27
Caleb and I slowly become friends as we spend time together on the weekends he visits his dad.
After all, we have a few things in common: complicated fathers, relationships that aren’t exactly approved of, and a group of students we can easily make fun of.
Between my private tutoring sessions with Abrams and the time I spend hanging out and petting Hitch, I learn more about my teacher through Caleb, and he learns more about his father through me.
Mr. Abrams hasn’t done anything specific to bring us closer, but ever since his son started stopping by unannounced, I catch him smiling more often.
With all this going on, I have less time to spend with Clémentine—which she’s quick to point out—and with Vadim, who sometimes gives me a hard time about it, while swearing he isn’t jealous.
But secretly, I love that he is. Since Caleb came into the picture, Vadim teases me more than ever, but he’s also more attentive, more tender during the brief moments we manage to steal together in one of our hiding places.
And he has a harder time letting me go, giving me back my freedom.
Arcadi’s latest stroke of genius is to organize a peacemaking dinner with Felix that he hopes will help us all bond a little. He’s also invited Clémentine, so he can get to know my best friend better. I still don’t know what possessed me to accept.
On the way to Vadim’s place with Clem, I keep repeating to her that this is not a setup, much less a double date.
She makes me promise for the hundredth time not to leave her alone with “that loser” while I make out with my boyfriend.
On the landing, we come face to face with Felix, who has heard everything and starts to look my friend up and down with what is meant to be the hungry eyes of a successful ladies’ man.
“I’ll count to three, and then we run,” Clem hisses to me through gritted teeth.
“Come in!” Vadim calls out, opening the door. “You’re all on time, which is already an achievement.”
“After you, ladies.”
Felix pulls out all the stops with his gallantry, and I can’t help laughing.
“Don’t start, Fe, you promised!”
“Okay, okay! Alma, here’s the thirty dollars I owe you.”
“And?” Vadim looks pointedly at his buddy.
“And I apologize for asking you for money when you were at your lowest, like a doe in distress while your rutting stag was pacing around in his cage,” Felix adds with a laugh, clearly proud of his metaphor.
“Good for you, you brushed up on all your forest animals before you came here,” Clémentine responds dryly. “What are you going to do next to impress us? Count to ten?”
“C’mon, everyone relax. We haven’t even started eating!” Vadim cuts in, fully embracing his role as mediator. “I’m sure we’re gonna find lots of things to talk about.”
“Should we start with the graffiti on the gym wall, Alma’s new man, or the naked pics of you two?” Felix asks, as inspired as ever.
“What man?” Vadim barks.
“What photos?” Clem roars.
“Okay,” I jump in, trying to calm things down. “Caleb is just Mr. Abrams’s son. I bump into him at the professor’s place sometimes, and we get along well. That’s it, nothing more. And anyway, he has a girlfriend.”
“Because if he was single, you’d be interested?! So, you’re finally admitting it!”
Vadim shoots me a challenging look. I hold his gaze for a moment before turning to Clémentine.
“And second,” I continue, “I didn’t tell you, Clem, but Vadim and I received some compromising photos of the two of us in the middle of…
well, you know. There have been two. They were sent via anonymous emails, one to Basile, and one directly to me.
So thanks, Felix, for throwing that grenade into the room. ”
“I love that I’m finding this out from him,” Clem grumbles.
“I could help you discover so many other things, babe,” Felix says.
“Why don’t you shut up and go study the animals of the savanna, Alonso?”
Her acerbic comeback manages to lighten the mood, and everyone bursts out laughing.
Clémentine immediately gets back down to business. “So, who took the photos then? Someone follows you guys and takes pictures of you, just for fun? Or do they want something from you?”
“No idea,” I sigh, feeling irritated.
“They probably want to freak us out,” Vadim adds, “or try and break us up.”
“Timothy!” Clem cries out, throwing her arms up in the air. “It’s obvious. He wants to get revenge on the guy who stole his toy!”
“Nah, it would be embarrassing for him to take photos of Alma with someone else. Unless he really is that stupid,” Felix says.
“Right, so it could be him,” Vadim quips. “But I’m leaning toward Basile. He can’t handle the thought of his sister being with a guy like me. It tarnishes the Lancaster image.”
“So, he sent an email to himself?” Clem wonders aloud. “That doesn’t add up.”
“Well, it would be a pretty clever thing to do!”
“Oh, so it definitely can’t be Basile,” Vadim replies.
“We might never know,” I say. “All I want is for the photos to stop!”
“Well, in that case, you two are going to have to quit meeting in public places or ones that are visible, in any case. In front of windows. In the street…” Clémentine says, ticking them off on her fingers.
“Yeah, you two seriously need to tear yourselves away from each other! And don’t start saying you just can’t help it,” Felix snickers with a world-weary shrug.
Vadim and I exchange an unfazed look, the kind that says: Let them talk. A look that smiles, a look that doesn’t care, a look meant only for us.
Between jokes and jabs, the evening rolls on.
Our unlikely quartet begins weaving fragile bonds, threads intertwining until they form an inescapable web.
Felix steals food from Clémentine’s plate.
Clémentine swats his hand away. Felix claps Vadim on the shoulder.
Vadim ignores him, choosing instead to look at me again.
Clem and I with our shared memories, and the two guys with their endless shenanigans…
We somehow become a happy little gang, despite ourselves.
Four people who, for the span of a single dinner, seem to forget that they had every reason never to meet.
And above all, never to love each other.
***
“I thought they were never going to leave,” I say, dropping onto the couch.
“Ah-ha! Now it’s time for my favorite part of the night…”
“What, being alone with me?”
“No, the part where Alma Lancaster is going to admit she was wrong and that this evening was an excellent idea!”
Vadim comes to lie down next to me, his head resting on my thighs. He looks up at me with a grin.
“Well, Clem and Fe didn’t hit each other, Clem only judged you a little bit, and your buddy barely even got on my nerves… Yes, I think we can say it was a success. I bow before you. You’re a genius, Sir Arcadi.”
“Say it again!” Vadim beams, closing his eyes.
“Move over, O Great One. I want some tea.”
“You’ll have to get past me first!”
“No problem.”
Vadim gets up and locks the door, closes the curtains, and turns off the light.
A near-complete darkness wraps around us.
We have fun finding our way back to each other by touch, with only our whispers and shivers to guide us.
Then, lying on his couch, our arms and legs tangled together, we hold each other so tightly it feels like we could merge into one.
“I couldn’t have dreamed of anyone better than you for my first love,” I say to him softly.
“So, what are you dreaming of now?”
“You quitting your college assignment hustle.”
That wasn’t what he expected. But I think about it all the time, despite never talking to him about it.
“No, I mean what do you dream about for yourself?”
“I don’t know… maybe getting married some day?”
“Too cliché. Something really crazy, Alma! Something you dream of doing but don’t dare to.”
“Umm… getting a tattoo.”
“But I could take you to get a tattoo right now,” he groans, pushing me away. “No, I’m talking about a real dream. The thing you want more than anything in the world.”
“Okay, I want to have a child.”
“Accepted. That’s on my list, too. But something bigger, crazier, something that you absolutely want to do before you die.”
“Hmm… walk up the steps at the Cannes Film Festival in an haute couture dress with a slit all the way up the leg?” I say it hesitantly, but immediately realize it’s far too specific to sound like a dream I made up on the spot.
Vadim sits up, his eyes widening in amusement. “Oh yeah? Wait, I have to write this down somewhere.”
“No! It’s so narcissistic… Forget I ever said it.”
“I’m going to make a list,” he says, jumping up to grab something to write with. “Tell me everything that comes to mind!”
I turn on a small lamp near the sofa as he comes back and lies on his stomach next to me.
“Okay: go for a midnight swim, go skydiving, swim with manta rays, see the northern lights, go to Australia, hold a koala in my arms. Now, your turn.”
“Hmm… Direct a movie, visit Russia, ride a motorcycle at 125 miles an hour, surf a gigantic wave, learn French, take you to see a koala just to see your face when you have it in your arms…”
Vadim’s smile makes something inside me glow. With a nod, he encourages me to continue.
“Let me see… Sit on the back of your motorcycle and scream because I’m so scared, watch your movie and burst with pride in the screening room, go to Russia with you even though I’ll be cold all the time, start a koala sanctuary with you…” I continue, giggling.
“Haha! I love you. Don’t stop!”
“Have a child with curly hair like yours.”
Dreamily, I slip my fingers into the curls I adore.
“Agreed, but he’s got to have your green eyes.”
“And your perfect mouth,” I say before kissing him.
“I’d like to find my brother. Just to know how he turned out.”
My heart tightens when I hear the crack in his voice, see the shadow that falls over his gray gaze, and think about this wish that seems to come from somewhere deep and distant.
“Oh, Vadim, that’s awful. You never saw him again?”
“Not since my parents died. I’ve been looking for him for years. All I know is that he was adopted.”
“We’ll find him. I can help you. We’ll look together, okay?” I assure him, my eyes wet.
“Don’t be sad, Alma. I won’t let you be sad. Tell me some more dreams instead. This list is too short.”
“I wish my father would stop looking down on my mother for being a stay-at-home mom, as if she spends her days doing nothing… when if she had worked instead of taking care of us—and of him—he never could have built the career he has.”
“Maybe that’s what works for them?” Vadim suggests, not joking around for once.
“If you treat me like that, I’ll kill you.”
“Okay, I’ll add ‘stay alive’ to my list,” he decides, laughing.
“We’ll never have time to do all this, huh?”
“Yes, we will, because I’m going to love you for a hundred years.”
Lying on his stomach, the end of the pen stuck between his teeth, Vadim studies his piece of paper, covered in scribbles and notes.
I come and lie down on his back, trying to decipher his messy handwriting.
He’s even drawn a koala with huge ears, and a baby with curls.
I’m fascinated. I gaze at our wish list silently, happier than I’ve been in a long time.
It overwhelms me to imagine this life that might be waiting for us. I don’t even dare believe it.
Vadim, meanwhile, puts pen to paper again. He gives a title to his list: “Bucket List: Things to Do Before We Die,” before stopping and thinking for a while. Then he adds right at the top, in big letters which he traces over ten times: “You + Me.”