Chapter 12
Chapter twelve
Drake
Normally, I was ambivalent about family gatherings. It was always good to see everyone, though half the time I showed up exhausted. My job didn’t lend itself to normal shifts, though neither did my sisters’, yet they still managed to be functional. Tonight, though? Tonight I was worried.
I pulled up to Byrne’s Tavern, a more upscale place on the outside of town. Blair wanted quality food for her birthday, so that was where we were going, even though I’d have been just as satisfied with a cheesesteak from Sal’s.
I hadn’t seen Serena since I’d swung by her place to grab the stuff to drop off at August’s.
And now, I’d fucked her ex not once but twice.
Even worse? I wanted to do it again. And again and again.
August had crashed in my bed that night, and if we both hadn’t needed to get to work, I would’ve asked him to stay the rest of the day.
Being around him was addictive. I hadn’t been able to enjoy myself with a guy on an intimate level like that in so damn long.
With hookups, it had always been out before the sheets cooled, and boyfriends hadn’t lasted long.
Too often, my odd schedule came into conflict with theirs, or our interests didn’t converge enough, and we ended up drifting apart.
I’d had more fizzled out relationships than I could count, which made me feel like I was either uninteresting or inaccessible.
Maybe both.
I shut off the engine and got out of my car, the brisk air skating across my skin.
Mom had messaged that they were inside, so I didn’t hesitate and strode up to the main door.
Once I stepped inside, the scent of cedar surrounded me, the lighting dim for ambiance.
This place was upscale rustic, the farmer chic look people were crazy for nowadays, but I liked it well enough.
Better than the white tablecloth places Serena made us trot out to.
I scanned the room, the polished pine tables already filling up, and caught my parents and sisters sitting in the far back.
They all looked like they fit right in, Serena in her black pantsuit, Blair in a cream blouse and skirt, prim and neat accessories.
I’d worn a nice pair of Levi’s and a plaid button-down, but I lacked in the classy clothes department.
Kind of came with the territory when you grew up a punk and ended up a fireman.
Even Mom and Dad had the business professional attire down, and altogether, I felt out of place.
Like everyone else was an adult and I just cosplayed.
“Hey,” I said, nearing the table.
Mom got up from the seat and squeezed me into a hug. “Put out any fires recently?”
I snorted, so used to her regular opening question that it was hard to hold back the eye roll.
Still, I gave her a tight hug, her floral perfume a punch of familiarity.
Dad hopped up too and hugged me next, then Serena and Blair followed suit, both of them crowding me at once.
Comfort flowed through me at being around my family, despite the fancy setting.
Even though I was sleeping with Serena’s ex.
Guilt prickled through me as I took the open seat they’d left for me. “What were you all talking about?”
“Crazy day at the hospital,” Blair sighed. “You’d think it was a full moon.”
“That’s when all the arsonists come out,” I said, as I skimmed over the menu. “It’s like they find it inspirational or some shit.” My nose wrinkled at the prices. I made enough to comfortably live on, but a firefighter’s salary wasn’t anywhere near what my sisters were bringing in.
“Criminals tend to operate year-round,” Serena said. “Full moon or no.”
“Mmk, Miss Fancy Prosecutor,” I said, landing on an overpriced burger. I much preferred the type I’d had at Red Square Diner not so long ago. With August. Ugh, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
“Did you have fun at the show?” Serena asked, and I straightened in my seat.
“What do you mean?” The words came out a little sharper than intended.
“You know, the show I gave you a ticket for? You went, right?” she asked, her brows lifting.
Heat rushed to my cheeks. Right, the one where August had blown me by the pier. That one.
“Yeah, it was great. Solid openers, and the band is amazing,” I said, hoping my eagle-eyed sister couldn’t suss out my guilt. Even though that was what she did for a living.
“August has the same taste in music as you, so I figured you’d be better suited to go.” She gave me a careful scan over, like she was piecing together something I hid. Last thing I needed was an interrogation at the table.
“Mom, did you get the wart on your foot looked at?” I asked in a rush.
Mom passed me a sour look, her nose wrinkling. “I don’t think everyone in the restaurant wants to hear about that.”
Serena’s gaze burned into me from across the table, and sweat prickled on my forehead.
How was I going to survive family events?
My sister was one of the best people at extracting the truth, and she was a manipulative motherfucker.
Either I had to stop sleeping with August, or I had to come out with the truth.
And right now, I didn’t want to do either.
The server swung over to my relief, and we placed our orders.
“What’s new at the firehouse?” Blair asked.
I squeezed my nape. Sure, I had the fundraiser I was attempting to put together, but without the band booked, I didn’t want to bring anything up.
If my idea flopped, I didn’t want my family to witness it—they’d seen enough of my second-rate attempts over the years.
“Uh, Hannigan got stabbed in the ass with his Halligan, which is something he’s never going to live down. ”
Dad snorted. “Maybe not dinner conversation, but that’s hilarious.”
Right. I was so used to hanging around the firehouse where no one gave a shit about manners that this sort of thing was excruciating. I’d dated a few guys who worked corporate, and they’d had similar problems with me.
August, on the other hand, was easy as hell to be around.
Maybe because we both worked unconventional jobs, but damn, I never felt judged by him.
Never felt less than. Sure, having overachiever sisters meant I got in my head a lot, but he was a breath of fresh air I hadn’t realized I’d needed this badly.
“How are you feeling in your wizened age?” I teased Blair, who rolled her eyes.
“Far too single,” she muttered. “I thought Kyle would be the one, but he ended up being another jerk.” We’d all been relieved when that crashed and burned.
Kyle had been around for two years. They’d met in med school, and he’d been insufferable.
I’d never met anyone who complained so much in my life.
“Psh, not me,” Serena said. “I’m loving being single and free again.”
“Not missing your ex?” Hearing her words were reassuring, but I grasped for anything extra to assuage my guilt.
Serena blinked. “August? God, we were barely dating. He’s an adorable guy, but I was looking for a fling, not a relationship. And he’s got relationship written all over him.”
I swallowed hard, my throat tight. I was well aware of that.
What was worse was the more time I spent around him, the more I craved having him in my life regularly.
But this wasn’t the same as getting a hand-me-down toy from Serena when we were kids.
Boyfriends weren’t in the acceptable hand-me-down category.
“Will any of you be giving me grandchildren?” Dad sighed, even though a twinkle was in his eyes. Out of our parents, Dad was the baby crazy one. Mom was more interested in the next article in Science Journal. As a microbiologist, she was constantly studying up on new things.
“Count me out,” I said. “I can’t even find a guy willing to weather my schedule enough to settle down.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with the guys you’re dating,” Blair said. “My residency schedule is shit, but worthwhile people will stick around.”
“Oh, like Kyle?” Serena teased while Blair rolled her eyes.
I forced a smile, but my chest sank. Blair hadn’t meant an insult, but her comment cracked right through the flimsy shield I’d been wielding to cover why my relationships never panned out.
Work. I always blamed work.
Truth was, I wasn’t worth staying for. Too distant, too remote, too much of a thrill seeker. Around for a good time, but beyond that, no one wanted to bother digging beneath the surface. I knew I wasn’t easy. I didn’t offer my heart on my sleeve for just anyone.
My phone buzzed, and I jumped for the distraction.
For as fluffy as clouds look, did you know they’re heavy?
I snorted. August was full of odd facts and random comments, and I loved that I never knew what he would say next. I shot him back a message
Did you need to factor in weight for cloud-napping?
The dot-dot-dot was instantaneous.
The only napping I’m going to be doing with clouds is on them.
The smile rose within me unbidden, all storms dissipating. August had that effect on me, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t crave it. The more time I spent around him, the more I wanted him to be mine.
“Who’s making you smile?” Serena asked, trying to peer over at my phone.
I slipped it back in my pocket, not wanting her to see our text chain. Panic rushed through me. Normally, I would’ve coasted through this family dinner, but tonight, I was close to stepping on minefields at every turn.
She arched her brow. “That was a heart-eyes look, Drake Castillo. You don’t do heart eyes.”
“Please tell me you’re not dropping those terms in the courtroom.” I deflected, even though I didn’t stand a chance of her giving up. The bulldog had caught the scent, and while she might not push now, she wouldn’t let this go.
Which meant I needed to sort my shit out when it came to August.
Whether that meant risk everything and claim him or end this, I still hadn’t figured.
All I knew was I’d gotten myself in far too much trouble.