Chapter 57
R owan was staring dry-eyed at the charm bracelet that I had spent an endless hour cleaning.
It was a visceral reminder of her anguished whimpers. She spun the flower around slowly, and I wondered if she knew it had been caked in her blood.
When she said nothing, I cleared my throat. “Shall I give you and that bracelet a moment, Lemmikki?”
She let out an aggrieved sigh. “Shall I assume Kirill told you what the letter entailed?”
I gave her a pointed stare. “Unless you would prefer to assume that I enjoy risking the safety of my entire estate by not monitoring the correspondence of my prisoner and my enemy.”
She clenched her fingers around the charm until her skin turned white—well, whit er . “Well, I’m surprised you aren’t in a better mood, then. Isn’t this all you ever wanted? To eliminate the possibility of an alliance between Lochlann and Elk?”
Somehow it felt like we had moved backward in this conversation. Though I supposed she wasn’t strictly wrong. I wouldn’t tolerate that alliance. It was why I had taken her to begin with.
But the rest of this…was a mess.
“Yes,” I muttered. “I’m just thrilled with how everything has turned out.” Not particularly wanting to go down that road, I returned my attention to the jewelry she still hadn’t let go of. “What does that have to do with your bracelet?”
“He gave it to me.” She said it like it was obvious.
In hindsight, it should have been. She hadn’t been allowed to roam about on her own, and of course Korhonan wanted to mark her as his in any way he could.
I fought to keep my lip from curling. “Where else did you think I had gotten a Socairan bracelet?”
“I just assumed you bought it with your winnings from our little wager,” I told her with a smirk.
The memory of humiliating Korhonan in the ring was particularly welcome right about now.
Rowan’s expression went flat, like she was remembering that day with far less fondness than I was. “Just when I start to forget what an aalio you actually are.”
It was news to me that she ever forgot that.
“Well, we can’t have that,” I told her. “So why a lotus flower then?”
It made more sense, knowing he picked it out, since it had absolutely nothing to do with the feral princess.
She looked pained, and I almost regretted the question. But I was curious.
“He said it reminded him of me. Difficult to keep alive.” She opened her mouth, then closed it before she could add whatever she was going to.
I scoffed. Only he would think that a woman who picked up a sword and slayed trained soldiers twice her size was difficult to keep alive. Not that her big mouth did her any favors, but an ordinary princess would have been long dead by now.
“I guess you were right all along,” she murmured.
“Naturally, but what about?”
“That two weeks isn’t long enough to fall in love with someone,” she explained. “Not really.”
The way she said it, I wondered if she was talking about his feelings for her, or hers for him. And I wondered if she was right.
An image came to me unbidden. Rowan standing in a black tent, her cursed crimson hair blazing as defiantly as her pale green eyes, every Lochlannian inch of her refusing to be cowed by the men who called for her blood.
I shifted the memory to Korhonan, the way he had been ready to challenge me in a Summit tent at risk of his own life. The rare shred of bravery I had seen him show, for her.
I thought he was an idiot in a lot of ways, but even I could acknowledge that he had cared about her, though why I would bother telling her that was beyond me.
Anything to keep her from retreating back into herself.
“I’ve known Korhonan a long time,” I explained. “I haven’t always liked him, but he’s always been easy to read.” For a Socairan, anyway, though not compared to a certain Lochlannian princess. “I don’t know about love, but his feelings for you were genuine.”
She made a thoughtful sound, shifting the bracelet in her grasp, and I couldn’t help but add on.
“But he was dead wrong about that flower. If anything, Lemmikki, you’re difficult to kill.”
She raised her eyebrows in a challenge. “Oh? What would you suggest, then?”
“I don’t know.” I wasn’t exactly one for romanticism, let alone symbolic tokens of my affection. “A cockroach or something equally annoying and resilient.”
“I’m sure that would make a very appealing charm. Perhaps you can procure me one as a parting gift. After all, if Theo marries, you have no need to keep me prisoner.”
For some reason, that gave me pause. Not that I was planning on keeping her anyway, once I negotiated with Lochlann, but the casual, matter-of-fact way she referenced it still threw me.
If Theodore married tomorrow, she was right. I would have no reason to keep her prisoner. An alliance with Ram was certainly better than an alliance with Lochlann. They were practically in bed together already.
It would be simpler, really. An answer to all the problems that had plagued me since the day I first saw the tenacious princess standing in a raucous crowd of Socairan soldiers.
Of course, Elk still had her cousin. Things were by no means settled, and it wasn’t something I had to think about just yet. There was no official betrothal, let alone a date set for the nuptials.
“This is hardly the first time they’ve initiated talks with Ram. We’ll wait to see if he actually goes through with it, or if this is just another one of Iiro’s games.”
She looked less relieved by that than I thought she would be, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth thoughtfully as Taisiya came in to bring us both a cup of tea.
The princess was probably just afraid to get her hopes up, since she was still holding out for a way to marry him.
That was surely all it was.
I reached out to Lynx shortly after talking to Lemmikki. Arès responded the following day.
It was Taras who brought the letter that morning, seal broken.
“You read it?” I assumed.
It wasn’t uncommon for him to filter through correspondence so he knew how urgently to bring it.
He nodded, features pensive as he handed it over. For some reason, his gaze kept flickering to the closed door behind which Rowan was currently taking one of her very long baths. Apprehension stirred in my gut.
I am beginning to see the benefits of allying Lynx with Bear, given our relative proximity to Ram. As you know, my daughter’s hand in marriage is currently unclaimed.
He went on to discuss the possibility of a meeting, but my mind was spinning.
It wasn’t entirely unexpected, but there was a reason I hadn’t married yet. The situation with Mairi and my father was tenuous enough as it was, without bringing someone else into it. I couldn’t imagine trying to fit a wife into the life I was living now.
On the other hand, Bear would need stronger alliances if Iiro did make a play for the throne.
“We always knew we would have to marry for the good of the clan,” Taras said quietly.
I sighed, leaning back in my chair while I massaged the bridge of my nose, contemplating my options. It brought the situation with a certain difficult princess into stark clarity.
The…unusual nature of our arrangement was easy to ignore in the light of necessity. Less so when I imagined the fun I would have explaining it to my future wife.
Oh, don’t mind her. She’s just my pet who sleeps in my bed. No, I can’t have her anywhere else, at present.
Don’t want to , a traitorous voice in the back of my head corrected.
No. Can’t was right. There were risks. Wars to consider.
Taras cleared his throat, interrupting my whirling thoughts.
“Which is why I’m prepared to do my duty,” he said pointedly. “Since we both know that is the only real option.”
Again, his gaze flickered ever so briefly to the lavatory.
I opened my mouth, then closed it again. It was one thing to know we would both eventually marry for our clan, and another to offer up Taras as a sacrificial lamb in my stead.
If Arès would even agree. Mila was the daughter of a duke. I was, at present, the only unattached heir who could serve as a potential prospect for her. They could probably have swayed Iiro away from Ram for Theodore’s hand, but since that was in direct opposition to the aims of Lynx, it wasn’t a real option.
Alexei was also looking for a wife. As Nils’s oldest nephew, he was in line for the clan once his father died, assuming Nils had no other heirs. That would technically put him above Taras in rank.
But Wolf was not Bear.
Taras was currently the second-in-line for Bear, and would remain so until I sired an heir. Even if Mila was never a Clan Wife, she would have a respected position, as well as a secure one.
It might be enough, if Arès didn’t take it as an outright insult. And if my father never found out.
“That is no small ask,” I responded at last.
Taras smiled, a bare twist of his lips. “I must marry anyway, and I have seen Lady Mila. There are certainly worse arrangements.”
A low laugh escaped me. Mila was attractive, though even in her position, she was considered slightly less coveted than Lady Galina, mostly because she had a reputation for being somewhat undemure. It was no surprise she had taken to Princess Rowan when no one else had.
I tried to picture her with my proper cousin and failed. Then again, he had played cards with Rowan on a bed while she was wearing nothing more than a shirt. He was caving to the chaos around him.
If Arès agreed, this would be the best option for Bear. Taras’s wife would not have the scrutiny that mine did. And his life allowed for the complication of a wife in a way that mine did not.
As if on cue, the lavatory door opened. For some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to look at Rowan while I finished this conversation.
“Then I’ll write to him today. And if he refuses, we’ll…consider other options.”
Rowan followed Taisiya out the door, sinking down into the chair by the fire for her hour-long hair drying ritual, just another everyday bit of domesticity in the life we never acknowledged.
At least Taras didn’t express his doubt outright. Even if his pointed stare said otherwise.