CHAPTER 9
Mark’s breath shortened, the images of the undisturbed, unhindered pleasure everything in the room promised overwhelming his mind. The room wasn’t as large as the one they’d shared in Caster’s mansion, but the subdued space seemed to hold everything they would need.
His eyes landed on the main feature, the giant bed whose red and black covers matched the general décor.
It was inviting. He wanted nothing more than to tangle in the sheets, Caster’s smooth skin against his, fall asleep, and forget the outside world, forget everything.
But everything else in a room designed for ultimate pleasure stole his attention.
The only other dominant he’d been with had preferred to keep their activities a guarded secret.
So they could never have this, not with a wolf society that insisted on remaining communal and considered his submissive nature a weakness.
He exhaled as he approached all the tools made for a pleasure his mind reached for.
Drawers lined the wall, and his fingers itched to open them, to touch the implements of pleasurable torture they contained.
He glanced at Caster over his shoulder, expecting to find the knowing smirk, only for unguarded desire on his face, tinged with enough determination to weaken his knees.
A single nod, the permission he needed was granted, and Mark walked to the sex swing first, the image of Caster’s body holding him captive in it so enticing he couldn’t contain his moan.
His fingers traced the leather straps holding it in place, the red-and-black cushion designed to offer some semblance of comfort.
He bit his lip, his cock throbbing in its confines as his eyes found the St. Andrew’s Cross, an image of his bound form at Caster’s mercy invading his mind.
“Baby, come here.”
The hoarse command, low and demanding, was a signal he’d long forgotten to guard his thoughts.
He turned away from the playroom’s magnificence toward Caster’s will, but he stumbled.
Caster occupied the settee at the foot of the bed, leaning against the pillows arranged behind it to make it look like a couch.
His legs were spread, and a single nod toward the space he created was all the command Mark needed.
He was on his knees, thoughts of Caster’s cock in his mouth overriding the images of everything the room promised.
Caster chuckled and reached for his hair, a gentle caress guiding him to look up. “You don’t want to close your mind?”
Mark’s gaze fell to his lap, the outline of his cock straining against the slacks he wore too enticing. “I’m sorry…”
“You keep saying that.”
Mark winced, expecting the consequence of Caster’s anger, but a moan long drawn out and low tore from the depths of his heart when the gentle touches moved to the back of his head.
“Look at me!”
His eyes popped open with little hesitation. Mark wanted this more than anything. He wanted the world to consist only of this.
Caster’s hand cradled his cheek, and he leaned into it. “I know, my love. I want that too.”
Mark settled into the position, the protection and assurance Caster’s touch offered giving him the safety to relax into the moment. He met Caster’s gaze and took a breath, absorbing his unique scent, using it to ground himself.
“You comfortable?”
He nodded.
“Are you OK?”
His heart jumped at the question, a learned response, his way of protecting what was left of his heart. But when he dared to look at Caster’s face, there was no pity, no indication of his perceived weakness, just love. His nod was small.
Caster’s caress moved through his hair, and his vision blurred. “I will always ask you that question, and I want you to promise you’ll always answer.”
“Yes, Caster.” His voice was small, a broken whisper. He didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to think. He wanted it all to go away.
Caster smiled. “Yes, baby. That’s why we're here. But you know you can’t give me full control unless we talk first.”
His trainer had said it was the golden rule. The dominant had to understand the submissive in every way before full control was surrendered. But Mark already loved Caster with everything in him; they didn’t need to—
The sudden tight grip on the back of his head tore his breath out of his lungs, and he moaned. “It’s not the same, and you know it. Last time, I respected your wishes for something temporary. Now, you are mine. You will give me everything. Am I clear?”
He hesitated.
The tight hold tightened further, drawing a painful moan that bordered on pleasure. “I know you’re impatient, but we need to get this part out of the way, and then I will make it all go away.”
Tears stung, filling his eyes to the brink as Caster’s unrelenting grip tightened further. He took a breath. “Yes, Caster.”
Their lips met in a blur of movement, but the kiss was too gentle, as was the caress now easing the pain at the back of his head.
He surrendered to Caster’s comforting tongue, his hands finding purchase on his waist, the taste he would never get used to invading his whole mind, tearing away all thought, all possibilities, but this moment.
Their faces were too close, their foreheads touching, their breaths mingling in the space devoid of all their problems.
Caster touched his lips, unwilling as he was to move. “I’m so sorry, my love.” His whisper was low, seeping through their connection, his words nonsensical, his smile subdued. “I should have come to you when you needed me.”
He started to shake his head, but the obvious pain in Caster’s expression worried him.
“I need to say this…”
He nodded, granting his Dominant, the man he loved beyond words, the vulnerability he sought.
“I love you more than anything. I will regret my weakness in that moment for the eternity we spend together.” He closed his eyes and took a breath. “But it will never happen again…”
Mark couldn’t have resisted if he’d wanted to.
This time, the kiss was a declaration of his forgiveness.
There was nothing to forgive, but for Caster, he would give anything.
He poured his forgiveness, his love, into the single kiss.
His knees throbbed as he struggled to give Caster everything, but that discomfort would not come close to the desperation of their need for each other.
Caster pulled away, and unwilling to let the moment go, he chased his lips, but the smirk returned, and he smiled. His Caster, the Caster he needed, was back.
Caster leaned back, his eyes roaming Mark’s body, the loaded look intensifying the impossible arousal he battled. “Still comfortable?”
He nodded. There was nowhere else he wanted to be.
“Good.”
A rush of warmth flooded his body, his wolf bowing to Caster’s pleasure. His animal made no sound, content in the safety of the assurance, but he was there, so close, Mark could almost touch him.
“Yes?” Caster tilted his head.
He nodded.
“Tell me about yourself.”
Mark frowned. Of all the things he thought Caster would ask, this was not it.
“Stop anticipating my mind. I promise you, you’ll never decipher my thoughts or plans.”
“That’s unfair.”
Caster laughed. “Is that insolence?” His smile was bright. “Here, I thought you obeyed me without question.”
“I do.” His voice sounded a little whinier than he intended.
Caster raised an eyebrow. “Tell me, everything.” He gestured around the room. “All of this is for you. But if I am to give you everything you want, I need to know.”
Mark swallowed the lump in his throat, unwilling to talk about his time with Zeke.
Caster’s hand was at the back of his head, forcing his gaze up. The anger flashing across his face was unexpected, and Mark forgot to breathe again. “No. We’re not talking about him. I will not allow him to infect this. Is that clear?”
Mark could only nod, and even that was a chore, too heavy for his burdened mind.
The touch turned soft, the anger in Caster’s demeanor fading into a sigh Mark more felt than heard. “Baby, breathe please…”
Tears sprang to his eyes, his wolf whined, but he did as he was told.
“I want to know about you. About what you like, what you don’t like, and what your limits are. Only you, no one else.”
Mark surprised himself by smiling. “I don’t think I have many limits.”
“Tell me.”
The calm both sides of himself experienced in Caster’s presence snuck past the psychic barrier to soothe his wolf, who sighed in rhythm with his heart, his animal’s trust in Caster complete.
It was time for his human self to get on board.
He stared at his hands, Caster’s patience a gift he didn’t intend to squander.
His voice when it came was much stronger than he imagined it would be, given the topic of discussion.
“It’s true. I want all the pain you can give me. I need it.”
He dared a glance at Caster’s face, and the unguarded desire, the unwavering determination, was softened by the affection he couldn’t hide.
“I’ve always wanted it. Craved it. No one could give it to me the way I wanted it. Not until…” He took a breath. “… not until our first time at the club.” He lowered his gaze. “But I want more.”
The sharp intake of breath from Caster was the only indication he was just as affected by this.
His courage gathered, Mark soldiered on. “I crave your touch.”
That touch came, brushing against the strands on the back of his head, and his breath caught. “What else?” Desire, the same desire he felt, distorted the perfect baritone of Caster’s voice.
“I like to feel trapped. Immobilized…”
“But?”
His smile was small, but he was still unable to meet Caster’s gaze, certain what he saw there, the energy of the moment would be his undoing. “But I’ve never trusted anyone enough to be…”
“Safe?”
He nodded.
“Even Zeke?”
He couldn’t avoid looking at him now. The truth hid somewhere in memories he’d long forgotten.
Zeke had been dominant in a way that soothed the submissive in him, but he’d never been one for elaborate play sessions.
Mark had always been the instigator, sometimes begging for a session that was often lackluster.
Caster’s hand floated through his hair to cradle his cheek. “I don’t want you to compare. I’d prefer if you never thought of him at all, but that’s impractical, isn’t it?”
“I don’t want to. I want…”
“What do you want?”
He took a breath, a heart Zeke’s return had shattered, mending the longer he basked in Caster’s protection.
“I want it all to go away. Please make it go away.”
It was irrational. At some point, they would need to deal with Zeke’s immense presence in their lives, but Mark wanted him out of his life even for a moment.
“Look at me!”
He found that protection in Caster’s determination.
“I won’t let him hurt you, do you hear me?”
Yes, Caster. The words wouldn’t flow past his mind to his vocal cords. The connection was broken. But Caster’s smile gave him hope.
“Answer me this. Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” With everything in him, he knew Caster would never do anything to sully that trust.
Caster nodded. “OK. I love you, you know that, right?”
Mark smiled.
“I will try to make this experience new for both of us. That means you have to trust me to read your reaction, and we can set new limits for us. How does that sound?”
The gentle touches, the ones that flowed past the layers of his skin to awaken his arousal, returned, and he lost the connection between his mind and his mouth again. So, he moaned and nodded, trusting Caster would interpret that as consent.
The chuckle was not as mortifying as it used to be. “Look at me!”
He opened eyes he hadn’t realized he held shut.
“Do you want a new safe word?”
Mark took a moment to consider his answer. There was the danger that in the throes of what he expected would be an intense session, he would forget a new safe word. Zeke had already taken too much from him. “No.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.” He closed his eyes, summoning his courage. “Caster?”
“Yes, my love.”
His voice sounded hollow, as if he spoke from the depths of an echo chamber. “Promise we’ll discuss him after.” He opened his eyes, but the frown on Caster’s face would not deter him. “I want you to know everything.”
“I promise.” His vow was tangible, and Mark pushed all thoughts of Zeke out of his mind, knowing Caster would be there to catch him if he fell into them again.
His eyes drifted shut on his next inhale. He searched for his animal companion, their connection stronger than ever, and then opened his eyes on the exhale, ready for whatever Caster wanted.