Chapter 5 Annie
ANNIE
They’ve been in my room.
And they’ve fucking trashed it.
Any hope I had that this was a harmless prank fades away along with the last shreds of my courage. Maybe this isn’t the work of the same person sending me those notes. But something in my gut tells me that it is all related.
It has to be. Just has to be.
The reality hits me like a ton of bricks the moment I see everything I own wrecked.
The sour taste of sickness rises in my throat. This can’t be happening. I don’t believe it. But it’s real. Even though the proof is right in front of my eyes.
I have to face this. Whatever this is. But at least I took the first step in hiring Josh.
But I can’t stop myself from closing my eyes and turning around, ready to run.
“Shit. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” As soon as my face hits the smooth, hard muscles of Josh’s chest, I realize what I’ve done.
If I weren’t scared half out of my damn mind, I’d have wanted to spend a lot more time chest-to-chest with him.
Inappropriate, yes, but I can’t help it.
I would be back in my car driving the hell out of here already, but there’s a massive, tattooed wall standing between me and escape. My personal bodyguard-slash-PI is sweet, smart, and freaking sexy. But he’s also big. There’s no way I’m getting around him and running away until he lets me go.
“It’s all right. Just stay behind me.” His voice is a growl as he pushes me to his back.
I’m just relieved he seems totally unfazed by the fact that I practically launched myself into his arms. I don’t have time to be embarrassed.
I move out of the way and stand in the hallway as Josh shoves the door all the way open. I can’t very well run off while he walks headfirst into this, so I stand there, knees shaking and sweat breaking out on my forehead.
“Bathroom?” he whispers.
I nod and point to a closed door. When I first moved in, I was relieved that the rooms on the grad student floors had private bathrooms. Only the undergrads share showers and toilets. But now, all my excitement at the luxury fades to misery.
Someone could still be in my room.
But that doesn’t stop Josh.
“Wait here.” He walks softly into my room, stepping around the chaos that has unfolded in front of us.
My eyes sting with tears as I look at what’s been done.
Whoever did this, they ruined everything.
The mattress has been pulled off the bed. It hangs over the edge of the frame, sagging in defeat. My pillows have been shredded, even the pink faux-fur throw pillows that I hand-made. Clumps of pink fur have settled in piles of downy feathers.
It’s more than just a mess. It feels like a message.
The insides of everything I’ve loved are just gutted.
My closet door is open, and every top, skirt, and pair of pants has been pulled from the hangers and tossed on the floor. Every drawer hangs open like gaping mouths, my underwear, socks, and tanks scattered like confetti.
The books have not been tossed from my shelves, but I suspect that’s because that would have made too much noise. The books that I had on the built-in desk have pages torn out and crumpled.
The few posters, mostly inexpensive art prints I’d hung on the walls, have not just been torn down but ripped in half.
And all my art supplies—yarn, fabric, buttons—were dumped into a pile. It could take me days to sort through this mess. And even then, I might not be able to salvage anything.
Everything I own has been touched by some stranger. Someone who took the time to come into my private space and terrorize me.
My heart starts to thunder, and my knees go weak. I want to look behind me, make sure there’s no one there in the hallway, but Josh is saying my name.
“Annie? Come on.” His voice is steady, and he extends a hand to me. “Bathroom’s clear. It’s safe.”
I look at his tattooed forearm, the long fingers that beckon me to join him. I’m stuck in a fear spiral, not sure whether to run into my room, toward all the things that make my life mine, or run away.
Instead, I stay rooted in place.
I think I might be in shock.
Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I’ve never even seen a car accident. I don’t have any clue what the right thing to do is.
I shake my head as fear and the very beginnings of anger start to burn in my belly. “I can’t,” I say, squinting. “I can’t…”
“Annie.” Josh has crossed the floor, stepping as carefully as he can around the piles of my belongings.
I try not to notice the bras and boy briefs lying right there in the open for anyone to see. I swallow back a sob.
“Annie.” Josh is close now. He offers me his tattoo-covered hand. “I need you to come inside, please. We need to see if anything was taken or if the place was just torn up. You’re safe with me. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I promise.”
I look down at the hand he’s holding out to me again, willing myself to accept his help.
To trust him. My palms break out in an immediate sweat, but I take his tattooed hand.
I take one step inside the room, and Josh reaches past me to close the door.
I sway a little bit on my feet, and the next thing I know, his hands are around my arms.
Holding me up. Supporting me.
“Hey,” he says, dipping his chin to look into my eyes. “Hey, hey, Annie. Look at me, okay? Stay with me.”
I give him a weak smile and look into his deep blue eyes. “I’m not going to faint,” I tell him. “At least, I don’t think so.”
“Good,” he says, his voice reassuring and smooth. He sounds relieved, but there’s something in his tone that’s encouraging in a way that makes the tiny hairs on my arms stand up. “That’s good, Annie.”
The praise in his voice makes me feel a confusing mix of reactions. It’s completely the wrong time and totally the wrong place to feel anything for my bodyguard, but the way he croons at me, it’s hard not to imagine him calling me a good girl in a very, very different situation.
I nod, trying to brush away the traitorous thoughts about Josh. “So, what…what do I do? I mean, it’s all ruined. Everything I own.”
His face looks grim, and a shadow passes over his handsome face.
“Fuck, Annie. I’m sorry. Can you look through what’s here?
Can you tell if anything is missing? Just don’t move or touch anything.
We’re going to need to call the police in a minute.
They’ll want to know if anything was stolen or if this is something else. ”
I should have known that’s what he’d say. And I know it’s stupid, but the thought of calling the police is the thing that makes all of this real. I drop my backpack and cover my face with my hands just as the tears start to fall.
“Tell me it’s a coincidence.” I wipe the tears from my face, but I don’t know how I’m going to pull it together. Where to go from here? I mean, my God. I can’t sleep here tonight. But I also can’t go to my father’s.
My thoughts must be plainly readable on my face because Josh is close to me again, his hands on my arms. “Hey,” he says. “One step at a time. One minute at a time. You got this.”
But I don’t got this. I literally don’t have anything. Not anymore. And definitely not the feeling of safety I used to have.
I stand there quietly, absorbing the calming strength that his touch brings. I’m grateful for it. I need it. Even if it makes me feel weak to need it. Isn’t this exactly what I hired him for, though?
It’s okay, I tell myself. He’s doing his job. He probably hugs weeping women every day. This is just that. Nothing more.
I take a few steady breaths when a sharp knock at the door has me leaping out of my flip-flops and straight at Josh.
“What the fuck,” I blurt out. My heart starts rattling in my chest in time with my irrational thoughts.
They’re back. Whoever did this is here. They’re back.
I know then that I don’t have what it takes to be a fighter.
In a fight-or-flight situation, I’m more likely to grow wings and freaking fly than open that door and fight back.
I hate that about myself. It’s not the kind of thing anyone wants to believe, but it becomes clear what kind of man Josh is when he laces his fingers through mine and tugs me so I’m standing behind him.
“Who’s there?” he barks.
“Who the hell is in there? Annie Hannie? You okay?”
I place a hand on Josh’s back as relief washes over me for a moment. “It’s my RA,” I tell him, my voice shaking. “Resident adviser. She supervises the floor. She’s like a peer counselor.”
“You want her here?” he whispers. “I can tell her to bug off.”
“No, let her in. She’s going to have to find out about this anyway.” I squeeze his hand and then release him, immediately missing the comforting heat from his touch.
He nods once and turns the knob, opening the door to Neveah.
“Who the hell might you be?” She’s glaring at him, and I can see her trying to peer around him to look for me. “Annie?” she calls out. “Hey, babe, you okay?”
I peek around Josh and see Neveah’s Mama Bear grimace.
This has got to look bad. A man she’s never seen or heard of before hiding me behind him and my room looking like something out of a horror film—minus the blood.
My stomach does a gnarly flip just thinking about blood and what might have happened if I’d been in my room when whoever did this was here.
I don’t know if it’s adrenaline or stress or me just being out of my mind at the moment, but I push myself forward and step under Josh’s arm. He looks surprised for a second, but then he just goes with it. He curls an arm over my shoulders protectively and holds me close to his side.
“I’m right here,” I tell her weakly. “And I’m fine.” I smile up at Josh, whose eyes haven’t left my RA’s face. “Neveah, this is Josh.”