Chapter 40 Quinn #2
“I want to give you everything you want and need, not because you can’t provide for yourself but because making sure you’re cared for gives me a sense of purpose. So I have a few things for you, to remind you how well I know you.”
Asher turned and left the room, heading toward the garage. Noah headed off toward the kitchen, and Will stepped forward, bringing something from behind his back.
“Your favorite flowers.” Will flourished his free hand in front of the bouquet of yellow lilies.
“They aren’t from him, just to be clear,” Theo said with a smile while Oli moved forward and showed me his phone.
It was a picture of the garden behind the house but there had been an addition.
Hanging in the tree was a large hummingbird feeder.
“So you can always see your favorite animal.” I looked up at Theo instead of the phone.
“Do you think I can be bought?” I asked it only because I didn’t want to give in too quickly. And I needed something, anything, to grasp onto.
“No, but I want you to know that I’ll remind you every day how well I know you, how much you mean to me. I’ll remind you every day how much I love you.” He took a step forward and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear, making my breath hitch. It was so natural for him, I’d missed it so much.
“Look at me quickly please, it’s fucking cold. I got the worst job,” Noah complained as he came into the room. I let out a laugh. He was carrying five ice cream containers. “There’s more in the freezer but my hands can only carry so much.”
“I promise to always have a freezer full of mint chocolate chip ice cream. I will continue to grumble about it but eat it right alongside you because of how much you love the stuff. I do, however, fully intend to show you how wrong you are when we travel the world. We’ll make our first stop Italy for the gelato and of course to see your mum. ”
“I’m putting these back,” Noah muttered as he walked quickly from the room.
Jaxson came forward next, also handing me his phone. “These are the flight plans for Italy, we can schedule take off with the plane whenever you’re ready.” He winked and took a step back with the rest of the guys.
“Theo…”
“I’ve been going crazy without you. I miss waking up with you next to me in bed, I miss you cooking breakfast in my kitchen and coming home to you singing off key as you burn food.
I miss sitting outside with you at night and having a stupid group chat with my friends that never shuts off.
I miss having your hair products scattered around my bathroom and your perfume on the counter.
“I miss telling you that I love you as you nuzzle into my chest at night. I miss everything about you. I love you so much I can’t think straight sometimes.
I know I messed up. I saw a problem that put you at risk and I acted without thinking.
And since we’re being honest sometimes it scares me how much I care about you.
I let the fear of losing you cloud my judgement.
I promise I won’t make a decision about your safety without talking it out with you first.”
“Dude, not inspiring much confidence,” Oli muttered as he shoved Theo’s shoulder, but I could see Oli trying to hide a smile.
Theo rolled his eyes at his friends and looked back at me. “I will always be honest with you. I want to take care of you, and love you, and I want my family to be yours. I want everything with you.”
I took a breath and then shook my head at him.
“Not good enough.” I took a step back as he reached for me, but his hand froze midair when I smiled a little.
“Oli was right, you aren’t inspiring confidence.
You can’t do anything like this again. Someone will always be able to use the people you care about against you but you can’t let them.
If we do this, you have to trust that we can get through things together. ”
He nodded seriously. “You’re the most important thing in my life, my instinct will always be to put you first, to protect you first. But I can work on it.”
“A little better,” Jaxson said with a smirk.
“Now, if I haven’t convinced you yet that I’m sorry and I love you and that you should come home…” Him calling this my home settled something in my chest. “I have one more thing.” He tilted his chin and I turned to see Asher walking into the room.
“Oh my god.” I gasped and moved over to Asher quickly, well more specifically to the puppy he was holding in his arms. “Hi,” I crooned as I reached out to scratch it behind the ears.
He started licking my hand, his tail wagging, his body wiggling in Asher’s arms. He passed me the puppy and I took him eagerly. I let out a laugh as he licked my face, letting out a little yap of excitement.
He had the most beautiful coloring, his body was black but all four of his legs were tan, so were the tips of his ears that were currently folded in half. His paws were too big for his little body.
“This is our new German Shepard, he’s eight weeks old.
Asher and Jaxson had the breeder investigated, they were very reputable and this little man is very smart.
I got him this morning and he can already sit.
” I turned with the sweet puppy in my arms, who was happily licking my chin to see Theo looking at the dog like a proud dad.
“You bought a puppy.”
“I bought us a puppy,” he clarified. “I’m thinking since you don’t have an apartment anymore that you can live here.”
“You bought the puppy as a bribe to get me to move in?”
“No, I got one because I love dogs and I know you do too. I believe you once said that the yard would be perfect for one.”
“And what if I say no? Do I still get the puppy?”
Theo smirked at my question. “No, Love. Take us both or leave us both.”
I was dragging this out, I’d already made my decision before even walking in here, but he needed to grovel appropriately.
“Can we discuss shared custody?”
Will coughed to cover up his laugh.
“No.”
“This seems like you making decisions for me again.” I raised an eyebrow at him, but he stayed relaxed like he knew this was a negotiation he could win.
“You’re right, I can return the dog and we can discuss this together when you’re ready.” He took a step toward me but I turned my body to shield the dog from him. His face broke out into a soft smile. “Baby, I’m going to need you to pass the puppy back to Ash.”
“I don’t want to.” I kissed the little guy on the head.
“Please.” He took another step toward me. “He’s just going to put him in the yard.” I hesitated for a few seconds before I passed the puppy back to Asher. He nodded at me, and then he and everyone else left the room, closing the patio door behind them.
“You better not take that dog away from me, Theodore Knight.” I poked him in the chest, but he grabbed my finger before I could pull away.
“I’m sorry, Quinn, for handling things the way I did.
” I looked up to meet his eyes, they were shining with intensity as he linked our hands.
“I saw something that threatened you and I couldn’t think straight.
All I knew was that I had to find a way to stop your father’s shit from hitting you and while I did that, I needed my father to think I was doing what he wanted. ”
“You hurt me, Theo.”
He nodded solemnly. “I know I did. It wasn’t just my father’s threats, I also got in my head when I decided I needed to walk away. I started thinking that maybe it was for the best, because I was scared.”
“You were scared of me?” I asked, frowning.
“No, I was scared of how much I loved you. About what it would feel like if I lost you, how much that would destroy me. The accident reminded me how fragile life is. I thought if I cut it off now it would hurt less than something happening to you in the future. I almost didn’t survive losing my mum, I couldn’t bear the thought of losing a love like yours that tragically.
It was some dumb idea of self-preservation that I came up with when my feelings got too much. ”
I softened at his words but kept close watch of his face. “And now you’re not scared?”
He shook his head slowly. “No. I still am, but now I know it doesn’t matter because I’ve realized my love for you is bigger than my fear.
I was miserable without you, it doesn’t matter if I get another month, or year, or decade.
Any amount of time with you is better than being without you for even a second more. ”
I closed my eyes for a moment as his words settled over me. My heart was racing, a fluttering in my stomach. He was saying the words, but I also felt his love through his actions that Noah highlighted for me.
In how he always watched me to make sure I was comfortable, how he always wanted to be touching me, how he took care of me without a thought for what he needed.
“I still have some questions. I need it all out in the open so if I decide to let it go I can do that without any doubt that you’re hiding something.”
Hope sparked in his eyes at my words and his hand tightened slightly in mine. “I’m an open book. Ask me anything.”
“Why did your father even want you to break up with me?”
I watched as he shrugged. “Not sure. He didn’t like that I’d become more successful than him.
My business is solid, he couldn’t touch it.
But he was always trying to prove something.
Always trying to force me into a competition I didn’t know about.
I’m sure he also hated that I was happy, that I found love.
He may have been married but he didn’t love his wife, he always seemed to search for something better.
He wanted me to suffer and the only way he thought he could do that was through you. ”
“Well, at least we can commiserate over the fact that both our fathers were terrible.” He didn’t laugh at my joke, instead just nodded.
“I’m sorry, Love.” He tucked another piece of hair behind my ear.
“You’ve said that already, a number of times,” I whispered.