball of a body into his chest as if he is shielding me from some physical danger. He presses his mouth into my hair.
“I know… I know.”
We sat on the shore for a long time while my panic attack dissipated. We devoured our lunches. Panic attacks always leave me drained, so I welcomed the food and can of soda, giving me a bit of a boost.
Eventually, Hux made some smart-ass comment about bringing me out here to teach me how to fly fish, not to sit on the riverbank and cry.
The joke was what I needed. The last few days have been so heavy with us, and I wanted today to be fun.
I was thankful for his ability to switch the mood back to our snarky banter.
After about an hour of lessons and more smart-ass comments about me not being a natural fisherman, I finally started to catch on.
Fly fishing is surprisingly relaxing, almost meditative. The repetitive nature of casting and keeping my eyes on the river makes it hard to think about anything else, and with every movement, I feel my body and mind settle a bit more.
“I think I’m getting the hang of it!” I yell to Hux, who is downstream from me. I cast my fly rod forward and back in a continuous motion, as Hux showed me earlier.