Chapter 32
CHAPTER 32
A lex
I chuckled, shaking my head. “She used to call me that all the time, especially when I wouldn’t do something she asked me to because I knew we’d both get in trouble.
“She loves seeing you as a father but doesn’t like the loneliness you keep punishing yourself with. She said she needs you to start living life again and to do it for her.”
“I am living life.” I sighed. “I have a great kid, an exceptional business, this town, this house, no financial worries.”
“You’re being stubborn. Her words, not mine.” She smiled. “You’ve let guilt consume you for so many years that you’re on autopilot. All she wants is for you to be at peace. You have a big heart, Alex Harbor, and you have so much love to give. She’s happy you’ve returned because this is where you belong. And she’s so excited about Athena Harbor. But she needs you to forgive her and let her go.”
“I don’t understand. What am I supposed to forgive her for?”
“Dying.” She squeezed my arm. “She’s telling you that she’s okay, and all she wants is for you to be happy. When you let the guilt go, she can go to where she’s supposed to be.”
Tears filled my eyes as one escaped down my cheek.
“It’s okay, Alex. I know it’s hard because you’ve suffered for so many years. You have to let go of the past to live your future. She loves you so much and only wants to see you smile.”
“Everyone okay down here?” Asher walked over and hooked his arm around his wife.
“I think so.” Everly smiled.
“Yeah. I think I am for the first time in a long time. Thank you, Everly.”
“Don’t mention it. I’m just the messenger.” She grinned.
“One question, though,” I said.
“Okay.”
“What about my mother? Is she here?”
“No. She’s where she’s supposed to be and happy.”
“Good.” I stared out at the water.
I spent the last week working and thinking about everything Everly said. I missed Hannah so much, and not being with her or talking to her slowly killed me. I had never felt for anyone the way I did for her. I knew what I needed to do for both Athena and me.
Getting up from my desk, I walked across the street to the flower shop. When I stepped inside, I saw Mary behind the counter. Bringing my finger to my lips, I motioned for her not to alert Hannah I was here. Walking over to the cooler, I grabbed three dozen roses—one dozen red, pink, and white. I took them up to the counter and had Mary beautifully wrap them as I paid.
“Can you call her out here?” I asked.
“Of course, Alex.” She smiled.
She went into the back, and a few moments later, Hannah walked out, stopped, and stared at me.
“Hello, Hannah.” I smiled. “These are for you.” I held out the bouquet.
“What are you doing here, Alex? Seriously? You bought flowers from my shop to give me?”
“You’re the only florist in Harbor Falls. Where else am I supposed to get them from?” I smirked. “I’m extending an olive branch here. Will you please have dinner with me tonight?”
“No. I won’t.” She shook her head.
“Hannah.” I took a few steps closer, grabbed her hand, and closed her fist around the bouquet. “Please. We need to talk. Actually, I need to talk to you.”
“About what?” she asked.
“Everything. Please. I know you hate me, but I need this. I need to talk to you.”
“I don’t hate you, Alex.” Her shoulders slumped. “But I don’t think anything you have to say will change things.”
“Maybe not. But can you at least give me a chance? Please, Hannah.”
“Fine. I’ll have dinner with you.”
“Thank you. Can you come over around six o’clock? Lucy is spending the night at her friend’s house for a birthday party.”
“Six o’clock is fine.”
“I’ll see you then.” I smiled. “In fact, let me take those from you, and I’ll take them home. They can serve as the centerpiece on the dinner table.”
“Okay. If you insist.”
H annah
I watched him leave the shop as my heart felt like it was coming up through my throat.
“I heard every word he said.” Mary walked over. “That man loves you, and he wants you to give him a second chance.”
“Unfortunately for him, it’s too late. I’m not going down that road again.”
“But maybe that road will be different this time. Didn’t you hear the sincerity in his voice?”
“No.”
She sighed and rolled her eyes. “That’s because you’re too wrapped up in hurt. If you didn’t love him, you wouldn’t be hurting.”
“I’m not hurting anymore. I am so over him.”
“No, you’re not, Hannah.” She walked away to help a customer.
I slipped on my black maxi dress and stared at myself in the full-length mirror. Adalyn and Colin were due to return from their honeymoon in a couple of days, and my mother and Antonio would be moving to Harbor Falls within the week.
I pulled into the driveway of the house with a trunk full of empty boxes. I figured since I was here, I’d grab the rest of my things from the guesthouse after dinner.
“Hi.” Alex smiled when he opened the front door. “You look absolutely beautiful.”
“Hi. Thanks.” I stepped inside.
“Can I pour you a glass of wine?”
“Sure.” I followed him into the kitchen and set my purse on the stool at the island.
“I hope you don’t mind. I got us Thai food. I ordered your favorite.”
“Thanks, Alex.”
“It’s a beautiful night, so I thought we could eat outside,” he said.
“Sounds good.”
He handed me a glass of wine. We went out to the patio and sat down at the table.
“So, how have you been?” he asked.
“I’ve been great.” I lied. “Business is great, life is great. How about you?”
“Not so good. I miss you, Hannah.”
“Alex, don’t.” I took some food from the carton and placed it on my plate.
“I do, and I’m not going to lie and say everything’s great when it’s not. I’m sorry for the things I said to you. Those words came from a bad place—a place I’ve been stuck in since I was fifteen years old.”
“That’s great, Alex. I’m happy you had an epiphany.” I shoved a forkful of food into my mouth.
“Go ahead, Hannah. Say anything you want to me. Call me every name in the book, scream at me, hit me, tell me you hate me. I’m here, and I’m listening. I know you’re still angry and hurt.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. “You’re damn right, I’m still angry and hurt. For fuck’s sake, Alex.” I shook my head as I slammed down my fork. “I didn’t move here to have some guy use his charm on me to get me to fall in love with him and then turn around and say, ‘Oops, I should never have done that,’” I shouted. “I was getting over a betrayal and heartbreak as it was. Then you swoop in, and just when I thought to myself that you were the one, you pulled the shit you did. I’m not hungry anymore.” I threw my napkin on the table and stood up. “I have boxes in the car, and I’m going to get them to pack the rest of my things.”
“Stop!” he shouted commandingly when I began to walk away. I flinched. “You’re not going anywhere. Sit back down.”
“Fuck you, Harbor.” I shook my head and began walking to the front of the house.
Before I knew it, he came up from behind, grabbed me, picked me up, and carried me down to the beach.
“Let me go!” I shouted as he gripped me tight.
“No. Not until you listen to everything I have to say!” he shouted.
He set me down in the sand, one arm wrapped tightly around my waist. He held onto me as if his life depended on it. Our eyes locked onto each other.
“Please, Hannah. Just listen. That’s all I ask.”
“Fine.”
He let go of me, and I dropped onto the sand, bringing my knees to my chest. Alex sat down next to me.
“I fucked up. Not only with you, but with Lucy.”
“You’re doing a great job with her, Alex.”
“Maybe now, but I wasn’t there for her. I was so scared when Lucy’s mother told me she was pregnant. I’d decided long ago that I would never have kids.”
“Why?” I glanced at him.
“Because having kids meant you were happy, and that’s the last thing I wanted to be. It was my fault Athena drowned. I was with a girl and cared more about talking and getting with her than watching my sister. I’ve lived with the consequences of that since I was fifteen. I felt like I didn’t deserve happiness, not when Athena couldn’t get her happiness because of me. My mother blamed me. She called me horrible names and told me she wished it was me who drowned and not Athena. Every day for a year, I tried so hard to win my mother’s affection back, but she was too far gone. One night, I was in the kitchen making a sandwich. As I cut it with one of the kitchen knives, my mother walked in, grabbed the knife from my hand, and held it up to me. I’ll never forget what she said to me.”
“What did she say?”
“She said, ‘It’s either you or me because having to look at you every day is slowly killing me after what you’ve done.’”
“Oh my God, Alex.” I softly rubbed his back. “How awful. What did you do?”
“I honestly thought she was going to stab me right then and there. So, I ran out of the house and all the way to the park. I called my aunt in Chicago and told her what happened. She flew in the next morning, confronted my mother, and told her she was taking me back to Chicago with her. My mom told her to go ahead because she never wanted to see me again.”
“I’m so sorry. I had no idea it was that bad.”
“I was so afraid of failing someone else. That’s why when Lucy’s mom told me she was moving to Georgia, I didn’t try and stop her. I wanted my daughter gone and away from me. Not because I didn’t love her, I did. I was protecting her from me. Staying away from her was my way of protecting her. Just like I did with you. When I first saw you standing in front of the shop, looking through the window, I told myself what a beautiful woman you were. Then, after we talked, something inside me stirred. I knew I should have stayed away, but there was this magnetic pull I felt, and I couldn’t. That’s when the idea of renting the guesthouse came to my mind. Then we started getting closer, and I freaked out because I felt happy for the first time in forever. But with the happiness came the guilt.”
“Oh, Alex.” I brought my hand to his cheek.
He placed his hand on mine. “I love you, Hannah. I’ve been in love with you since the first time I saw you. I’m so sorry for everything I said and did, and I hope you can find it in your broken heart to forgive me. All I want to do is heal your heart and take away the pain. I know you’re not okay. Just like I’m not okay. We’re not okay apart.”