Chapter Twelve
Heather tilted her head back to let the hot water rinse her hair.
It was just exhaustion, perhaps physical, mental or both.
It was the phase of the moon. It was the fact that no man had the right to look so incredible in a pair of jeans.
It was…insane, she decided at last, turning under the spray.
She absolutely, positively, could not start something with Jim.
They were too different. They wanted different things.
She paused and stared blankly at the white tiles in front of her.
Actually, she wasn’t sure what either of them wanted, but if she did know, they would be different.
Besides, they both did want one thing, and that was not to get involved.
No relationship, no romantic entanglement, no man-woman thing messing up a perfectly good life.
So why was she standing here in her shower thinking about doing the wild thing with the man sitting in her living room?
She turned off the water and slid open the glass door.
After grabbing her towel, she started drying herself.
It was fine to want him, she told herself.
Wanting was acceptable. Everyone had an imagination.
The fact that hers had been working overtime lately was interesting news but not life changing.
She could fantasize and daydream and wish as long as she didn’t do anything about it.
She and Jim couldn’t become lovers. For one thing, she didn’t know if he was interested, although based on their kiss, she thought he might be.
For another, they already had a nearly perfect relationship and why would she want to risk ruining that?
And there was her three-strikes rule—she should know better than to get involved.
He would be way too easy for her to fall for.
Although if it was simply about physical intimacy and not about falling in love, then—
“Stop it,” Heather said aloud. She toweled her hair, then wrapped the thick cotton around her body, tucked in the corner to keep it in place and moved to the mirror.
“I’m not going to do anything about this.
I’ll get dressed, go out there and have a normal conversation with him.
Just the way I have a thousand times before.
Nothing is different. We can’t do this.”
As she stared at her reflection, she saw the wanting in her eyes.
She did want him, and in her tired, vulnerable state, it would be difficult to keep that knowledge to herself.
The truth was she wanted Jim in her bed.
Their kiss had been incredible and she wanted to feel that passion again.
She’d had three lovers in her life and knew what it was like to be with a man.
She understood and had experienced pleasure, but she’d never been on fire before.
She wanted to know how it would feel to have those flames everywhere.
She wanted Jim’s strong hands on her body, touching her, taking her places she’d never been.
She trusted him—how could she not? He was a wonderful man.
Heather combed her hair, then quickly dried it with the blow-dryer.
After smoothing on tinted moisturizer, she used a little mascara and stepped back.
What if it wasn’t emotional? she wondered.
What if it was just about two friends sharing incredible, sinus-clearing sex?
Wasn’t their relationship strong enough to handle that?
Couldn’t they have the best of both worlds—a warm, caring relationship and physical intimacy without all the messy romantic junk?
Was she brave enough to try to find out?
In her heart of hearts, she knew Jim would never make a move on her.
Which meant she had to be the one to initiate anything.
What if he said no? Would she die from the rejection?
She drew in a deep breath. The answer to that last question was certainly no.
Embarrassment only felt like dying, but nothing really happened.
If he said no, well, she would pick herself up and get on with her life. Worse things had happened.
She went into her bedroom and tried to figure out what to put on. Something sexy? Something casual? Panic tightened her stomach. If only she knew if he really wanted her.
She walked to her dresser, pulled open every drawer, then closed them one after the other. “Maybe I’ll just arrange myself artfully on the bed,” she muttered. “After a couple of hours, he’ll get worried and come check on me. If I’m naked, he might get the picture.”
Of course, he might take one look at her bony body and run screaming into the night.
* * *
Jim threw down the baby magazine. In the past twenty minutes, he’d forgotten how to read.
That was the only explanation why the words danced around the page like so much gibberish.
He’d already tried pacing, but all that did was bring him way too close to Heather’s bedroom door.
Which made him think about opening it, stepping inside and joining her in her shower.
Which made him break out into a cold sweat.
He was hard and ready and tense and he just wanted to get the hell out of here.
What was wrong with him? He’d been in the house with Heather dozens of times. Sure he’d always wanted her, but the needing had been controlled. Something had happened and he couldn’t figure out what. Maybe it was the shower, the image of her naked body, slick and—
Her bedroom door opened. Jim bit back a curse.
He hoped she didn’t ask him to move for the next several minutes because there was no way he could stand up without her getting an eyeful of his aroused state.
He would think about something else, something calming and not the least bit sexual.
Tractors, or helicopters. That was it. He would mentally review his inventory and try to remember what parts needed reordering. He knew he was out of—
“Jim?”
Steeling himself against the inevitable, he glanced up. And sucked in a breath. If he hadn’t been sitting, he would have fallen on his butt for sure.
Heather stood in the doorway to the living room.
She wore a short, white terry-cloth robe.
A very short robe that belted at the waist and plunged low enough to expose a generous expanse of cleavage.
With a certainty he couldn’t explain, he knew she was naked under that robe.
Naked except for the sweet scent of her perfume.
His body tightened to the point where he thought he was certain to explode. He couldn’t speak, could barely breathe. His hands clenched into fists. He wanted her more desperately than he’d ever wanted any woman in his life.
For one brief, wild moment he thought she might be coming on to him.
Hope flared, then winked out as quickly.
Heather would never do that. Not that he wouldn’t want her to, but she wasn’t aggressive and she saw him more as a big brother than as a lover.
Didn’t she? Weren’t they both telling each other that they couldn’t get involved?
He knew he couldn’t. But that didn’t stop him from wanting her or needing her with a desperation that left him immobilized.
“Did you need something?” he said, his voice thick and hoarse.
Her mouth curved in a smile. “What an interesting choice of words. As a matter of fact, I do need something.”
Was there a leak in the shower? A blocked sink? A spider in her bedroom?
Then she started walking toward him. He couldn’t have said what was different, but he instantly understood the message.
Maybe it was the sway of her hips, or the slight thrust of her chin, or the way she led with her chest. In that second, he knew she wasn’t looking for help with a plumbing crisis.
She wanted a man. More specifically, she wanted him.
The realization added to his desire until he thought he might choke. He watched her come to a stop in front of him and draw in a breath.
“I’ve never done anything like this before,” she admitted quietly.
Her soft hair fluttered around her face and she tucked a loose strand behind her ear. He noticed that her fingers trembled.
“We’re both consenting adults,” she continued.
“Neither of us is interested in a traditional, romantic relationship. Neither of us wants to get involved. But that kiss was pretty amazing, and I can’t help wondering how the rest of it would be.
So I thought, if you were interested, we could find out. ”
Color stained her cheeks, but she held her ground in front of him.
He tried to speak, but his throat had tightened to the point where he couldn’t even breathe, let alone talk.
Images flashed through his brain. Of them together, naked, making love.
Just like he’d pictured when she first went into the shower.
Only this time he could see those tangled legs and touching bodies and know that it was really going to happen. She wanted him. She wanted him.
Heather took a quick step back. “Okay, so I read this all wrong.” She ducked her head and turned away. “You probably want to leave now, and I think you should. The earth is not cooperating by opening up and swallowing me, despite my frantic requests that it do so. It would be—”
“No!” he said urgently as her words sank into his brain.
He sprang to his feet, moved toward her and spun her to face him.
“I want you. Desperately. I’m just having a little trouble thinking that you want me in the same way.
” His hands tightened on her shoulders as he stared into her eyes.
Some of the embarrassment faded from her lovely face.
“Tell me you’re naked under this,” he said.
“As a jaybird.”
A shudder rippled through him. He groaned aloud, then pulled her close and pressed his mouth to hers.