Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
EVERLY
I’m sitting on the glassed-in front porch of Mr. Croft’s house.
I love this three-season deck and am sad I didn’t spend as much time on it this summer as I would have liked.
I finished my last shift at Anderson’s about an hour ago, which felt bittersweet, considering how my first shift went.
In just a few days, Alex and I are driving back to Boston, and then she’ll be headed on to California.
In some ways, it feels like this summer just began; in other ways, it feels like my old life never existed. Sitting here, I’ve been reading and rereading the same paragraph of my book over and over, my mind replaying the last three months and, more specifically, the last two days.
Since Hux left me crying at that party, I have run the gamut of emotions.
I’ve been devastated, furious, guilty, and floating somewhere between heartbroken and numb.
There is even a bit of relief mixed in there—relief that I didn’t have to be the one to leave first, but, in the end, that makes me feel like a coward, which starts the whole guilt cycle over again.
I should have tried harder, and I should have blurted out my feelings long before Hannah and Josh came to town.
All those emotions don’t seem to matter much anymore though, because for the last twelve hours, the only emotion I have felt is fear.
I was finishing my shift yesterday when Elle came looking for me in the supply room.
I was folding towels still warm from the dryer when she asked if I had heard about Hux.
The panic that flashed across my face must have told her I had not and was in the dark.
I’d assumed he was actively avoiding me, making himself scarce until he knew I had punched out on Anderson’s time clock for the last time.
I had been trying to keep to myself, but I knew Mr. Anderson still wasn’t back, and I had seen Hux’s mom busying herself around the resort. I thought it was best if I just kept my distance from the family and got my work done.
Elle informed me that the morning after Tyler’s party, Hux went out on his own looking for his dad. He was supposed to keep in contact with his mom, but I’m guessing the weather and remote conditions may have messed with the cell service. No one had heard from either of them yet.
Elle texted Alex and me last night to let us know that Hux’s mom notified the warden service.
This morning, a team of them were heading out to comb the woods.
There had been talk of bringing in helicopters, one of the fastest ways to look for missing people in this part of the state, but the weather and strong winds kept the searchers on the ground for now.
“Look at that stack of books, no wonder your suitcase was so heavy.” Alex hands me a fresh cup of coffee and sits cross-legged in the wicker chair beside me.
“Can you believe it? This is the book I started the week we got here. Look, I’m not even halfway through.” I place the bookmark back on the same page where I opened the book an hour ago and plop it down on the coffee table in front of us.
“You were out having fun, working, falling in love. You were living, Evie Baby. That’s not a bad thing.
” She smiles over the brim of her steaming cup.
The rain has barely let up since that horrible night.
Knowing that Hux and his dad are still out somewhere in it, this place has quickly gone from an idyllic beach read to a Stephen King nightmare.
“Doesn’t feel so great right now.” I blow out a slow breath and lean my head back against the chair. “Has there been any word?”
“Not yet, but they will find them.” She squeezes my hand. “If I know of two men capable enough to survive in the woods in this weather, it’s the Andersons.”
“You must be so worried about your dad. I’m sorry, I haven’t even checked on how you’re feeling.
” When Mr. Croft heard his best friend hadn’t returned home, and now Hux seemed to be missing, he had been one of the first to rally the search teams. He didn’t even wait for sunrise and headed out last night.
“Did I say two capable men? I meant three, plus my dad’s with a group of people who are all trained to do this kind of thing.”
“But with us leaving soon, this was the last bit of time you had with him. I’m sorry, I feel like I have really messed things up this summer.”
“Everly, this isn’t your fault. Mr. Anderson has been going out on these missions for the last two years. He knows the risks of going out into the woods alone.”
“I know, but if Hux and I hadn’t fought, maybe he would have thought this plan through and not made the same stupid decision to go looking for his dad alone in one of the biggest storms in years.”
“Everly, it’s not your fault. Listen to me.” She turns her body, no longer looking out at the lake but instead directly at me. “They are going to find them, I promise.”
“I need to know he is okay, Alex. It might not change the outcome for us, but I need to hear he’s okay.” A stray tear slips down my cheek. I quickly brush it away with the sleeve of my sweatshirt.
“He will be, and you don’t know that.”
“He told me it’s over, that his feelings weren’t real.”
“Everly, you’re a smart girl. Don’t even begin to tell me you believed any of that crap he spewed.”
“What would be stupid is if I didn’t listen to the words someone says loud and clear. You saw his face. He was completely disgusted.”
“I saw a big old tree of a man who was angry and scared, that’s all I saw. You are everything he’s wanted, including the fact that you are living a life away from here. He wants to be with you, here and there, and he knows he can’t right now. He’s just too proud to admit it.”
“I would have done long distance. I would have done anything to keep us together,” I plead as if Alex needs convincing.
“I know, but he doesn’t want to be the reason you sacrifice your freedom. He wants you to be a sophomore in college like all the other nineteen-year-olds. It’s something that got ripped away from him, and he doesn’t want to do the same thing to you.”
“What am I supposed to do? We are scheduled to leave in two days. And if they aren’t back by then and we stay, once he returns, it’s not like it will matter.”
“Well, first, we sit here and wait to hear they’re back, and while we do that, I’m going to read one of these hundreds of romance books that you dragged to the Maine woods out loud to you.” She smiles, contemplating the various titles before selecting a book from the stack.
“I’m so happy you came back East this summer, Al.” I hadn’t realized how badly I needed this time with my best friend.
“Hey, it’s always you and me, forever, you know that.
To be honest, I couldn’t have done this trip without you.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it, there was a lot of buried baggage with my dad.
You being here allowed for some normalcy to the whole situation.
” Alex and I rarely get mushy, but after such an emotional week, it feels like it has to be spoken out loud.
“I’m glad I could be here. It’s been amazing watching you two get back some of what you had.”
“As for us against the world forever… just keep in mind, I am a month older than you, which means I’ll probably die first, so you’ll have to make it without me at least for a little while.” I stick out my tongue at her as she swats me with the book.
“Shut up, and let me read you this book about aliens falling in love or whatever this is you’ve brought.” She studies the cover a little closer, and I laugh and snuggle deeper into my chair, listening to Alex read as the storm rages outside.
After about ten chapters, and a short porch nap, Alex and I decide to go to the bar at Anderson’s. The house, hell, the whole town, feels too quiet, and we are definitely in need of a distraction.
We had planned to have a big dinner at the house with Mr. Croft, but seeing that Silsby has turned into a ghost town, we head to the lodge to keep Elle company.
We tell ourselves that fried food and endless sodas will cure the uneasy feeling sitting in our bellies, but I can’t help feeling emotional that my time at this place is so limited.
I’ll miss the smell that invades my senses every time I walk in: a mix of musk, wood polish, and leather.
I’ll miss people-watching and interacting with everyone, from the retirees to the young families on vacation.
As much as I hate to admit it, I’ll miss the obscene number of taxidermied animal heads that stared me down every time I sat at this bar.
Alex slides onto her regular stool, and I place my bag on mine.
“I’ll be right back. I just have a little parting gift for Rhonda,” I say, pulling a bottle of Jim Beam and a silver flask with the word ‘Boss’ engraved across the front out of my bag. I head back to her office.
I saw Rhonda this morning and could have given the gift to her then and made a show of it, but over the last few months, Rhonda and I found an understanding.
She is a woman of few words, but her love for this place was never questioned.
The Andersons are like family to her, and I love her for that.
She is not one to show emotion openly, and I can’t think of much she would hate more than a big, gushy goodbye.