Operation: Unify (Wayside Ranch #7)

Chapter 1

Chapter One

T he television had acted as Lacy’s best friend for the last week, even though she usually hated the thing. Any other time in her life, she would’ve gone to Connor and told him what was going on in her mind and heart. He’d tease her, give her a hug, and the world would be a little closer to right again.

When she’d been held against her will in Cheyenne at the home of a human trafficker, the Holy Spirit had plainly told her she still loved Connor and she had to try to get him back, but the only way to make him realize he actually needed her and loved her, was to walk away.

More specifically, she had to walk away in order to return. His mother had left and never showed him a stitch of love from that point on. When he’d retired from the military after ten years of service and the darkness in his soul couldn’t be quenched, he’d divorced her because he been sure he’d done what she would’ve wanted anyway, only the way he’d done it, he didn’t have to face her walking away. Teddy had known that and insisted she stay. He’d even gone so far as to say that she would stay, or Connor could go.

Now, years later, he still hadn’t healed. The only way to make him see that she wouldn’t treat him like his mom and leave for good, was to go and then return. She had to show him that people who love you, really love you, come back. Even when his father had left the month before to do his own second chance mission, Connor had struggled with feeling abandoned and didn’t know how to express himself. He’d been argumentative and distant in dealing with his hurt. He needed to learn forgiveness and love, and she was the one God had chosen to help him.

She’d promised to fulfill her duties and train Ferd to take her place, but with Christmas a week away, she wasn’t sure where she would go if Connor didn’t do as the Lord said he would. Humans still had free will and she was lying in the bed she’d made. She’d told Connor, under no circumstances was he to try to win her back. They were done. They’d had their chance. Now she regretted saying those things. Hindsight was clearly 20/20.

She closed her eyes and let the noise of the television drown out her thoughts for a minute. Her phone beeped, startling her from her distraction. She’d only told Connor that day that she was going to train Ferd and possible leave after that. Why would he be calling her already?

“Hello?” She waited to hear what his mood would be from the sound of his voice.

“Hey. I can’t stop thinking about what you said. You know that I have trouble with leaving. Is there anything I can do to make you want to stay?”

She didn’t want to leave in the first place. Her head screamed the words, love me. But that wasn’t enough. He’d loved her before and still divorced her. Even now, she knew he loved her, even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud. The trouble was, he didn’t believe his love was enough to cover his mistakes. He truly thought any small issue between them would result in her leaving as his mom had, and worse, hating him for it. He would keep feeling that way to combat his feeling of inadequacy. At least he’d let her stay after the divorce.

That had been the first clue that he hadn’t really stopped loving her.

“Honestly, I need some time away. Don’t you think it’s time we actually separated for a while?”

He went silent for the space of a few breaths. “Is there someone else or are you looking for someone else?”

Connor was good at hiding his hurt, it often came out sounding like anger or bitingly abrasive humor, but after being together for so many years, she knew the difference.

“No, Connor. It might surprise you to know I don’t know exactly what I want. That’s why I need to go and find out what is outside Wayside. I want to see what I can experience from life.”

“I see. Getting kidnapped and helping people heal from the worst victimization outside of murder isn’t enough out of life?” The edge to his voice was razor sharp, letting her know she’d cut him.

“Connor, stop.” She wasn’t going to let him prod her into staying. She’d known this was coming. He wasn’t manipulating as some would think because he would stop when she told him to. He was hurting. He loved her and was sure she’d never return. She was also sure that if he didn’t experience healing, and know without question that she would return, he’d never love her fully. Staying with him no matter what happened hadn’t taught him, so she had to leave and then return to let him see she wasn’t going to treat him like his mother had. She was different.

“Connor, I’ll be here through Christmas and probably into the new year. Training Ferd will take time.”

“You assume I want Ferd to do your job.” His defensiveness sprung to life.

“Is there someone else you had in mind?” She waited, knowing there wasn’t anyone else who could except for Gloria, who was too busy caring for Teddy after his gunshot wound. The only one who’d come close was Erica, Cole’s wife. She’d helped Lacy for a short time, but didn’t want the job now.

“No, but if I hired someone . . .”

“If you hired someone, I would have to wait to leave. I see through you, Connor.” She smiled, despite the pain that pierced her heart. She didn’t want to leave him. She didn’t want to hurt Connor and this would absolutely hurt him for a while.

“Would that really be so bad? You don’t want to be driving all over Wyoming in the weather around here in January, do you?” The sharpness to Connor’s voice told her he wasn’t looking for the answer to that particular question, but it would tell him what he wanted to know in other ways.

“Who said anything about staying in Wyoming?” She bit her lip. Even she didn’t know where she was supposed to go, only that she needed to be gone for a while.

“I see. So, there is no chance of getting you to stay. Will you be coming back?”

Here was the question the most difficult to answer. She fully intended to return, but would he believe that? His mother had never told him she would return, and she never had. But she couldn’t gut him and leave him with no hope, nor would she lie to him to prove a point. “Connor, this isn’t a permanent goodbye. I think deep down you know that.”

He sighed. “This is just so out of left field. If there was something I was supposed to have seen or done before you were taken, I’m sorry. If I missed a birthday or anniversary, or something, I’m sorry.”

Connor didn’t do desperation, but his words were coming mighty close. “Connor, you didn’t do anything wrong. This isn’t about you or anything you did or didn’t do. I need some time away.” And he needed her to go, even though he would disagree.

“Are you taking anyone with you?”

She bit her lip. Connor saw the evil in the world every single day. Going alone wasn’t a recipe for disaster, women traveled alone all the time, but of course he would worry.

“I hadn’t planned on it. I don’t have any friends outside of those here at Wayside, and they’re all married now.” She was the only outlier. Other than Victoria, all the other women were married or engaged, but Victoria was needed at Wayside, and she didn’t live on the ranch.

“I’ll be praying for your safety.”

“I’d like that.” And she knew she could count on him to do what he said he would. “I won’t be a stranger, either. You’ll hear from me. I’m not leaving to get away from you. You’re still my closest friend in the world, Connor. That won’t change.”

“Good. You know how I feel about change.” He laughed without any humor.

That was true, but he’d rather face the change of divorce than deal with change coming from anyone else. “I’m aware. I’ll keep you posted on Ferd’s progress.”

“Sounds good. Please tell me this isn’t some secret mission to get me to know my half-sister better.”

She laughed. “Guilty, but I think you’d get there on your own soon enough. You aren’t one to hold things against people when they have no control over them.”

“Thanks for that. I’m sure I’ll get used to the idea, but I’ve kept my brothers away for so long that I didn’t think I had room for siblings anymore. I suppose at some point, she’ll want to meet them too. Then I’ll have to face everything.”

“That’s true. Christmas Eve might be good. You could have them come over for a few hours. Scheduled. Tell them what’s up so they actually come.” She bit her lip, hoping she hadn’t pushed too hard.

“It’s a good idea. I’m just hesitant. I guess if I’m going to, I’d better decide today though, Christmas is almost here.”

“It is.” And this would be the first Christmas since Connor was deployed that she would feel separated from him, even though he might still be in the same room.

Lacy stared at the phone for a full minute after hanging up with Connor. Was this the right thing to do? The words refiner’s fire floated through her thoughts. There was no way that a refiner’s fire wouldn’t melt away the impurities. The process couldn’t be pleasant. She had to walk this path that might cause Connor some pain now so he wouldn’t have to hurt as badly later.

In the process, she would certainly get burned too.

Her phone rang once again, startling her. The phone never rang and all of a sudden it wasn’t leaving her alone. “Connor, what’s up?”

“Huh?” a semi-familiar voice said. “Who’s Connor?”

“Who is this?” Lacy’s heart took up a fast rhythm.

“I don’t blame you for not remembering. It’s been years. Look, Lacy, this is Melinda, from church.”

Melinda. Lacy hadn’t heard that name in almost a decade. “You haven’t been to church in a long time.”

“You’re the only friend from back then who still has the same phone number. Look, I’m in danger. I married a man I shouldn’t have, and I can’t get out. He won’t let me leave. I need you to get help for me. Please. I’m sending you a pin to my location, then I have to delete all of this off the phone, so he doesn’t know. Please, please help me.” The line went silent.

In the next instant, a text came through with a location, two states away in New Mexico. Who could she call who would believe her? Lacy pressed the saved phone number for Ferd. In two rings, the young woman answered. “Lacy?”

“Yeah, hey . . .” Where to begin? “We have a lot of work to do to get you up to speed.” Her mind whirred with ways to help Melinda. She could call the police in town, but if they did a well-check, would that make the situation worse?

“Yeah, I’ve been looking at the files in your office that you told me to. What you do is kind of a lot. Does Connor know about everything you do around here?”

Lacy laughed. “Not hardly, and I don’t want him to. Do you think you can handle the job? He told me we could hire someone else if you don’t want to do it.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he said it that way.” Ferd’s voice went completely deadpan. “I’m not sure why he sees me as some kind of threat. I’m not.”

“You’re just too much like him for him to deny you are who you say you are. It would be great if he could just accept you, but he isn’t that kind of guy.” And she was about to drop Ferd into the lion’s den. “I need to leave town quicker than I thought. Like, tonight.”

“What?” The word was so loud Lacy had to pull the phone from her ear.

“Yeah, I just got a call. An emergency. I have to go.” She stood up to start packing.

“Um, I don’t know how I’m going to do what you do. I guess I’m glad it’s right before Christmas and no one new will be coming for quite some time.”

Currently, Wayside was full and tending to those who were already living there. Most of their immediate needs had been met. If there was ever a time she could go freely, it was now.

“You know you can call me with any questions. I’m only a phone call away.” She tossed a few pairs of jeans in her bag, then closed her eyes. Was New Mexico warm at Christmastime? She had no idea.

“Thanks for warning me. If I’d gone to the cabin office tomorrow and you hadn’t been there, I would’ve freaked. This is just so sudden.”

“I like to prevent all things freak.” Lacy laughed and grabbed a few tees from a drawer.

“How long will you be gone?”

That was a good question. Truthfully, she should be able to go, watch the house of the address Melinda had given her until she found proof something weird was going on, take that to the police and let them do the hard stuff. A week. Tops.

“I’ll be back soon enough. I’m sure. Hopefully between Christmas and New Years if not before.”

“Good. Connor has been putting presents on the sofa in the living room for a week and I’m excited to be included this year. I was hoping you’d be there. I guess I’ll have to put up the tree.”

She wanted to be there too. Hopefully, a week would be enough to convince him that not only had she left, but that she was willingly returning. Then, she could tell him that she’d never stopped loving him. She picked up her wedding ring off her dresser. She still wore it most days. For this trip, she’d leave it home though. He had to feel the separation and seeing that ring would do it.

“I’ll talk to you soon. You can do this, Ferd.”

“Thanks, Lacy. I’ll be praying for you and whoever needs you so urgently.”

“Thank you.” She hung up the phone and bowed her head.

“Lord, I need you to comfort Connor this next week. Let him feel Your presence. Fill him with the assurance that I’ll return and that I want a relationship with him. Help him heal, Lord.”

She checked the temperatures in New Mexico and snorted. They probably thought it was cold there. She’d be fine with her flannel shirts and her leather jacket for cold days, if those happened. At the door, she paused, thinking about Connor and how she should tell him. They’d talked less than twenty minutes before, and she’d told him she wouldn’t be leaving until after the new year started. Things had changed so quickly.

She pressed his image in her phone, and it rang only once before he picked up. “Lacy? What’s up?”

“I just got a call from Melinda, from church. She needs my help for a few days. I’m headed to New Mexico. I’ve already let Ferd know.”

“You called Ferd before me?” His question was like ice water down her back. She’d always called him first. What was wrong with her?

“It wasn’t an intentional slight. I had just finished talking to you when Melinda called. So, I didn’t call you right back. I called Ferd because she is going to be doing my job.”

“If you’re sure she can.”

“I am.” Lacy unlocked her car door from up in her room then headed down to put her bag in the back seat. “Look, I’ll be as fast as I can, but I don’t know when I’ll be returning.”

“Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”

She desperately wanted to tell him that she loved him. She forgave him for divorcing her and forcing her to live through that pain. She forgave him for making her remain only a friend when she would’ve gladly been so much more. And she was sorry for building the wall of distrust between them because she was hurt.

“I’ll keep in touch.”

He remained silent for a minute. “Good. I want to know you make it there and that everything is okay. I’ll be worried about you. If anything happens, you know you can call me.”

She smiled at the fact that he’d said pretty much what she’d said to Ferd, and it was calming knowing he was there, maybe hours away, but he would answer. “Thanks. I won’t make you worry.”

“Too late for that.” He snorted. “Just do what you need to do and come back here, where you belong.”

Words clogged her throat. This was the man she loved with all her heart. The big teddy bear of a man who was both cuddly and protective. “I will. I promise.”