26. Chapter 25
J esse fidgeted near the hospital’s garage entrance.
His fingers fiddled with the bottom edge of his dress shirt.
Should he have tucked it in? He’d paired it with his jeans, like that night out at the bar, but this time he was wearing a white button-down instead of the blue one Julia liked best. The blue one had been dirty since he’d stayed over at Julia’s more often than not this week and had been neglecting his laundry. Maybe—
Someone called his name, and his head jerked up, even though it couldn’t have been Julia. She would have used his nickname. He waved to the nurse in greeting, but that made her slow down.
He pulled out his phone, relieved when she exited instead of stopping. Only a couple of minutes had passed since he’d last used that prop to look busy. Each time an employee passed, he got more nervous, but Julia had been the one who set their meeting spot.
They’d been dating for a couple of weeks now, and it had been the best weeks of his life.
Julia had been right. Not much had changed, not really, but there’d been a lightness between them that made everything feel easy.
They’d already practically been dating before, but labeling it made the time together seem even more special.
Some nights, they’d snuggle and relax at her apartment, while other nights they’d take turns planning dates.
Tonight was a date night, and Jesse had found tickets to an Edgar Allan Poe speakeasy type show that he was excited to surprise her with.
The timing would be tight on a work night, which was why she’d suggested they change at work and leave together.
Charles had had surgeries at the hospital.
The public aspect of meeting up made him nervous. Julia wasn’t shy about PDA when they were on their dates, but the hospital felt different. Each time an employee there whispered about her, her lips would press together and her tension would increase. He wished he could take away her pain.
He didn’t want to make anything hard on her. When she arrived, maybe it’d be okay just to take her hand? No, he should keep his hands to himself until they got to the Jeep. His racing heart slowed at the decision, letting the stiffness in his shoulders ease.
“Jinx!” Julia called.
He looked up to catch her eyes drifting down his body, her strides quick and purposeful. Her fingers warmed his cheeks when she leaned in and kissed him. It was a quick peck, but his heart turned over in his chest.
He stared into her eyes from so close. “Hi.”
Her lips twitched. “Hi.” Her hands trailed away and dropped to her sides. “Ready to get out of here?”
Another employee gave them the side-eye as they passed, the automatic doors rumbling open.
“Sure,” he agreed, swallowing his wince. Since she’d already kissed him in full sight of anyone who might pass, he had been about to take her hand, but he ran it over his hair instead. “I think you’ll like what I have planned tonight.”
“Yeah. I’m sure I will.” Her shoulder bumped his as they turned to walk together. “You always find something interesting to do.” Her voice sounded distracted, and he glanced over to see her head turned toward where the employee was walking away.
Jesse had known it would bother her for them to be seen together.
His palms grew damp, and he wiped them against his jeans.
Their footsteps echoed in the parking garage.
He glanced down at the duffel bag she clutched in her hand.
Julia had changed, too. She had on a dark-gray shirt that looked soft to the touch over a pair of black jeans.
Her hand between them pressed hard into her thigh.
He resisted the urge to take it by opening the passenger door for her, letting her slide inside, the duffel shoved in at her feet.
By the time he sat next to her, her head rested against the seat, her eyes closed. She took a steadying breath. He frowned as he studied her face, which looked pinched and tired.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
Her head lifted and her eyes opened. She flashed an attempt at a smile at him. “Yeah. Sorry, I’m just a little tired tonight.”
His hand dropped away from his key in the ignition, reaching for her instead. He cupped her cheek, turning her face toward him more fully. “We could do a relaxing night at your place instead of going out.” His finger stroked. “That is, if you don’t mind me inviting myself over.”
Her hand came up to rest over his, and that strained smile flashed again. “You’re always welcome, but you made plans for us. Let’s just do the plan.”
“It wasn’t a lot of money. If you’re tired—”
“I’m fine, really. Just feeling a little…” Her eyes dropped, and her hand tightened over his. “No. Everything’s fine.”
Nothing was fine, because Julia wasn’t, not really. He turned his hand, linking it with hers and lowering them to rest on the center console. “Talk to me.”
She bit her lip.
“Was it that people saw us together at the hospital? I’m okay if you don’t want to meet up there. It made me nervous, too.”
Her eyes blinked, and she released her lip, wrinkles creasing her forehead. “Oh, did that bother you?” She met his gaze again, focusing on him. “I guess I did kiss you, didn’t I? If you’d rather I didn’t do that in public, I—”
“I never mind you kissing me,” Jesse rushed to reassure her.
She smiled for real, even if it was a slight one, the side of her head resting back against the seat again.
“You’re cute. Almost as cute as when I kissed you in there.
” There was a crease near her mouth when she frowned this time.
“It’s nothing anyone did. I just feel a little…
off today. I can push through it. I don’t want your efforts to be wasted. ”
“You feel off?” He remembered then. Not that he’d forgotten, not really, but Julia always seemed so put together and sure.
He’d seen her take her pill the mornings they were together, just as he took his own, and he knew hers was for depression, but it never fit her in his mind.
“Oh.” He studied her again, seeing the fatigue in the way her eyelids drooped.
She squeezed his hand. “It’s not you, Jinx. Your plan seems fun. I know you made this date for me.”
He shook his head, his throat tightening.
She was pushing herself. For him, yes, but because she saw it as the right thing to do.
He lifted their clasped hands to his lips, kissing the back of hers.
“Then I guess it’s a good thing I planned out a chill at home evening instead,” he said, releasing her so he could turn the key in the ignition.
Her hand hovered but then settled on his thigh. “You don’t have to change things.”
“Cuddling with you is a perfect evening to me.” He checked the backup camera and mirrors, reversing slowly from the space. “This isn’t a hardship. Unless… do you not want that? If you’d rather have some alone time, I can drop you off.”
“No,” she denied, her hand relaxing over his jeans. He glanced her way as he put the Jeep in drive, finding her eyes shut. “A night of nothing with you sounds perfect.”
He let the doubts inside slip away as he drove to her apartment.
The pinched look around her eyes had eased some by the time he followed her up.
He locked the door behind them, gesturing for her to head to her bedroom.
“Change into something comfortable for lounging around, and I’ll make us something quick to eat. ”
She hesitated, then drifted away, and he knew she was more than a little off.
He’d cooked with her in her kitchen, but she usually insisted on doing most of the work.
Grilled cheese and soup were quick and easy, and he already knew she had the fixings.
He found her on the couch, not playing with her phone but staring at the empty screen of the TV, her legs curled under her and her head on the armrest.
He set up one of her TV trays in front of her. “Come on, try to eat something.”
She sat up, scooting closer to the food.
He turned on one of the sitcom reruns she liked to watch, and they ate silently. She didn’t eat a lot and tried to help him clean up after, but he waved her away, reminding her that there wasn’t much to do.
When he came back, she was curled up on the couch.
The noise of the TV filtered in the background, but she wasn’t watching it.
Her eyes had closed. He sat beside her, reaching for the blanket on the back of the couch to cover her, but she shifted, curling up toward him instead, her head resting on his thigh.
“Sorry. You don’t have to stay,” she mumbled.
His hand froze on the way to her hair. “Did you want me to leave?” She’d told him she wasn’t good company the last time this had happened, but she’d seemed to like him being there. He hated the idea she’d been forcing herself even then.
Her head shifted along his thigh as she shook it slightly. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay, that’s all.”
He let his hand find her hair, his fingers sifting through the short strands. She let out a sighing breath. “I’m doing exactly what I want to do. No cute dragon game this time?”
She hesitated, then made a small “uh-uh” sound.
He kept up what he hoped were soothing strokes. Her tension seeped away as she relaxed into him fully. He thought about asking her if someone at the hospital had said something, but he didn’t want her to have to think about it if she wasn’t already.