Uniform
B ecca stood in her entry, her gaze taking in the sight.
“How?” she asked.
“Surprise,” Tessman said.
“Shepherd hired someone.”
Her entire house had been picked up, cleaned, righted.
“You may not be able to find anything as I’m sure they didn’t put things away where you had them, but it’s all off the ground,” Tessman said.
Tears pricked her eyes, happy, thankful tears.
“I can’t believe he did this. I’ll never be able to thank him enough.”
“Well, Angel may have had a hand in it too,” Jackson said, stepping in behind them.
“Your wife is a total sweetheart,” Becca said.
“Red or white?”
“Excuse me?” Jackson asked.
“Wine, red or white? I want to get her a bottle or two as a thank you for everything she’s done to help me,” Becca said.
“Red. She’ll only accept it if you come to our house and enjoy it with her,” Jackson said.
“I’d like that very much,” Becca replied.
“What did you want to get?” Tessman asked attempting to prompt her into moving past the entry.
“Clothes, upstairs,” she said.
“Is it okay to go up?” She nodded to the stairs.
Tessman drew his weapon.
“Let me check it out first,” he said.
“Stay here with Jackson.”
She watched him mount the stairs.
Waiting at the foot of the stairs, she kept her eyes trained on the hallway upstairs until he came back into view.
“It’s clear. Come on up.”
The upstairs was similarly righted.
Becca grabbed a tote bag from the closet, taking in all the clothes that were now neatly hung.
“A woman must have been involved in cleaning the mess up,” Becca said after she’d opened and closed several drawers, pulling clothes out and putting them into the tote bag.
“Why do you say that?” Tessman asked.
“Just the thought put into what is in each drawer and the fact that everything is folded or hung so neatly,” she said.
“I’ll have you know I fold and hang clothes very neatly, too,” Tessman said jokingly.
“It’s not just a female trait.”
Becca smiled at that.
“I’ll reserve judgement on that one until I see your place and the condition the closet and dresser drawers are in.”
Tessman glanced back at the door.
Jackson was downstairs.
She still faced the dresser, searching the drawers and pulling more items of clothing out.
He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
“So, you would like to see inside my drawers, huh?”
She chuckled.
“Oh, I’ve seen what’s in your drawers.” Her tone was as light and flirty as his.
“And you’d like to see more?”
Becca folded the T-shirt in her hands and slipped it into the bag before she turned to face him.
She set the bag onto the floor and then wrapped both of her arms around his neck.
“Yes, I’d like to see more. I’d really like to get to know you better during normal life.”
“Normal life?” he repeated.
“Well, during my normal life when I’m not being protected, when I won’t need to be.” And that was when it occurred to her.
“But this is your normal life, isn’t it?”
Tessman felt her go rigid in his arms. “If you’re talking about missions, yes. Protecting people, occasionally. That’s the job I do, who I am. I’m also someone who finds you incredibly intelligent, beautiful, and sexy. I love that you care so deeply about people, and that you have a strong sense of right and wrong. One of the core values of a Marine is Spiritus Invictus, which means unconquerable spirit. You have that. It’s one of the many reasons I’m so attracted to you. And I do want to get to know you better no matter what my job is. But you have to understand, my job is who I am, Becca. There’s always going to be missions and deployments. That’s part of the deal but I hope you’ll find me interesting enough to deal with it.”
“I never would have set out to get involved with someone who does the job you do. But now that I’ve gotten to know you, I can’t imagine you not being in my life. When we’re holding each other, I feel like me again, not the person I’ve been since Nicole and her family were killed.” She paused for a moment and reflected on what she’d just said.
She sounded selfish to herself.
“I like the person you are, your attitude towards things. You have this calm way about you, even during really intense or scary moments. It’s like nothing fazes you and I find that a very attractive quality. So, yes, I find you interesting enough to accept the job you do to have you in my life.”
“How much longer you going to be?” Jackson yelled up the stairs.
He still stood in the entry.
“Just a minute or two,” Tessman replied, yelling towards the open door.
Then he pressed a soft kiss to her lips.
“We will finish this conversation later.”
***
Later that evening, Becca was alone in the apartment on the ninth floor.
Carter had gone to pick up dinner for the two of them at a restaurant, insisting on treating her to a meal that wasn’t leftovers.
She checked her work email.
There was a message from Brad, one of the partners.
Carl, the other partner was copied in.
The subject was Employment Termination.
A part of her didn’t even want to open it and read it.
She wasn’t even sure how she felt about it.
A very odd, unnerving feeling settled over her.
She didn’t feel sad, but she didn’t feel excited either.
She would be free to pursue the next professional chapter of her life.
Wasn’t that what she wanted?
Was it going to be as a divorce attorney specializing in domestic violence cases?
She wasn’t sure. She reminded herself that she didn’t need to plan the rest of her career out now.
That should have brought her peace.
It didn’t.
Reluctantly, she opened the email.
Rebecca,
Carl and I have discussed your situation at length.
And while we both sympathize with how difficult this must be for you, and we applaud your attempt to strike a balance between the personal circumstances you are in that demand your attention and the work you do for the firm, we cannot continue to extend the part-time, remote work arrangement you’ve been granted that has gone on longer than any of us would have foreseen.
Although I know of no specific incidents that you failed to meet a deadline, our clients deserve better representation and service.
It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that we require you return to a normal schedule in the office or we will regretfully accept your resignation.
Carl and I will continue to pay you your full salary and extend your health benefits for six weeks as a severance package.
You will of course have the option to extend your health benefits with CObrA coverage after that time period if you would like to.
Best wishes,
Brad
Well, that was that.
She had no intention of going back into the office full-time for any reason, not that she could right now, anyway.
When Carter returned fifteen minutes later with a takeout bag that smelled incredibly good, that unsettled feeling she’d had, had shifted to a sense of autonomy.
For the first time in her adult life, she owed nothing to anyone.
This made her feel light, almost carefree.
Tessman noticed something different in her mood as he unpacked the two containers and popped the lids from them.
He set them on the table and then placed a fork and steak knife he’d borrowed from the kitchen on the fifth floor beside each container.
Becca poured each of them a glass of wine.
“That smells divine,” she said, handing him one of the wine glasses.
She raised her glass between them.
“Join me in a toast?”
“Sure, what are we toasting?”
“My free market status. I heard back from the partners. I no longer have a job.” She tapped his glass and then took a healthy drink, savoring the flavor in the red blend.
“Is this a moment where I’m supposed to say I’m sorry or congratulations?”
“I’m not sure,” she replied.
“I think congratulations. I had no intention of ever returning to the office full-time. I feel strangely okay with this.”
Tessman grinned.
“Well then, congratulations.”
“I’ve never had a steak dinner to go,” she said, changing the subject.
In the container in front of her was a perfectly grilled fillet, a loaded baked potato, and a side of asparagus also grilled and seasoned.
“I eat a lot of my meals to go,” he said.
“Of course, I don’t keep the most regular hours.” He paused and chuckled at himself.
The truth was, like many single guys, he didn’t eat regular meals most of the time either.
“Angel caters from them occasionally. That’s how I found out about them. I think they catered Angel and Jackson’s wedding.”
“Really?” she asked.
“Did you go to it? Their wedding?”
“Yeah, the whole team did. It was here at the office. They were married in the rec room,” Tessman said.
“Shepherd walked her down the aisle and Lambchop, our team pastor, performed the ceremony.”
“Lambchop, I’ve heard that name. He’s Michaela’s husband, isn’t he?”
“Yes, he’s been deployed on a mission. You haven’t met him yet. He’s a force, a hell of a SEAL and a hell of a good guy. We were all happy for him and Michaela when they finally got together. It had been a long time coming.”
“I don’t understand,” Becca admitted.
“There is an anti-fraternization clause in all our contracts. Jackson was the first to break it with Angel. About a half-dozen others did too before Lambchop and Michaela broke it. I know neither of them wanted to let Shepherd down by disobeying any of the rules. And any of them that did, could have gotten fired for it.”
“Why do you think no one did?”
“Because they’ve all kept their relationships separate and haven’t let it interfere with work. I’ve operated with Cooper and his wife, Madison, before, and you’d never guess they were married when you’re in the field. Even when the shooting starts, they keep it professional. I heard that on an Op once, they both took rounds to their vests and that was the only time they held hands and anyone saw a glimmer of the personal relationship they have.”
Becca was shocked to hear his statement.
Shooting? Shot in their vests?
She’d met Madison. And although she’d been impressed with how competent Madison had seemed, she couldn’t imagine her rescuing her in the closet as Carter had.
“So Madison is a full member of the team, just like you and Jackson, I mean, she does the same dangerous job?”
Tessman chuckled.
“Women are just as capable as men, you know, at least the women at Shepherd Security. Briana’s just completed her Operator training. She’s only been with us a few months.”
“Yes, I remember you telling me that Madison is Briana’s Supervisory and Training Officer, that she used to be a captain in the Army. I guess I didn’t put two and two together that she does exactly what you do.”
“She does,” he confirmed.
“I’d trust her with my life.”
Becca let that sink in.
She nodded. Then she took a bite of her potato, followed by one of her steak.
The food was still hot and cooked to perfection.
“Oh, my God, this is so good.”
Tessman smiled a satisfied grin.
He’d wanted to treat her to something good.
She’d eaten the leftovers and hadn’t complained about anything.
“Yeah, it’s my go-to place when I want a good steak.”
They ate their meals and exchanged small talk mostly about food likes and dislikes.
Tessman’s thoughts were on bedtime and what the sleeping arrangements would be, as well as if there’d be any extra-curricular activities.
He didn’t want to assume that just because they’d had sex, that they would continue to have it every time they had the opportunity.
Tessman refilled their wine glasses and cleared his throat.
“So, back to the conversation we were having at your place, earlier. Becca, I’ve never really been what anyone would call relationship material. This job is hard on relationships, but I want to try, when you’re ready, that is. I know you’ve been through a lot and probably need some time to figure out your own life and where your head is.”
Becca was impressed with him and his directness, a quality she admired and always tried to conduct herself with.
“Yes, you’re right about that, but as I said earlier, I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Would you say it’s the job that makes you say you’re not relationship material or is it something else?”
Tessman took a drink of the wine, to stall.
“Good question. I think the job has made it easy for me to not have to explore it at all. It’s a hard job that makes a person disconnect from their emotions. It’s been easy for me to keep that detachment. But I feel very attached to you, and I want to see where this can go. I want to be there to support you as you figure out your new normal and as you heal from the emotional toll this has had to have taken on you. But I’ll be doing that while deployed on missions. I’ve never had a long-distance relationship before. I’ve watched my teammates do it, some making it look effortless, some struggling. My best friend recently got into a relationship. She’s living with him now and they got engaged really quickly. I didn’t understand it until now. They know they want each other in their lives and when he’s home, want to spend every second together because time is precious and limited. And there’s a kid involved, not his, but he feels responsible for her. I guess what I’m saying is, it can be done. Honestly, I think one thing that has stopped me in the past, besides the fact that I didn’t meet anyone who I spent enough time with to feel attached to them, is that I haven’t wanted to get into a relationship that would fail because of my job.”
“If we’re being honest with each other, I’ve kind of sucked at relationships. I’ve spent a great deal of time in school to become a lawyer and that had to come first. Not many guys understood that and were okay with taking a back seat to my education and then career. And since I’ve passed the bar, my billable hours have been higher than any of the other associates at the firm. Add in the commute downtown and it hasn’t left much time for a relationship.”
“Sounds like the guys you’ve been involved with are the ones who suck at relationships. I’m sure you were honest about your commitments.”
She nodded, again impressed with him.
“Yes, very honest. But I plan to have a much different approach to my career now, whatever career that turns out to be.”
“And you don’t have to figure that out yet. Get through this first then see what interests you,” he said.
“I’m sure you can do a lot as a lawyer.”
“Yes, there are a lot of different types of law to practice. In the short term, I’m happy to help Briana’s client. Who knows, maybe I’ll help a few more before I decide on what my future should be. It could be this. I don’t know.”
“I think that’s a good approach. Keep the pressure off yourself. You don’t need any pressure right now.”
Tessman cut the last two bites of his steak apart and then ate them.
He noticed she’d polished her entire meal off as well.
He liked a woman who ate a full meal.
A lot of the women he’d been with ate salads or left half their plate untouched.
A woman starving herself or denying herself good food was not attractive to him.
But in the past, with sex partners anyway, it hadn’t mattered to him.
He’d known none of those trysts would form into relationships and any traits she had besides her sexual openness were irrelevant.
He’d never voiced that thought to anyone, not even Wilson as he’d sound very shallow, which maybe he had been.
“And now that I know I have no job, honestly, I don’t feel any pressure. It’s strangely freeing. I will have to go into the office soon though and get my things that are in my office. I haven’t replied to the partners yet to confirm that I won’t be back. They left it open so that if I could return to a regular full-time, in-person presence in the office that I could keep my job. But even if this was resolved, I wouldn’t do that, no longer interested.”
“It’s good you know that.”
“Yeah, that job was a good fit for me once but I’ve outgrown it. Spending sixty plus hours a week in that office no longer suits me. Not when I know I can work from home and accomplish the same tasks, probably more in the allotted time. I may still do some estate planning, but I don’t want to coast doing easy, boring work any longer.”
“Again, good you know that. And even better that you have the means to take some time off and decide what you want to do after all this is over, in your own time.”
“Yes,” she agreed, taking the last drink of her wine.
“Would you like another glass?” he offered.
“No, I think I’d just like to take a hot shower and then put my pajamas on and lie in bed watching a funny movie for a few hours before I fall asleep. I’d like it if you’d join me.”
“I’d like that too,” he said, knowing she’d pretty much set the expectations of behavior for the evening in that statement.