25
For my nineteenth birthday, my parents give me the professional Canon camera I’ve wanted for a long time.
I try out this technological gem right away, resting it on my shoulder as I film Lily—who showcases all her usual dances and routines in an effort to land the lead role.
My little sister proudly presents me with a one-of-a-kind dress she designed and sewed herself by combining two of my father’s old suit jackets, one light and one dark, then sulks when I choose not to wear it to go meet Clémentine.
And especially Vadim…
My brother, on the other hand, says he’ll give me his gift later on, because he couldn’t think of anything suitable. My mom shoots him a pained look, while my dad makes a scathing remark about his immaturity. That, in itself, is a pretty good gift.
As for my best friend, she drags me away for a makeover afternoon designed to get me to “step outside my comfort zone and realign my appearance with the new inner Alma.” It’s one hell of a program.
We begin our shopping session by squeezing ourselves into unwearable pencil skirts and sexy bustiers and end up each buying a black sweater—the same one—with buttons down the back, which we swear we’ll never wear on the same day.
With D’Aragon, there are no problems, only solutions!
A manicure and a full, seriously glam makeover later, I already don’t recognize myself.
I manage to wriggle out of the hair appointment my bestie has booked for us thanks to my date with Vadim.
Clem grumbles a little, purely for the sake of it, then lets me go, after helping me wipe off the excessive lipstick and gold eyeshadow that made me look like an over-the-top Christmas tree.
I laughed so much that my eyes are still watering.
“Did you do your makeup like Nicki Minaj just for me?” asks Vadim, when he picks me up in his truck.
“It was a gift from Clem. To ‘realign’ me,” I reply, slamming the door.
He narrows his stunning eyes, looking unconvinced.
“There’s also a ‘movie star hairstyle’ waiting for me if Clem gets her claws into me again, so you need to give me plenty of good reasons to stay here in this crappy hunk of junk!”
“Happy birthday, Alma.”
Vadim leans over to kiss me. His lips brush against mine, tentatively at first. I pull back, pretending to pout.
Then, he suddenly bites my lower lip. I squeal, giggle, grab his face with both hands, and try to nip his earlobe.
But Vadim dodges my attack, before dissolving into laughter.
We play-fight like two kids in this damn pickup that always has the same effect on us.
I never feel more myself than when Vadim Arcadi is around. When he’s as close to me as possible.
“So, where are we going?” I ask, fastening my seatbelt.
“My place? Keith isn’t coming over tonight. I think he has a date.”
“How romantic,” I sigh, pretending to be disappointed.
Vadim finally starts the engine, and we head toward his apartment.
As always, I can’t help watching him as he drives.
One arm stretched out on the wheel, muscles shifting beneath his skin, his other elbow resting against the window—it’s a sight I never get tired of.
His breathtaking profile, simultaneously serious and delicate, will eventually be committed to my memory—I’m sure of it.
Every now and then, a restless hand runs through his curls.
Then, his broad palm slips onto my thigh.
I place my own diminutive one over it and let my eyes linger on the place where our bodies connect.
Sometimes, my fingers caress the back of his neck.
I know he likes it by the way he tilts his head, silently telling me not to stop.
I could drive like this with him all the way to the other side of the United States, alone in the world with this boy and his seemingly magical pickup truck that makes us feel invincible.
Love stories and road trips have one thing in common: the exhilarating promise of infinity.
We know nothing about what awaits us on the horizon, but we keep moving forward, never looking back. Let’s hope the road never ends.
But Vadim is already pulling up alongside the curb. It’s time for my gift—and it will come with a sting. The moment of truth. The truth I begged him to share with me, but that I’m no longer sure I want to hear.
Vadim lets me go in ahead of him, and I discover that his apartment is bathed in a soft light. In the living room, dozens of little tea lights lined up on the hardwood floor spell out my name.
“I didn’t have enough to write ‘Happy birthday,’” Vadim murmurs behind me.
I don’t answer. Instead, I turn around and take him in my arms, preferring to simply kiss him.
“Wait, I have something else for you.”
He guides me toward the small coffee table, and we sit side by side on the couch.
My gaze falls on three Polaroids, and as soon as I realize what they portray, tears blur my eyes.
I wipe them away with the back of my hand and grab the photos to take a closer look.
The secluded bench where we meet in the park, the wall next to the café’s front door, the bottom step in the small square where we often hang out.
Our three favorite hiding places. At each of these spots, the same inscription is engraved in the stone or wood: You + Me.
“We can go see them if you want. That’ll be much better than just looking at the photos. Well, if you ever stop crying.” He smiles at me and strokes my hair.
He can make fun of me all he wants. I don’t care. I clutch the precious snapshots to my chest and bury my face in his neck, laughing.
“This is the best gift you could have given me.”
“And you thought I wasn’t romantic. Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten what I need to tell you, if you still want to hear it.”
“After this, you can tell me anything,” I murmur, looking at the Polaroids again.
Vadim sinks into the couch and pulls me toward him. His solid arms close around me. I settle against his chest, sliding my hand under his T-shirt and around his waist. His skin is soft and warm, and I melt into this cocoon of happiness. Nothing bad can happen to me here.
“A few years ago, Felix was part of a Puerto Rican gang. He wanted out, but those guys don’t just let you walk away.
When they’ve watched you grow up, when they’ve defended you, you end up belonging to them.
If you want your freedom, you’ve got to buy it back from them. And what Fe gave them was never enough.
“You know that money I was handing over to him? It was for that. But it wasn’t enough, so I decided to help him. Maybe not the right way, but I swear, there was no other way. These guys track you down wherever you go; when you’ve been one of theirs, even years later, you can’t escape them.
“Anyway, I stole a car. A big luxury sedan, the nicest one I could find in an upscale neighborhood. Felix and I dropped the car off in front of the gang’s HQ, and they accepted it. It means his debt is paid. He’s free.”
“You guys are completely insane,” I reply, snuggling a bit closer to him. “But does that mean it’s over? You don’t have anything to do with them anymore?”
“Yes, we’re completely done with them. But the night I did it, a security camera caught me in front of the house where the car was parked. That’s why they came to arrest me. I messed up. I never usually get caught.”
“Usually?” I shoot back indignantly, sitting up straight. “Stealing luxury cars is your… hobby?”
“No, I hadn’t done that in years. And I won’t do it again. It’s behind me now.”
“So, if it was you on the camera footage, why did they release you?”
“It could have been me, but it could have been anyone. It was dark, and I had a hood on. You can barely see my face. The cops traced it back to me because I’m in their system and I live in the area, but they don’t have any proof.
They were just hoping for me to confess, that’s all.
And Keith helped out by providing me with an alibi for that night. ”
“He lied? Your caseworker?”
“It happens. He did what it took to get me out. It was either that or jail, Alma.”
“I can’t believe it…”
“I know, but you have to believe me. I’m done with that bullshit. I have a scholarship, I go to college, and I want to make films. And I have you.”
Vadim takes the photos from my hands and stares at them for a long time.
He sighs, then gives me the wildest, most intense look I’ve ever seen.
His slightly parted lips move closer to my face; I close my eyes and invite him closer.
A few seconds later, the photos are scattered on the hardwood floor, underneath Vadim’s crumpled T-shirt.
We kiss with the same passion, the same urgency that has been ours ever since we found each other, but then he suddenly stops. He lowers the sweater he was in the middle of pulling up over my head.
“I just heard a noise. I’m sure it was the click of a camera,” he whispers softly. “Don’t move.”
Shirtless, he rushes behind the counter in the kitchen that opens onto the living room.
“Holy shit! What the hell are you doing here?”
“Ha, ha, ha… it took you guys long enough to get down to business! I thought that conversation was never going to end. Very touching, by the way. Oh, and happy birthday, Alma.”
Felix appears, laughing and holding a camera. I have a hard time processing what’s going on until Vadim rushes at his friend and slams him against the wall, then starts yelling in his face.
“You think it’s funny? You come into my home, hide, and take pictures of us? You’re the one who’s been doing this? Fuck… After everything I did for you?”
“Alright, calm down, I was just pranking you guys!”
“Are you fucking kidding me, Fe?”
“It’s a disposable, man! Look, it’s a freaking disposable camera. I just wanted to make you laugh. Pretend to be the psycho who’s following you around.”
“Get the hell out of here.”
“C’mon, Vadim, I was just messing around. I did it for shit and giggles, that’s all. I just wanted to be part of the party. Surprise!” Felix shouts, snickering.
“You’re completely insane,” I breathe.
“Give me back my key and get out,” Vadim growls, finally letting him go.
“Okay, okay, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. But you believe me, right? It was a fucking joke! You know me. I would never do that to you. Come on, man!”
Felix attempts a friendly pat on his buddy’s shoulder, but his hand is quickly brushed off.
He smooths out his crumpled clothes and heads toward the front door, a smirk still plastered on his face.
The two friends exchange a few words I can’t hear, the door slams, and Vadim—still shirtless—comes back to sit on the couch.
“I don’t think it was him, Alma.”
“What?” I reply, my eyes wide.
“The guy who took pictures of us from the street and in the gym couldn’t have done it with a disposable camera.”
“Felix was hiding behind your counter all evening! He was watching us while we—”
“I know,” Vadim interrupts. “But this is exactly the kind of stunt he likes to pull. It’s lame, but it’s classic Alonso. If he were the real photographer, he wouldn’t have let himself get caught so easily. He’s smarter than that.”
“This guy almost got you sent to jail! Then he sneaks into your place when you’re not here to take photos of us making out, and your conclusion is that he’s smart?”
“No, he’s a little asshole. But it’s not him.”
“Are you going to tell me he wasn’t the one who extorted money from me in exchange for your note, too?”
“What are you talking about?” he asks, frowning.
“The note you asked him to give me when you were released. It cost me thirty dollars. ‘For the trip,’ he said. Is that also your genius best friend being smart?”
Vadim closes his eyes, hangs his head, and runs both hands over the back of his neck. His silence only makes me more furious. I stand up, then start gathering my things, unable to stay in this apartment any longer.
“I’ll talk to him, Alma. And I’ll pay you back. Please don’t leave.”
“I don’t care about the money! But why do you always defend him? Even when he goes after me? Even on my birthday?”
“Because he’s all I have! He’s my childhood friend, my brother, my only family! He isn’t perfect, but he’s there for me.”
“I’m here too, don’t you see? I could be all you have, too! But you choose him!” I yell at the top of my lungs, my voice choked with tears.
“Hey, I don’t want to have to choose! There’s him, and there’s You + Me!” Vadim picks up the Polaroids from the hardwood floor and waves them in front of my eyes. “I’ve carved it into everything, but nothing is ever enough for you.”
His towering frame sinks back onto the couch again, his typically languorous movements tinged with helplessness. My anger evaporates and is quickly replaced by sorrow.
I cross the apartment, giving Vadim a wide berth, but before I step out the door, I turn around one last time. “You can add them to Felix’s photo collection. It’ll make a nice album for the two of you to look through when you’re old. Old and alone. Both of you.”