第27章
SWAMP THING
It takes me a while to realize that I'm naked. Naked and alone.
I shoot up, pawing at the bed for Devon. He's in his bed, asleep. That's when I notice the form in the cot beside me.
Michael.
My eyes flick to my thong still hanging from the damn lamp, and I rip it off.
What is he doing here? I thought…
Oh hell, it doesn't matter. I need to be not naked.
Quickly glancing at the digital clock, I read the time, and it’s 6am. I slept for like…ten hours. Holy shit!
With my thong in my fist, I carefully wrap the duvet around my body and step off the bed.
Michael stirs, the cot squeaking loudly.
His much thinner blanket slides off his head, and I see his CPAP.
It makes me feel…warm that he’s wearing it around us.
Kelly used to talk so much shit about it.
She was constantly texting me on their last tour about how he needed to get one—that he sounded like he was going to die.
I’m glad he’s gotten it handled.
Even so, I spot the deep groove in his forehead.
He’s frowning, and the thick blonde fringe is coated in sweat.
My concern rises—I wonder if he’s hungover, sweating out the liquor from last night.
It feels wrong to assume, but if his actions as of late have shown me one thing, it’s that he’s got something going on.
Michael has been so good to me—friendly.
I wish he would tell me what’s eating at him, because it’s clear something is. I wouldn’t judge him, either.
Maybe…maybe I could even help.
When he grunts, smacks his lips, and kicks out his legs, I squawk in surprise and rush to my suitcase. Not even bothering to go through it, I just grab the handle and drag it into the bathroom.
With my back against the door, I take a few calming breaths and swoon internally when I think about last night. That explains why Devon wasn’t in bed with me. Michael came back, and he’s respecting my wishes of keeping things between us for now.
God, the way he just…took control. The way he seemed to know what I needed, even without me saying it, makes butterflies explode in my stomach. I feel…so good.
Happy even.
Maybe I don’t need to send my application to another band. Maybe…maybe I can stay with Dreadful.
I’ll admit, even though Devon and I have gotten closer, made up in ways, I was still considering it. Devon’s approval will always mean so much to me, but I’m not welcome with everyone else.
I’m the reason they almost got dropped.
Just like that, my stomach sinks a little.
After my shower, I get dressed and leave the bathroom.
My emotions are fried, too. I’m hyperaware of everything that needs to happen—that has yet to happen, and now I don’t know how to behave.
Both of them are awake, too. Devon is purposefully giving Michael the cold shoulder, and Michael is fixing a cup of coffee at the machine.
“Hi,” I say timidly. Devon glances at me, then Michael, and then back to me.
“Hey,” he says, gruffly.
“If it’s alright, I’ll just stay here until we go back,” Michael tells the room, not looking at either of us.
I frown, tearing my eyes away from Devon. “Of course, it’s fine,” I say easily.
“Are you going to cough up what’s going on?” Devon demands, tossing his phone aside and standing. “Or are we just going to ignore each other forever?”
Squirming in place, I tug at my shirt. My eyes bounce between them, unsure what to say or do.
“Nothing is going on. I freaked out, and now I’m better.” It’s inflectionless.
“Right,” Devon says with a scoff.
Michael finally looks at his friend, a silent conversation passing before Devon grumbles under his breath and walks over to me. “Let’s go meet up with everyone for breakfast, yeah?”
“Okay.” My blush is instant, and Devon’s eyes soften.
“You two finally getting along?” Michael asks, curious.
“We are…amicable,” I offer, trying not to give anything away. I even lift my chin and roll back my shoulders for added effect.
Devon snorts, and when Michael turns his back to us, he pinches my chin. “So amicable,” he all but purrs.
“Jorge isn’t awake,” Michael says, distracted and looking at his phone. “Oli says to go without them. Phoenix and Eli apparently took a very long shower as well, so they aren’t awake.”
“Ew,” I say, screwing up my face.
“So it’s us three, then?” Devon seems almost hopeful. I’m dreading it. How am I supposed to hide these new…developments without the group to buffer me?
“I’ll call Kelly,” I blurt and rush for my phone.
Kelly is attending a cat cafe with her online friends.
I can't say I'm surprised because she’s always held onto another social circle, preferring them to the band. No one takes it personally. I wish I had another social circle to run to when things get hard, like right now. I’m walking between Michael and Devon, and every time Michael looks at something, Devon gently squeezes my ass. It’s horrible.
“Stop it,” I mouth, glaring at him.
He grins and blows me a kiss just before Michael faces us. “The restaurant is up ahead,” he says, eyeing us oddly. “Did something happen yesterday?”
“I think Lex got shorter,” Devon muses. “Doesn’t he seem shorter?”
“He’s not wearing his Creepers,” Michael says like it’s obvious. I didn’t think he noticed that stuff. “But nothing bad? Kingsport is still…cool?”
“Everything is fine for the time being,” I say quickly, trying to soothe him. “Don’t worry, okay?”
He nods and sighs. “Thanks, Lex. For handling it. I owe you.”
Devon glares at Michael. I clear my throat, not understanding why he’d be mad at that, and gesture to the restaurant. “Looks busy.”
It’s like we are all aware of the awkward tension.
For one, we’ve never been together like this in public.
Just the three of us. Michael is under the assumption that Devon and I are mortal enemies, and we are…
very much so, not acting like it. Devon seems to still have an issue with Michael, but I have no idea why.
It’s all so uncomfortable, despite the sneaky flirting, that I’m tempted to cancel the entire thing.
But then Devon stops abruptly. He reaches behind me and tugs Michael to his side. “What the—oh my god,” Michael nearly squeals in delight.
They are so fucking tall, so I have to weave through other pedestrians to see what they’re looking at. When I see it, something…breaks inside me.
There’s a flyer up in a window. It’s for the tour.
A quick glance at the establishment tells me it’s a metal-themed burger spot.
I chew my cheek, watching them both fawn over their faces being plastered like they’re Metallica or someone equally as famous.
But it’s not just that. It’s everything else being put under shimmering spotlights right before my eyes.
“This is so cool!” Michael throws his arm around Devon’s shoulders, and Devon slings his arm around Michael’s waist. They look…comfortable. Perfect.
“That’s us, man. We’re fuckin’ doing it,” Devon tells him, and I stare in horror as he looks at Michael with so much love and affection I feel sick.
“We are. It’s just…seeing how our music is spreading, growing bigger. It’s…I’m not going to fuck it up, Dev. I promise.”
“I won’t let you,” he tells him sincerely. “I got your back.”
“I got your front.”
The way it strikes me like lightning hurts. Shocked to my core.
All that emotion pouring out of their eyes. The familiar touches. Their nearness. How well their bodies fit together.
Devon is in love with Michael.
It’s clear as the god damn sun in the sky.
He’s in love with his best friend—not me.
The realization hits me hard, shifting everything I believed until now.
Nausea crawls up my throat, scraping at my esophagus and singeing my tongue.
I was so sure that Devon and I were building something—something I’ve never had before.
Not that I can definitively say that he would ever fall in love with me, but wasn’t that where this was going?
He said he was going to take care of me. That he wanted to make me feel good.
“I’m sorry,” Michael whispers, but I hear it. “I’m going to get my shit together.”
Devon’s fingers squeeze his hip. “I know you will. I’m sorry too.”
They separate, but still remain close, staring longingly at the poster.
It hurts to swallow.
It hurts to breathe.
I’m just a third wheel.
Alone.
But deep down, I’ve always felt this way.
Maybe I’m just temporary, a placeholder, because the person Devon truly wants is right there. They share a bond—history. And all I have is the ugly truth that we were two people alone in a hotel room. I didn’t even get him off. I left him wanting and on edge. No one wants a broken toy.
Not bothering to announce my departure, I turn on my heel and walk as fast as I can in the opposite direction.