Only This Once (The Caldwell Sisters #1)

1. Prologue

Prologue

W hen Julia Caldwell saw Jinx in the car, her stomach twisted. She got along fine with Jinx, her best friend’s younger brother by two years, but he shouldn’t be there.

“Feebs?” she asked, stepping toward her friend’s sloppily curbed car.

“I know!” Phoebe said, racing toward Julia with outstretched arms. Julia braced for the hug, only wobbling a little. “I had to bring him. Mom was convinced I was going to a party or something.” Phoebe rolled her eyes with a grin.

Jinx closed the car door and joined them on the sidewalk, his hands sliding into the back pockets of his jeans. “Hey, Jules,” he said with a shy smile, his curly blond hair partly covering one of his blue eyes.

Girls often went crazy over his eyes.

“Hey,” Julia grunted, glaring at Phoebe. “He shouldn’t be here,” she said.

Jinx flushed, looking down at the sidewalk.

Julia’s chest pinched, but she shoved the guilt away. “There’ll be alcohol and drugs and stuff. He’s too young.”

“I’m not that young,” Jinx protested, but he didn’t lift his eyes.

Phoebe grabbed Julia’s shoulders and gave her a shake. “Oh, give a little. It’s not like we’re old enough to drink, either. And it’s Jinx!”

Exactly. It was Jinx. Julia had given him that nickname years ago. Wherever Phoebe’s brother went, trouble followed.

Not that Jesse Holden, or Jinx to her, caused the trouble.

No, he always tried his best, was nice to everyone, and was just good .

Julia liked being around him, sometimes more than Phoebe, but then everyone did.

Despite being a rule follower, no one picked on him at school.

The girls chased after him, but Jinx always deflected, often setting them up with someone who turned out perfect for them.

For someone who’d never had a girlfriend, he was an excellent matchmaker.

Jinx really was great. Unfortunately, the universe was out to get him because of it.

There was the time when they waited at the bus stop together and a neighbor’s car swerved to avoid a dog in the road. Their car hopped the curb, going straight for Jinx. He would have been run over if Julia hadn’t tackled him out of the way.

Once a tree crashed through his bedroom window. The tree had looked perfectly fine the day before, and it had been angled away from the house. No one could explain why it had landed on Jinx’s room. He’d gotten a concussion from the roof caving in.

Even on the playground when they were kids, things happened. A wooden ladder would break under his feet, a ball would swerve right for him, or they’d all walk through a bush, with only him getting stung by something.

Julia had been certain he was jinxed, and the name stuck.

“You look awesome, Jules!” Phoebe’s eyes skimmed Julia’s new shirt, trying to distract her.

It was black, like always, but the crisscrossed buckles on the front pushed up and showed off her breasts.

The neckline also ran right below her collarbone, accentuating her recent tattoo, a bleeding rose.

Julia liked the see-through lace of the back of the shirt even more, but she didn’t turn around to show her friend, stepping past her instead to sling an arm around Jinx’s shoulders.

Her arm didn’t feel right around Jinx’s shoulders, even though she’d grabbed him that way plenty of times. She frowned, her hand testing if his shoulders really were wider like they seemed, and she realized she could look him right in the eye. “Hey! Did you grow again?”

Jinx flushed. “Just a little.”

“Well, stop it. I get to be taller.” Julia grinned at him but quickly sobered. “Are you sure about coming with us? You could crash at my dorm.”

“No, he can’t.” Phoebe rolled her eyes. “You told me your dry spell is over. Don’t tell me a hookup isn’t in the cards. It’s been weeks!”

“By choice,” Julia reminded her. The guys had gotten clingy the last few times, and she’d taken a break. “Besides, I don’t use my place anyway, not after that one time.”

“Wait, what one time?” Phoebe frowned. “Was one of them a jerk or something? Who? I’ll let him have it.”

“I’d let him have it, and no, he wasn’t a jerk. He was just a pain to kick out. It’s easier when I’m the one leaving.” Julia realized she was still touching Jinx and let him go.

Excited shouts filtered to them from the house a couple of blocks up, drawing their gazes. A lot of people had already arrived. The party had generated a good buzz. The guys hosting it were going all out since the spring semester ended in another week.

“Come on!” Phoebe grabbed Julia’s hand. “Kyle’s already there.”

Julia let her friend tug her forward. “So you two worked things out?”

“Of course,” Phoebe said. “I love him. He’s the one, Jules.”

Jinx laughed from where he followed behind them. “We know. You’ve been saying that every day for a year.”

“And it’s still true. I just got scared since he’s graduating.” Phoebe’s grin fell. “It’s hard, feeling like I’m being left behind.”

“I thought he already lined up a job close by?” Julia reminded her. “You’ll still be together.”

“Yeah, he just seems so… adult lately. I’m still having fun.” She whirled around, grabbing for Jinx. “Something my little brother should do tonight.” She shook his arm. “I mean it. This party will be good for you.”

Jinx hesitated but nodded with his normal sweet smile. “Just this once.”

At the door, Phoebe let out a happy squeal. “There’s Kyle!”

Julia watched her friend launch herself toward her boyfriend before leaning toward Jinx.

“No drinking,” she told him, and he nodded without complaint.

She relaxed a little as she watched him scan the party.

“Text me if we get separated and you need a rescue.” She eyed his blue shirt, the one she’d always thought made his eyes really pop and that now strained under his wider than before shoulders.

Even his jaw looked more defined. “You look good. The girls will be all over you.”

Jinx flushed, following her over to Phoebe and Kyle. Her friend looked happy. It was nice to see since she’d been stressed lately. The party was crowded and loud, with plenty of people for Julia to check out to find her own moment of happiness.

She excused herself to do a round. When she next looked back, Phoebe and Kyle were making out, and Jinx was gone. Julia searched the crowd for him, relaxing when she saw him talking to a couple of girls from her biology class. They’d always seemed decent, so she left him to it.

After narrowing down her options, she decided to give Derek or Darren or something that started with a D a shot. He seemed hot enough for a hookup. It didn’t take much to get him to kiss her.

Julia leaned into it, seeing what he could do. She didn’t like relationships, but she really liked sex. Nothing beat an orgasm for calming her mind. Besides, she was good at sex.

Derek’s kiss was sloppier than she liked, though, and it wasn’t doing anything for her.

Or was it Darren? She bit back a sigh and broke the kiss to trail along his jaw to his ear.

“Why don’t you touch my breasts?” she offered, hoping that would get her excited.

Her nipples were sensitive as hell, and a few strokes usually did wonders to turn her on.

Darren didn’t tease or stroke. He squeezed like he wanted to pop a balloon. “Like this?” he asked, breathing hard and pressing his erection against her thigh.

Julia did sigh this time, no longer kissing his neck. “Don’t squeeze. Maybe stroke along the buckles?” They were like a roadmap, passing right over her nipples.

His fingers dug in harder as he tried to hump her leg and slobber in her mouth again. “You’ve got me so hard.”

Julia pulled back. She’d had sex with a few guys who hadn’t known what to do, but they’d been willing to take direction. That made a big difference. She dragged his hands from her breasts. “This isn’t working for me.”

Derek’s eyes narrowed. “What are you saying?”

“Learn to listen to a girl and maybe you’ll have better luck next time.”

He grabbed her arm. “You’re a fucking cocktease!” His shout had eyes turning in their direction, and his grip hurt.

She grabbed his thumb, pushing it back toward his hand until he cried out and released her. “No means no, asshole,” she told him, stalking off before she broke his nose, too.

Some guys were entitled pricks. They thought they were owed something once they became turned on.

Fed up with the party, she searched for Phoebe to see if she was ready to take off. After pushing through the crowd, she finally spotted Phoebe with Kyle near the door.

“Hey, Feebs. You won’t believe what this jerk I kissed did.”

Phoebe turned, her cheeks red and her eyes unfocused. “Count on you to find a jerk,” she slurred.

Julia frowned, her eyes shifting to Kyle. “How much did she drink?”

Kyle’s eyes were damp. “It’s my fault.” He caught Phoebe as she began to slide to the floor. “She thought I was breaking up with her. I’m not, but—”

“You are! You are!” Phoebe burst into tears.

Julia turned on Kyle. “Are you breaking my friend’s heart?”

“No! At least, not on purpose.” Kyle’s arms pulled Phoebe closer. “I love her more than anything.”

Phoebe sniffled. “You do?”

Kyle groaned, burying his face in her hair.

“What’s this about?” Julia asked since Phoebe’s boyfriend was now crying in her hair.

“He doesn’t want to marry me!” Phoebe wailed, drawing the eyes of everyone close enough to hear.

“Not yet!” Kyle lifted his head. “I just meant not yet.”

Julia grabbed her friend’s face between her hands. “That’s a good thing, Feebs. Nineteen is way too young to talk about marriage.”

“But he’s the one,” Phoebe sobbed.

Julia squeezed her cheeks. “Then he’ll still be the one a few years from now.”

Phoebe swayed on her feet.

Julia gave up on talking sense to her in this state. “I can’t believe you got drunk.”

“I was sad,” Phoebe mumbled.

“That’s no excuse. What kind of example are you setting for Jinx?” Julia’s gaze shifted to Kyle, studying him. “Are you sober?”

“Yeah. I didn’t drink. I was going to take her to my place so we could talk in the morning.” His eyes held a question when he looked at Phoebe. “If that’s what she wants.”

“I do. I want to be with Kyle.” Phoebe pulled free from Julia to bury herself against Kyle’s chest.

Julia pointed a finger at him. “No sex tonight. Even if she says she wants it. She’s too drunk for a yes to mean yes.”

“You don’t have to tell me that.” Kyle dropped a kiss on the top of Phoebe’s head. “I’ll take care of her.”

He’d been a good guy to her friend for years. Julia patted his arm. “I know you will.” She glanced at her friend. “Don’t worry about Jinx, Feebs. I’ll make sure he gets home.” She watched Kyle lift her staggering friend and carry her out the door before turning to track down Jinx.

The search didn’t go so well. By her third lap, worry clawed at her stomach. The biology girls hadn’t known where he went after talking with them, though they were acting more drunk than she expected for those two.

Julia pushed toward the hall bathroom, the one place she hadn’t checked. The line of people waiting weren’t happy when she shoved past them to knock on the door. “Jinx? Are you in there?”

No one answered.

“Some blond guy’s been in there for a while,” the girl at the front of the line said. “He didn’t look so hot.”

If Jinx had gotten drunk like his sister, Julia was going to be pissed. She knocked and called his name again, but there was still no answer. Trying the doorknob, it turned.

Jinx sat in the corner of the bathroom near the sink, his knees pulled up to his chest and his face buried in them.

Julia’s stomach twisted worse. She closed the door and crossed to him, crouching. “Jinx? Are you okay?”

His arms tightened, and then he lifted his head. His curly hair looked messier than usual, like he’d been running his hands through it. His eyes looked dry but glassy. He looked right through her.

“Jules?” His voice was almost too low to hear.

“Yeah, I’m here.” She placed a hand on his shoulder, the muscles bunching at her touch. Jinx had muscles. When had that happened?

Jinx’s breath shuddered out, then he lurched toward her, pressing against her chest. His body was shaking.

Julia’s arms curled around him. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

He didn’t say anything, tremors continuing to run through him.

Someone banged on the door, shouting at them to get out.

Jinx let out another gasping breath before pulling away, his arm wiping at his eyes. “Sorry.”

“You okay?” Julia asked again. “Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”

His arms wrapped around himself, and he just stared at the wall.

“You didn’t drink anything, did you?” she asked, but he didn’t look drunk or high.

“No,” he mumbled.

“I didn’t think you had. You’re too smart for that.” She patted his shoulder, but he ducked his head, making it impossible to read his face.

“Can you take me home?” he asked.

“Sure. That’s why I was looking for you. Phoebe left with Kyle, and I promised to get you home.” She stood, holding a hand down to him.

Jinx didn’t take it. He rose on his own, his arms still tight around himself.

The line outside the bathroom was even longer when they exited, and a few people muttered complaints. Julia told them to fuck off, but Jinx pulled into himself more.

When he got into the passenger seat of Phoebe’s car, he remained hunched, facing the door. Julia tried to ask him what had happened a few more times while she drove him home, but he just seemed to close down more.

She parked Phoebe’s car in the driveway, wishing she knew how to fix things for him. This wasn’t like Jinx at all. Even when the universe went after him, he always laughed it off.

“I’m sorry. I should have never let you go to the party,” she said.

He made a choked sound, and then he was crying. Not huge gulping sobs, but a quiet shaking, huddled against the door.

“Oh. Oh, hey.” Julia shoved the armrests up so she could reach him, tugging him toward her.

Jinx turned, burying himself against her chest again. She wrapped her arms around him while he cried. The sounds broke her heart.

She only wished she knew what had caused it, but he didn’t say another word that night.