Chapter Four #3
She realized that while Jim had talked a lot about his business, he hadn’t told her anything personal. In fact, he rarely talked about himself. She knew only the barest details. What about the man inside? About what he felt and thought and dreamed?
She did know that he adored her daughter and seemed to like her. She also knew that he could make her heart beat a little faster every time he walked into a room. But little else. He always brought the conversation back to her and Diane.
She reminded herself that they were friends and that he didn’t owe her anything. Maybe he needed more time to get comfortable. Maybe—
“Heather, I have something I want to talk to you about.”
He sounded so serious that her stomach knotted into a ball.
A thousand thoughts raced through her brain.
He’d gotten tired of visiting her. He’d figured out that having him around was the closest thing she’d had to a hot flash her entire life and he didn’t appreciate her staring at his well-formed, incredibly tempting rear end.
He thought she was raising her daughter all wrong and he—
“Stop it,” he commanded. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but forget it. Nothing I’m going to say is worth that panicked expression in your eyes.”
“I’m not panicked,” she lied as she came face-to-face with the uncomfortable realization that during the past month Jim had become an important part of her life.
He was her most steady visitor and she depended on him.
If Jim were suddenly gone, she would miss him terribly—perhaps even more than she’d ever missed Luke.
“I’ve been talking to my accountant about using your bookkeeping service,” he began. “However, because of the way the books are set up and the computer program I use, there’s no way for you to do them at home. They have to be done at the office.”
She stared at him. His books? This was about his books?
Disappointment flared through her. Then she told herself to snap out of it.
First she’d been terrified he was about to say he didn’t want to be friends anymore.
Now she was disappointed that he wanted to talk business?
Obviously, she was still wrestling with some heavy-duty hormones from her pregnancy. She had to get a grip.
“So what I’d like to do,” he continued, “is offer you a part-time job working for my company. I’ll have my accountant show you the work and you pick your own hours.
” He leaned toward her. “I’m not asking just because we’re friends.
I’m asking because I know you’ll do a good job for me.
I meant what I said about picking your own hours.
Whatever works best with your schedule and Diane’s. ”
She was stunned. “I don’t know what to say.” He was offering her a job? With Jim, she frequently found herself in the position of not knowing whether to slap him or hug him, and here she was again.
“You can bring her in with you,” he said before she could decide on a course of action. “There’s a small storeroom off the main office that would make a perfect temporary nursery. Flo, the woman who manages the office, loves kids. She would be thrilled to have Diane around.”
“I’ll bet,” Heather muttered. She was too confused to be having this conversation. Things were moving too fast. Although, knowing Jim, this conversation wasn’t completely unexpected. “You’re still trying to rescue me,” she said. “I don’t need rescuing. I’m perfectly capable—”
“Of taking care of yourself,” Jim finished for her. “I know. All I’m saying is I need someone in my office. You need a part-time job. I don’t care when you work and you need flexible hours. Besides, I’ll be able to see my best girl more often.”
For a split second, she thought he meant her. Then reality returned to her brain and she knew he was talking about Diane. I will not be jealous of my own child, she told herself firmly.
“So what’s the problem?” Jim asked.
You are, she thought to herself, but couldn’t say that aloud.
He wouldn’t understand. She knew that Jim was not for her.
Even if he was, she wasn’t interested in anything like that.
So why was she tempted to accept his offer?
It was crazy. She didn’t want another man in her life, in any form.
Their friendship was already straining the promise she’d made to herself not to get involved.
She knew all the risks and pitfalls of a relationship with a man.
She’d lived through every possible variation on that theme, with the possible exception of accidentally dating a man who was gay.
Except Jim wasn’t talking about dating. He was talking about work. Was that safe? Could she stay friends with him and not get hurt? Was working for him crossing the line in some way?
She drew in a deep breath. The problem was that she was getting more and more involved.
She needed him too much. This was the perfect time to tell him that their friendship was becoming too intense and that she wasn’t comfortable.
Working for him would only make things more difficult and complicated. She had to tell him no.