Chapter 5
brIDGET
“Really, I’m fine… I just need to see my daughter. Can anyone tell me if my daughter is here?”
I am so, so far from fine. I’m about a minute away from total mom freak-out mode.
I have no idea where my daughter is. I missed the biggest meeting of my career so far, and there is no way I am going to have a job tomorrow.
But after getting stitches in my eyebrow and being taken for a bunch of tests, I’m feeling more alert. More like myself. The entire staff at the hospital are treating me like something is seriously, seriously wrong, when really, all I care about is what’s happening with Mia.
After I answer the same questions over and over again, a nurse tells me they’re considering admitting me, and that’s when I literally start to lose it.
“No.” I shake my head, but that small movement triggers a blast of pain.
“I can’t be admitted. I have no childcare.
Please,” I beg, hoping the nurse will pass along my concerns to whoever is in charge of my treatment.
They keep referring to doctors and radiologists and all these other people who are making decisions about my future.
But the nurse at the bedside in the ER room they’ve got me in has been so, so kind.
She listens and seems genuinely sympathetic when I talk about insurance and out-of-pocket expenses.
“Can’t I just get a referral and see a doctor later this week? ”
The nurse gives me another kind smile. “We’ll see what the doctor says.”
I don’t like the sound of that. Not one bit. But before I can argue, the curtain in the cubicle I’ve been placed in moves aside, and I hear a voice that brings tears to my eyes.
“Mama!” Mia is throwing herself at me, climbing up onto the bed to hold me.
I don’t care how much it hurts, I close my eyes and grip my daughter to my chest. I stroke her hair, the ballerina bun I put in this morning now messy and falling to one side. The tears flow down my face so fast, I can’t stop them.
“Baby. My baby.” I rock back and forth just a bit, clutching my sweet girl as hard as my weak arms will allow. “I’m so sorry. You must have been so scared. Are you okay?”
We’re both crying so hard and talking over each other that I hardly notice the man standing a few feet away. He’s beside the parted curtain, and while he looks like he doesn’t want to come too close, he’s looking right at me.
He’s got a haunted, dark look about him.
His long night-black hair is slightly messed up, and he’s got a dark beard across his chin and jaw.
He’s wearing an armband around his bicep, which is hilarious, because the man’s so big and tattooed, he looks like with one flex, he could snap the phone holster right off his arm.
While he’s imposing and dark, he’s holding Gavin the giraffe between his hands and looking completely out of place.
“Excuse me?” I call out and then motion him to come closer. I recognize his face as the man from my house. I untangle one arm from my grip on Mia and extend my hand. “I’m Birdie,” I say. “Are you the man who helped us this morning?”
He nods and shifts Gavin to his other hand, and he awkwardly slings my purse over one shoulder. Then he reaches out his hand to shake mine. His grip is warm and firm, but he releases me quickly. “I’m Logan.”
Mia steps in to fill in the gaps. “Logan drove me here. He tells great jokes. Also, Mama, his nickname is Crow. Just like your nickname is Birdie, he has a bird nickname.”
Crow? The man’s nickname is Crow? And he drove my daughter here? While I’m panicked a man I don’t know has had custody of my daughter for the last few hours, I’m also incredibly grateful to this Crow person.
Mia seems fine—better than I would expect, even—and I can’t imagine a better endorsement at the moment than a man who tells great jokes.
“Birdie,” he says, his voice low. “How are you feeling?”
I sigh. “That’s the million-dollar question. Meaning they want to run a million tests before they’ll tell me.”
I debate briefly whether I should say more. I don’t owe this man an explanation, but he is my knight in shining armor, so I feel like I owe him at least a little detail.
“I get migraines sometimes,” I say, “and lately, I’ve had some issues.
It came on really strong this morning. I was trying to get downstairs to get some medicine, and I tripped over that damn loose carpet on the stairs.
At least, I think that’s what happened.” I look at Mia and mumble, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said damn. ”
Logan twists his lips into an almost smile.
“It’s okay, Mama. You’ve had a hard morning.”
I look into my daughter’s eyes and just lose it.
Yes, I have had a hard morning. But I’ve also had a hard month.
A hard year. Everything lately has been hard.
If a pink slip is waiting for me on my desk, things are about to get so much harder.
And I am already so, so tired. I can’t imagine things getting worse.
The realization that they may, that they will, sends me into a moment of panic.
I hold my daughter closer, and I can’t stop the tears.
Before I realize what I started, Mia’s crying, and Logan’s looking at Gavin in his hands like he doesn’t know where he belongs in all this.
He steps closer to my bed and grabs the box of tissues from the side table.
After he pulls three from the box, he hands two to me and takes one and starts pretending to dab Gavin’s eyes.
“Lot of tears in here today, Gav,” he says, talking to the stuffed giraffe. “You going be all right, little buddy?”
Mia immediately pivots from tears to giggles. She holds her hand out for Gav. Logan hands over the stuffed animal, and Mia holds him close. “You’re going to be okay, little buddy,” she says very, very quietly under her breath to her toy.
She hasn’t played with stuffed animals or talked to them in a very long time.
“Gav,” I say, “I know you can be brave. You’ve already been a very brave little guy.” I smooth Mia’s hair and take a few deep breaths to calm my emotions. “We’re going to be okay,” I whisper. “We all will.”
Crow is staring at us, and I start to apologize. “Logan, I’m so sorry. I’m sure you had places to be today…”
He holds up a hand. “That’s all right.” He sets my purse on the table next to the box of tissues. “I’m free today. Was happy to help. Are they going to release you, you think?”
I shrug. “I hope so. They’re waiting for the results of one of the tests to make sure I don’t have…
” I pause, not wanting to say too much in front of Mia.
“…anything going on. Once that’s back, I’m hoping they will let me go.
I just want to go home and rest in my own bed.
Put this whole day behind me.” I look at the man, so huge in this small space that he looks like he hardly fits.
He’s hunching his shoulders, and I notice he’s wearing running clothes.
“Logan, I…I don’t know how to thank you.
You drove Mia here? How did you even know to come help? ”
“I was running by, and Mia asked to use my phone to call 9-1-1. She was a real champ. Your phone seems to be missing, but she was able to find your keys and purse, so I drove her here. The police offered to bring her, but she wanted to ride in the car so you’d have a way home.
And so she could ride in her seat thing there.
” He nods, and a flush of embarrassment heats my cheeks.
I was almost out of gas, and the car was probably a mess. I don’t know how he even fit in my small sedan. The man’s legs look like tree trunks stuffed into gray sweatpants.
“Mia was a real hero,” he says, nodding at her. He’s so serious, but there’s a lightness that comes through the dark exterior. “I just followed her lead. She knew exactly what to do.”
“What happened after I fell down the stairs, baby?” I stroke Mia’s hair, desperately wanting to fill in the gaps. I have vague memories. I know I lost consciousness for a bit, but mostly, I remember being scared and in pain and feeling like if I moved, I’d get sick.
“I couldn’t find your phone, so I went outside. I knocked on the house next door, but no one answered.”
Oh God. My heart lodges in my throat as I picture my baby, her tiny fist pounding on a neighbor’s door for help. How scared she must have been.
“Then Crow ran by and stopped.” Mia points to Logan and gives him a smile. “Although if he was really a crow, he would have been flying.” She giggles. “And you know the rest, Mama.”
I don’t, though. I don’t know the rest, and I want to. Want to know every second of what happened when this man stepped into my house, swooping in to save the day.
“I don’t know how I can repay you,” I say.
“I’d like to try. Can I get your contact information?
Buy you dinner or… I don’t know, Logan. Crow.
” As I start to get stressed out thinking about what comes next, everything just hurts.
My face, my head. My heart. I rest my chin against Mia’s head and close my eyes.
“I would take your contact information, but like you said, I have no clue where my phone is. I was at the top of the stairs talking to my boss when I dropped it.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t owe me anything.”
I stop him with a hand. “Please,” I say. “My God, you’ve done so much. I insist.”
His dark eyes grow more intense as he looks at me, his full lips set in a serious frown. Not a frown, exactly, but when I look past the sexy stubble, his mouth is tight. Like he’s uncomfortable. And the poor man probably is.
“I…I have my own debts to repay. I was happy to help. Don’t worry about it.”
His own debts to repay…
I watch the attractive stranger and try to make sense of his words. But before I can think it through, there’s a sudden sound of footsteps outside my little partition.