Chapter Ten #3
He set the bottle of beer on the coffee table. “I want you to know that I really appreciate the way you let me be a part of your life. I enjoy visiting and spending time with both of you.”
Soft warm fuzzies fluttered inside Heather’s stomach.
She wasn’t sure what Jim was trying to say, but she liked it.
Was he going to admit to having feelings for her?
Feelings that went beyond friendship? She clenched her hands together in anticipation.
Did he want to kiss her again, or maybe do something more intimate?
Oddly enough, the thought didn’t terrify her, which made the whole thing incredibly confusing.
Just this morning at the doctor’s office, she’d lectured herself on the importance of maintaining their friendship.
Was she willing to risk that if he wanted to?
“But I’m a little concerned about taking up too much of your time,” he continued.
“Huh?” Wait a minute. That line of dialogue was not part of her fantasy.
“I don’t want to get in the way of your having a life. I’m here several times a week. That doesn’t leave you much opportunity for socializing.”
Heather sighed once and released the very short-lived dream that he was changing the terms of their relationship. She was surprised to find herself battling disappointment. How strange.
“Jim, you are my social life.”
“I know, and I think you should change that. You need to be dating.”
My oh my, the man was obviously incredibly hot for her body.
He couldn’t wait to see her going out with other men.
Damn. Heather leaned back against the sofa and told herself this was all for the best. She could get by without a lover, but friends were essential.
Even as she told herself to be sensible, she couldn’t help feeling sad that they weren’t going to kiss again.
“What about you?” she said. “At least I’ve tried to make a relationship work in the past. You’ve never been married.” She turned to look at him. “Why is that? You’re perfect husband and father material.”
“No way. I’m good at fixing things, but bad with people. I don’t do the emotional stuff well.”
“Way! You’re terrific with people. Look at Rick. His entire family wants to sponsor a shrine in your honor. There’s Flo and Brian and practically every other employee at the company. Jeez, Brian is like a little puppy following you around, wanting to be just like you.”
“That’s a mistake,” he grumbled. “I’ll admit I like helping people out in their lives, but only with logistical things like jobs or finding an apartment. I don’t know how to connect emotionally.”
“We’re friends. You adore my daughter.”
He smiled. A warm, slow smile that made her thighs quiver. “That I do.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“I’m not what you think.”
Heather sat up and glared at him. “That argument is getting really old. The bottom line is you better get ready for a real relationship because one day you’re bound to fall in love and have some kids of your own.
Don’t even try to tell me differently because you have daddy written all over you.
I know you want that, so why are you resisting so hard? ”
He didn’t look at her, but he didn’t have to for her to realize that she’d trodden on dangerous territory. There were other clues. The tension in his body, the tight muscle in his jaw, the steely set of his gaze.
Heather wondered if she should call it all back. Did she really want to know any more of Jim’s secrets?
“I wanted that once,” he said before she could decide. “I’ve been in love. In high school. My senior year. Carrie was smart and pretty and I was head over heels for her. Then one day she turned up pregnant.”
Heather’s breath caught in her throat. Her first instinct had been to be jealous of this Carrie person, but now she could only focus on the fact that Jim had a child. “What happened?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I had a football scholarship out of state, but I told her I would give it all up to be with her. I wanted to make it right. I wanted us to get married.” He glanced at her. “Pretty stupid, huh?”
“No. Pretty wonderful.” That was so like him, she thought. Her first husband hadn’t lifted a hand to do anything to support them, and Luke had walked out on her. But Jim wasn’t like that. He would be willing to go the distance.
“I went out and found a job and we looked for an apartment. We couldn’t afford much, of course, but I knew everything would be okay. Then one day she didn’t come to school. When I called her house, her mom told me she had the flu.”
His voice was flat and emotionless. Heather stiffened in anticipation of something horrible. She sent up a prayer that she was wrong, that someone else hadn’t destroyed Jim the way his mother and father had. After all he’d been through, he didn’t deserve that. But her prayers were years too late.
“Two days later, she came to see me. She told me she thought we were too young to get married. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to marry me, but she was sure she didn’t want a child. My child. She’d gone off and had an abortion without even telling me.”