Chapter 15 Crow #2
Morris throws a punch that intentionally doesn’t land in my gut.
“Some things haven’t changed. I could still beat your ass, Crow.
” He levels his gaze at me. “I want you to use my truck until you’ve got one of your own.
We’re brothers. We help each other out. No questions asked, no debt.
We don’t fucking keep score. Now, go to work. ”
I try to refuse, try again to hand him back the keys, but Morris puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes.
“Shut your mouth and listen.” His words are stern but sincere.
“Most people don’t get a second chance in life.
Don’t waste a moment of yours thinking you’re not good enough for Birdie.
You are. You hear me? You are. You want her, don’t let fear or pride or anything else get in the way. Now, go to work, asshole.”
I clutch the keys in my fist and watch Morris walk out of my room. With a renewed sense of purpose in my chest, I grab my phone. I delete the lame-ass text I had composed to Birdie and type up a new one.
Good morning, gorgeous. I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ll see you at work. Talk soon.
I don’t ask permission, and I’m not going to apologize.
I want Birdie. And Morris is right. If she’s my second chance, I’m not going to let her slip away.
Not for anything. I hit send, grab my shit, and rummage in my closet for my old leather vest. It’s been here, way in the back, since the week I surrendered myself.
I haven’t put it on since, but today, I’m going to be me again.
I slide my arms through the sleeves and adjust the fit.
I’ve lost a bit of weight since I wore this last, but only the extra I needed to lose.
My arms look more cut than they ever did, and I look like someone I remember.
Someone I haven’t seen in a long fucking time. I look like me.
And I feel good.
When I pull into the parking lot of the strip mall, the entire place is quiet.
Tim’s truck is in the back lot, and I see both Alice’s and Birdie’s cars.
I park the truck and walk up to the Canine Crashpad first. I can see through the plate glass that Birdie is inside, her head down and her back to the glass.
I yank open the doors, ready to face whatever she’s feeling.
If she doesn’t want me, if she regrets what we did, I’m gonna take it like a man.
Stake my claim, say my piece, but then I’ll accept her feelings and move on.
I need to do this. Need to do something that makes me feel like, whatever the consequences, I’m making a move again.
I’m taking back the shame, the fear, and putting myself out there.
“Birdie?”
I’m stunned to see her shoulders are shaking, her face wet with tears. There are a half dozen dogs running around and playing with one another, and when I open the door, the barking starts.
Shit. This cannot be good for her head.
“Shh, shh. All right, all right.” I bend down to let the pups lick and sniff me, and within a couple minutes, they are all relaxed and back to running after one another or snoozing on beds. I immediately turn my attention to Bridget.
“This is no good,” I tell her, shaking my head. “The barking, the noise…”
She doesn’t say anything, but she launches herself into my chest. “Crow,” she whispers.
I wrap my arms around her and breathe in her scent, the berries and vanilla of her hair bringing me back to the more intimate moments we spent in her bed. My body responds, but I need something else right now. I need to know exactly what’s making my girl cry.
My girl.
It feels good to think it. Even better to say it.
“What happened?” I ask, lifting her chin so our eyes meet. “Baby, what’s got my girl so wrecked?”
A tiny smile tips her lips even through the tears.
“Is it the noise? The dogs? Because—”
She shakes her head. “God, no. Lia’s got some really good clients here.
The dogs get excited when someone comes in, but the last hour I’ve been alone with them has been so easy, Crow.
I can’t believe this is a job. I’ve never had more fun.
In fact, Alice is going to cover for me this afternoon so I can pick up Mia from school and bring her here.
Lia keeps full records on every dog. Since Zoey’s here so much, Lia only takes dogs who can be around children. Mia is going to lose her mind.”
I stroke my thumb across Birdie’s cheek, swiping away the hot tears. “So, what is it, then? Why the tears?”
“My head’s a mess—not the headaches,” she clarifies. “Something happened yesterday while you were working. I needed a minute to process it, and I didn’t want Mia to know anything until I figured it out.”
My chest tightens, and I start to feel my concern turn to anger. “What? Baby, I’m dying here. Who hurt you?”
She rests her forehead against my chest. “My father. Again.”
I almost release a relieved breath because this is a battle I know. Shitty dads. “What’d he do? I thought you had no contact?”
She shakes a little in my arms. “He showed up at my front door,” she says. “He wanted to talk.”
“He fucking did what?” I’m starting to see red.
She shrugs. “I didn’t let him say anything. I sent him away and told him to stay away.”
“But it still hurts.” I don’t even have to ask. I know.
She nods. “I went from floating on a cloud after our…you know…and then—wham. The universe couldn’t give me one morning to enjoy what I was feeling. James Sanderson had to show up out of nowhere. After all these years.”
I listen as she talks about what happened, but I make a mental note of the man’s name.
“What can I do?” I ask. “You want me to go talk to him?”
She rubs her face. “You would do that? You’d put yourself out to find out what he wants?”
I think about Arrow and realize we have ways of finding shit out about people. I just may not like doing it as a career. But if it helps me get something Birdie needs…
“I’d do anything for you,” I admit. I hold her face in my hands.
The morning sun is streaming through the plate glass of the Canine Crashpad, making Birdie’s eyes look like silver stars.
I kiss her forehead. “I know we haven’t known each other long, and I’m not asking you for forever.
Not yet. But you know I lost a lot of life from a stupid decision.
I’m not going to make stupid decisions anymore.
Not if I can help it. Letting you get away—that would be the stupidest mistake of my entire life. ”
She lifts up on her toes and crashes her mouth into mine. Our tongues tangle, and I grip her hips with my hands, pulling her tightly against me. Our bodies are pressed so close, I’m sure she can feel the bulge behind my zipper as it rises to meet her belly.
She runs her hands along my back and cups my ass, pulling us even closer. “Crow,” she moans, “meeting you was luck. Keeping you is a choice. And I want this. I want you.”
One of the little dogs is panting and whining at my ankle, which completely tears me out of the moment. But I think that’s for the best.
“Unless you want me to take you right here,” I grit out, “I’d better get to work.”
She kisses my chin and cheeks and mouth again, her tongue flirting with my lower lip until I’m laughing and backing away.
“You’re a bad influence…” I say.
“You just said I was a good decision,” she teases. “Go to work.” She releases me and nods. “Can you come over tonight? Mia will be home, but I’d really love to see you,” she says. “Our first time might just have to be in my car on the way home.”
“I’ll be there, babe.”
“Enough about me and my problems. How did yesterday go with Arrow?”
“It was only a one-time deal.” I brush it off. Now’s not the time for long stories. “That shit wasn’t for me. I’d rather work in the shop or do construction.”
She looks at me, a tilt to her chin like she knows there’s got to be more to it, but she doesn’t press. “There’s a lot of ways to make a living,” she says. She bends down and picks up a tiny little dog that has bows in its hair. “Sometimes the things we need show up when we’re ready for them.”
“And maybe when you’re not,” I say, pointing to a large mutt who’s currently taking a leak against a wall.
“Oh shit.” She sets the little dog down on the floor. “Duty calls.” She blows me a kiss. “Have a good day, babe.”
One side of my mouth curls in a smile, and I head out toward the shop to get started on the day with Tim. On my way to the far corner of the property, I pass the storefront office where Arrow works.
I tap the glass lightly, and when he sees me, he waves me in.
“Hey, man,” I say. “You got a sec?”
Arrow motions for me to take a seat. “Plenty of seconds for you, man. What’s up?”
I explain to Arrow that I’m sorry the gig isn’t going to work out for me. We talk for a few about my worries, not wanting to work without a license when one could be required. How much I want to put my past behind me and not associate with people who scam for a living.
“Not you, man,” I say, making sure my meaning is clear. “You know what I mean, though. If you’d spent the time I did with the people I did—”
Arrow holds up a hand. “Man, I get it. I honestly thought it could go either way. You’d either be really good at blending in with the clients or marks, or it wouldn’t be a good fit. No skin off my nose either way, seriously.”
“We cool, then?” I ask, extending a hand.
He claps mine in his and echoes, “We’re cool.”
I’m getting up to leave when I have a thought. “Would you be down for me hiring you for something? I just need a little information.”
“You?” Arrow looks surprised. “What’re you looking for? An old girlfriend or cellmate or something?”
I shake my head. “Name’s James Sanderson. He’s Birdie’s father. She hasn’t seen him in years, and he shows up at her door this weekend, wanting a family reunion.”
“What’re you looking for? Financials, tax records?”
“Shit, no, man. Just an address. Maybe a phone number. I want to know what he wants from Birdie.”
He gives me a look. “She okay with you digging into her dad like that?”
I nod. “She asked me to.”
“Well, shit, then.” Arrow turns his monitor so it faces me. “You don’t need me, then. Everything you’re looking for is probably online. Look.”
He punches in some searches using the man’s name. We guess his approximate age, and he asks if I know anything else about him. Only two James Sandersons come up in the search. One is a kid, a twelve-year-old, who played in the Little League All-Star game, so we can rule that guy out.
The other one is a lawyer. There’s an address for the law firm he runs.
“Forty partners,” Arrow says, his eyes wide. “The dude makes bank. Founding partner of a firm this size?” He whistles through his teeth. “The guy may be a shit, but he’s a rich shit.”
Arrow sends a link to my phone with the address of the firm and a photo of James, Birdie’s dad. “That’s all you needed? That’s nothing. No charge.”
“Next time you feel like a cold one, it’s on me,” I tell him.
“I’ll hold you to that,” Arrow says.
As I head out, I’m not even surprised anymore that even Arrow, a guy who has nothing to gain from it, just Googled the information I needed.
I could have done that myself, but I didn’t even think about it.
This is the new world I’m living in, though.
I’ll catch up. I’ll figure shit out. But until then, it’s humbling and pretty fucking amazing that I have more help and support around me than I could ever have imagined.
Now it’s time to pay that shit forward.