Chapter 10 Arrow
ARROW
“I’ve been meaning to ask, why do they call you Arrow?”
Annie and I are eating burgers and fries in the bed of my truck, watching the sun set over the compound. I don’t think I’ve ever had a more romantic night, which says a lot about my recent dating life.
I grin as I dip my burger in a little to-go cup of ketchup.
“Aronowicz is a fucking mouthful,” I tell her.
“And when all my friends were getting into drugs and petty criminal shit, taking on street names like Cobra and Slash, the last thing I wanted was to be called Josh.” I chuckle.
“It was kind of a play on words. Straight as an arrow. I hung with some rough kids, but I kept my nose clean.”
“Is that how you ended up a PI?” Annie’s sitting cross-legged, her maxi dress tucked around her knees.
Her hair is loose, and the rosy-gold light of the setting sun lights up her eyes and smile.
She’s fucking gorgeous even with a mouthful of hand-cut fries and a smudge of mustard on the corner of her mouth.
She licks it away and then continues, “Hanging with the bad kids?”
“Pretty much. I wasn’t involved in their shit, but I was no rat. I ended up being the kid everybody else called when they got wasted and were stuck someplace. I think I bailed out my first buddy before I could even drive.”
Annie frowns at that. “What about your parents?” she asks. “How did you have money for bail?”
I suck in a breath through my nose and sigh.
“I had a shit family,” I admit. “No other way to slice it. I had an old man who left after I was born, and Mom was…” I shrug.
“Short version is I grew up fast. I was working for cash in local diners, doing dishes and hauling boxes. Anything anybody would pay me to do, I did. I met a lot of shitheads doing work like that. I knew I couldn’t get into trouble.
I was one wrong look away from my ma kicking my ass to the curb or getting myself thrown in a group home.
” I pause to take a sip of my Coke and another bite of my burger.
Annie’s face looks troubled, and she shifts her weight a little like she’s trying to get comfortable, but she ends up scooting a little closer to me.
“So that’s that,” I say. “I’ve pretty much raised myself since I was twelve.
I kept out of trouble, saved my money, and ran with a crowd of people who were in similar circumstances.
When the time came to move out of my ma’s house, I knew there was no college in my future.
And I didn’t have white-collar aspirations.
I like being out on the streets, doing shit. Making things happen.”
“But, Josh,” she says, sounding sad. “What about, like, holidays, love, and family? Did you have girlfriends who took you in?”
I nod. “Sometimes, yeah. And don’t get me wrong.
I have friends. I just spent a lot of time around people who had lives as rough or even worse than I had it.
When we all got older and guys I’d known since I was fourteen got busted for harder shit, real crimes, I looked into how to make a living doing what I was basically already doing for free.
” I polish off my meal and stuff my trash in the takeout bag.
“Thought about becoming a lawyer for a while,” I admit, surprised that I am sharing this with her.
I lower my voice, a weird mix of embarrassment and pride tightening my gut.
“That’s something I’ve never told anyone before. ”
“Yeah?” She’s stopped eating, holding the burger in her hand and her eyes wide. “What stopped you?”
I rub my fingers together in the universal sign for money.
“I had no way to pay for college, so making it all the way through law school seemed impossible. I didn’t want to be a cop,” I say.
“No disrespect to the boys in blue, but…” I shrug.
“I never wanted to cuff the bad guys. I could relate to them, and I thought I’d be helping if I made it possible for them to get another chance. ”
She swallows, and I watch the long column of her pretty throat as the last shadows darken into night around us.
“For a while, I was a bond agent. Making sure guys showed up to their court appearances, fulfilled their duty. It was a way I could use the trust I had from guys like me who’d gone the wrong way to help them either stay out of prison, or, if that was what was in the cards, I made sure they didn’t become fugitives.
But that’s rough work, and the pay—” I don’t really want to go into the subject of money at the moment, considering the fact that I’m hurting for it and Annie doesn’t exactly have a trust fund either.
“So, I moved into PI work a year ago. I chase a lot of cheating spouses and insurance fraud cases, but it’s a living. ”
She looks troubled, and I want to kiss the frown that pulls on her lips. “What’s your dream, Josh? If you could do anything, education and money not being in the way, what would you do?”
That’s a question I haven’t thought about for a long, long time. I take a minute to really consider it.
“I want a family,” I tell her. “You know when those guys were calling you old lady? That’s what the bikers call their wives.
Their bitches, their old ladies, their women.
Talk like that doesn’t fly in every circle, but here?
” I motion toward the compound, now bathed in darkness.
A few lights reflect in the windows, but most of the building is dark.
“I’d like that. Guys who are like brothers to me.
Guys who I can call in good times. Not just in bad.
An old lady to come home to. I don’t really give a shit what I do for work.
I work hard, and I want to make money and support myself.
I never want to lean on anybody else. But how I earn it?
” I shrug. “I could be a butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker. I don’t give a fuck.
It’s what I come home to after doing that shit all day that matters. ”
Annie is quiet. Not chewing, not smiling. Just thinking.
“Thank you for being honest,” she says. “I’m glad to know the real you. Not just the answers you think a client would want to hear.”
“You’re not exactly a client, babe,” I say, trying to lighten the mood.
“And all that shit I said doesn’t mean I won’t tear a new asshole in the fucknut who’s been sending these letters when we find out who’s doing this.
Just because I said I don’t care what I do doesn’t mean I don’t care about the work I am doing. ”
“Oh no, I get that.” Annie quietly rolls her trash into a ball and tucks it neatly into the carryout bag. “And thank you. I don’t know what I would be doing right now without you.”
I reach out my hand and snag her trash, then step onto the bumper and over the side of the truck. I take her hand and help her over the side, then lace my fingers through hers. “Is now a good time to tell me about your dad?” I ask. “Why won’t you go home, Annie?”
She sighs as we head toward the compound hand in hand. It doesn’t feel like an act. It feels so natural. Like this is how it always has been. Always will be. It’s a feeling that I don’t want to end.
“Well, like I told you, Dad’s been struggling over the last year.
I thought maybe he was hiding a health issue or something.
He broke up with Cathy. Started spending a lot more time at the office.
Just generally seemed different, if you know what I mean.
And then this summer, things got really weird.
He sent me off to school on short notice.
Basically, he pushed me out of working for him. ”
She swings our hands lightly and I have to tuck the trash under my arm so I can dig in my pocket for the keys to the compound. There’s no way I’m letting her go.
“It may sound weird, but I feel like Dad has something big going on, and I guess maybe I’m afraid,” she admits.
“If Dad has cancer or something really serious, God, I just… I’m only twenty-five, Josh.
I lost my mom so young. I’m not ready to face losing him.
I want to be there for him, of course, but he doesn’t want that right now.
He’s made it clear he wants some distance, if anything.
Maybe he’s trying to get me ready for the day he won’t be here.
Giving me a chance to figure out my life and my art.
So that when the day comes that I wake up and I’m all alone in this world, I didn’t waste the opportunities he gave me.
Even if part of the cost for that means us spending a little less time together. ”
I unlock the door, let Annie through, then lock the dead bolt behind us. Finding the trashcan in the kitchen, I ditch our carryout, then turn to face her.
“You’ll never be alone, Annie.” It’s not a vow or a promise. It’s a fact. “You’re beautiful and so damn sweet. You’re light, pure light. Maybe your father knows he can’t be everything you need in your life. Maybe he wants to give you time to shine.”
She nods, but she looks so lost and sad, I want to lift her face and kiss her until she feels nothing but bliss. Nothing but me.
But that’s not cool. I don’t know how far I think I can take this fake-dating situation, but I’d better put some distance between us because I’m in danger with Annie Hancock. I’m in danger of falling.
“Think the showers are gross?” she asks, a small smile on her face. “I’d love to clean up before bed.”
“I think we should find out,” I say.