Chapter Six #3
“Sort of,” she agreed. “But he wasn’t ready to grow up.
So while I worked two jobs to support us, Peter partied with his friends and dreamed about playing football for the local community college.
He didn’t want to take classes. He just wanted to play ball.
” She drew in a deep breath as if preparing herself for what happened next.
“One day, when we’d been married for about three years, I came home early from work and found Peter in bed with a high school cheerleader. I packed my bags and vowed that I would learn from the experience.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thanks, but as I said, it was a long time ago and I’m fine with it. I’m not bitter about Peter. He was too young to make a marriage work. I probably was, too.”
“At least you wanted to try.”
“Trying wasn’t enough. Maybe I wanted too much. Maybe all I could see was that someone other than my mother finally loved me. Or so it seemed.”
“You’d been lonely,” he said.
“A little. Maybe more than a little.”
He’d been lonely, too, he thought. He knew what it was like to fall in love in high school, to be willing to give up anything for that love, then have the gift thrown back in his face.
“So I’ve learned my lesson about love,” she said.
“What’s the lesson?”
“I don’t go there anymore. While love seems to work out for other people, it’s not in the cards for me.”
“You’re being a little hasty making that decision after one failure.”
She shook her head. “You’re forgetting the ever gracious Luke, who abandoned both me and his child.”
“You’re right.” He clenched his hands into fists. “Okay, two lessons.”
She held up three fingers. “Three lessons. In between Peter and Luke, I fell for another guy. Once again, I was working two jobs, and I met a great guy who seemed to be everything Peter hadn’t been—mature, motivated, a hard worker.”
“He sounds perfect,” Jim grumbled.
“Yes, he does. After two years of dating, he still couldn’t bring himself to commit to anything permanent. We were stuck in the dating mode. So I gave him an ultimatum. Propose or it’s over.”
“What happened?” he asked although he already knew.
“He left. Six week later, I heard that he’d met a woman and moved in with her.
Three months after that, they were married.
Apparently, his problem wasn’t with commitment, but with me.
Which was why Luke seemed so perfect. All he talked about was getting married.
Of course, he already had a wife, but I didn’t know that. ”
Jim wanted to pull Heather close until all the hurt was gone.
But he didn’t…for two reasons. First, she wouldn’t understand what he was doing and might think he was coming on to her.
Second, the hurt was gone. Despite the setbacks in her life, she’d managed to heal herself.
She had a strength and self-reliance that he admired.
“What happens now?” he asked.
She shrugged. “Now I’m grateful I have a wonderful daughter to raise. My goal will be to follow in my mother’s footsteps.”
“You’re too young and have too much to offer to stay single for long. You deserve more,” Jim said.
If he didn’t let himself think about the possibility of Heather with another man, he could actually believe what he was saying.
“I could say that you deserve more, too,” she told him. “But if the rumors are to be believed, you live like a monk.”
“That’s a slight exaggeration. I have female friends, but I prefer to keep things light.
I’m not looking for emotional commitment.
” He’d explained his position enough times that he could say the words easily, without even having to think about why he’d chosen to do without what most men considered a given—a wife and a family.
“To throw your own words back in your face,” she said, “you’re too young and you have too much to offer for you to stay single for long.”
“It’s worked so far.”
Her gaze settled on his face. “I’m guessing that there are several broken hearts littering the ground. So I can’t help wondering why you’re avoiding any serious romantic entanglement. I mean, it makes sense for me. Three strikes and all that. But what’s your excuse?”
“I don’t want anyone getting hurt.”
“That sounds like a lonely way to live.”
“You’re not in a position to cast stones, Heather,” he said gently. “You’re lonely, too.”
She nodded. “You’re right. We’re in the same position, which is probably why we get along so well.” She stood up and grinned at him. “All right. Enough of this philosophizing. I’m collecting my daughter and heading home. You want to join us for dinner?”
“I can’t, but thanks for asking.”
“Sure.”
She moved into the hallway, then disappeared into Diane’s room.
Jim watched her go, taking in the long navy skirt that outlined her slender hips and the way those hips swayed with every step.
His need for her was growing. He would have sold his soul to join Heather for dinner tonight, but he couldn’t.
Because he would be taking a chance. The first week of their acquaintance, he’d decided to only be around her when he was feeling strong and could resist doing all those things he wanted.
In time, he would teach himself to be happy and content with the crumbs available to him.
But not yet. And until he was accepting of just her friendship, he would do whatever he had to to keep them both safe from potential disaster.