41
The next morning, Vadim seems more relaxed.
He even apologizes for making me come all the way to the café for nothing.
But before I even have time to respond, he starts moaning about the seven atrocious days he has ahead of him.
And how it’s all my fault. During the ferry ride, we make sure to avoid Basile—who is doing exactly the same—as well as Timothy, who won’t stop staring at us, and even Clémentine, who seems to be in a foul mood and is permanently glued to her phone.
Welcome to Santa Catalina Island: a small, mountainous, unspoiled haven located off the coast of San Pedro, in Los Angeles County, and above all, a nature reserve that recruits volunteers every year to “explore, protect, and restore” its ecosystem.
This time around, the group includes about twenty students from our university, to the delight of some of the other volunteers and the dismay of others.
I hear Clem whispering—loud enough to be heard, too—that khaki green is a cruel color for the complexion. I giggle. And I see my best friend chuckle, because she knows she has made me laugh. It’s one of the best feelings in the world. I realize in that moment just how much I miss our closeness.
Between our assignments at the botanical garden, the museum, and the Wrigley Memorial; our lessons on the temperate oceanic climate, dolphin language, and the disappearance of the island’s foxes; and the hikes we take to observe a few rare bison or the eagle chicks in their nursery, we don’t have much free time left.
Well, except for the traditional evening campfire where everyone shares their impressions, flirts a little, and yawns a lot.
Vadim and I make our escape from these evening gatherings as soon as we are able to, in search of a huge rock we can hide behind and kiss…
before getting caught by a ranger whose job it is to stop just that.
One evening, Vadim and I return from one of our secret escapades, and Clémentine’s eyes twinkle as she looks at me, as if she can’t help but be proud of my rebelliousness.
There aren’t many people left around the fire, apart from Basile, who is discreetly flirting with some guy; Tim, who is half asleep but is absolutely determined to be the last to go to bed; and two girls with fake-sounding laughs who are watching him doze off.
Vadim creeps over and tickles Tim’s cheek with a twig, yelling, “Spiiiider!” Everyone bursts out laughing when he wakes up with a start.
Except him. Clem breaks into an infectious fit of giggles that she simply can’t recover from, imitating the blond basketball player’s howl between gasps for air.
Grumbling, he goes off to his tent and zips himself in, his two groupies trotting behind him.
Clémentine takes the opportunity to speak directly to me, which she hasn’t done in a long time. “No, but seriously, Alma, what did you see in him?”
“I ask myself that every day too,” Vadim chimes in.
“It’s true, he’s not very smart,” adds Basile, who we had almost forgotten was there.
“Are you switching sides now?” Clem interrupts, staring at my brother.
“Depends on what you mean by that,” he replies with a sly smile.
“Oh really, so we’re spilling secrets tonight, are we?” Vadim says, amused.
“Wait, what are you three hiding from me?” Clémentine asks.
“Oh come on, you’re in no position to complain about people keeping secrets!” I retort.
“Alright, everyone has to make one confession, but whatever is said in Catalina—and whatever happens in Catalina—stays in Catalina!” my brother warns.
“Go ahead, you start!” I encourage him.
“Well… Alma and Vadim already know, since they spied on me one night,” he says, glaring at us. Then, he turns back to Clémentine, who is growing impatient. “I’ve known you basically forever, and you’re a bit like my third sister, so I feel like I can tell you: I think I’m gay.”
“What?!”
Her eyes widen and her mouth falls open, as theatrical as ever, and I hope she doesn’t make my brother regret his confession.
“No, actually, I’m sure of it,” Basile replies, looking relieved.
“You… Mr. Uptight, the dignified heir, the pain-in-the-ass brother… You’re gay? This is the best news of the year! So, who are you then?” she inquires, pointing to the tall, dark-haired guy sitting not far away.
“Isaac. Isaac Sanders. We take the same classes. He’s the one who dragged me here.”
“Are you a basketball player as well as a marketing student?” Vadim asks, frowning.
“No, but I like watching them play and making fun of them.”
“That’s fine then. You can stay.”
“Alright, your turn, Clem!” I say to change the subject. I hope this is enough to save my brother and his boyfriend from becoming any more uncomfortable than they already are.
“Okay… Unfortunately, I’m not a lesbian, but I have harbored an unconditional love for Alma Lancaster since I was three and a half! That’s why I’ve never been able to stand you, Arcadi!”
“Ha-ha, very funny! But maybe you should spill the beans on your invisible boyfriend instead,” I cajole her, laughing.
“Where do I start? He’s very good-looking… Older than me… A wonderful lover…” she says, her eyes shining.
But that’s all I can get out of her that night.
Soon, no one can keep their eyes open, the campfire has been reduced to nothing more than a pile of ashes, and I start to shiver in Vadim’s arms. Isaac and Basile head back to their already occupied tent, and I snuggle up against Vadim in ours, ignoring our two tentmates.
When I’m pressed against him, and he’s pressed against me, we’re always alone in the world. Alone, against everyone else.
***
It’s already our second to last day at the camp, but above all, our very last evening on this magical, wild island, cut off from the rest of the world.
I never imagined this spring break would be so surprising, so enriching, and—yes—rejuvenating.
Bonds have formed between all the students, friendships have been made or rekindled, and love stories have begun, as if nature itself wanted to set things right with the arrival of spring…
unless it was simply chance that brought us all here.
Timothy Wallace has been sulking all day, even though we’ve had plenty of free time.
The rest of us have made the most of it: swimming in the ocean, playing soccer on the beach, having pillow fights, picnicking on the sand, and screaming our heads off during a massive zip-line session.
Everyone has been having fun, fooling around and laughing right up until the evening gathering, where some people even started singing.
For the past hour, Clémentine has been entertaining us with her gravelly voice and wild dance moves. Then, suddenly, I see her walking away with Vadim. I wonder what they are plotting, but mostly I’m just thrilled that my boyfriend and my best friend are finally getting closer.
Suddenly, Tim comes and sits next to me. “Alma, are you sure about this?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Arcadi. Is he really the one you want?”
“Tim, have you been drinking?”
“Maybe a little, but that doesn’t change anything. We got along well, didn’t we?”
“I don’t think we should be having this conversation.”
“Answer me. Were we good together or not?”
“No, I don’t think I’m the girl for you. And vice versa.”
“You’re wrong, Alma. Spending this week with you has reminded me of all the good memories. I was really in love with you. And you loved me, too. I remember it really well. Don’t try to tell me you didn’t.”
“Sometimes, we think we feel things—”
“We could feel them again!” he cuts in, placing his hand on my knee.
“Tim, you really should stop, right now.”
“Come on, just give us another chance.”
He brings his face closer to mine, then grabs my chin.
“Didn’t you hear what she said? Let go of her, Wallace! And get up. I’m not the kind of person who hits a guy when he’s down,” growls Vadim, who I hadn’t seen appear.
“You want to fight me for her, Arcadi?” Tim slurs, struggling to his feet.
“No, you can barely stand, you jackass! And Alma has already made her choice. Go to bed, man. It’ll be better for everyone.”
Basile steps in and leads Tim away, the basketball captain’s fists flailing wildly like a puppet with its strings cut.
Vadim pulls me into his arms and guides me up to a small dune we haven’t explored yet, a lantern in his hand.
When we reach the top, he stands back and lets me admire the sight: “You + Me” spelled out in huge letters on the white sand, using pieces of driftwood and a few dark branches.
It takes my breath away, and an irrepressible smile stretches across my face.
“See what you’ve done to me? Eco-friendly AND romantic,” Vadim murmurs in my ear. “Though I did have some help from Clémentine.”
“So, that’s what you two were plotting?” I ask, amazed.
“Your friend’s really smart. She managed to convince the rangers to forget about the rules for a little while and let us give this island a little love, as a parting gift. She’s a keeper, that one.”
“Noted! But you’re the one I want to keep for the rest of my life, Vadim Arcadi.”
“Also noted.”
He smiles at me, and I melt, tilting my head back and letting him kiss me until I’m dizzy.
I turn around to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Vadim, I have a confession to make. It’s something I’ve never told you before…”
“What?” He frowns, and his striking, gray eyes darken.
“Do you promise it won’t change anything between us?”
“What’s wrong?”
“You’ll never believe me, but… I’m not even cold!”
I burst out laughing when I see the defeated look on his face. He had clearly been expecting anything but that.
“Fuck, I love you, Alma.”
Those words.
That voice, which carries me away every single time.
A voice so deep, warm, composed, and unwavering that it could belong to a man twice his age.
I had no idea that, at twenty years old, a guy could be so masculine without ever acting macho, so sexy without trying too hard, and so sensual, spontaneous, and self-assured.
His way of loving me, of telling me and showing me, without ever being ashamed or hiding it, is the most incredible thing I’ve ever experienced.
Suddenly, his bright eyes light up even more. He sets his lantern on the ground, hoists me up, and throws me over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift.
“Vadim, what are you doing?” I gasp, trying to keep my voice to a whisper.
“When Alma Lancaster is overheating, there’s only one solution.”
He runs down the dune and along the beach like a man possessed. I lurch around, bouncing against his shoulder as much from the force of my uncontrollable laughter as from the speed he’s built up.
“Put me down!” I yell, struggling. “Are you crazy?”
Eventually, he complies, right where the sand meets the water.
“It’s pitch black, everyone has gone to bed, and the rangers have promised to leave us alone for an hour. So, are you up for a swim?”
His gaze challenges me. His smile blows me away. I can never say no to that combination, and he knows it. I barely have time to crack a smile before he sweeps me up in his arms again, like a princess this time, and wades into the water.
“Wait, I didn’t even say yes!”
“Too late.”
After a running start, Vadim lets out a whoop of joy and plunges us both into the water.
I hold my breath as I disappear beneath an icy wave, struggling against the weight of my soaked clothes, then feel him dive down and pull me back up, so we can surface together.
I drum my little fists against his broad shoulders, then splash him in an attempt to make him stop laughing.
“There you go, are you cooled off now, Lancaster?”
“Yes, but I’m still going to complain to the rangers first thing tomorrow morning!”
“On what grounds?”
“First of all, you tried to drown me. And on top of that, you thought it was funny! And finally, I was enjoying the heat, and now I’m freezing!”
“Hmm, I’d better warm you up again, then…”
Vadim wraps my legs around his waist, and I slip my arms around his neck, my teeth chattering.
He brushes my hair aside and kisses me the way only he knows how.
Gently at first, then with that intensity that overwhelms me.
His hands hold me tightly against him, and I curl myself around his body like a vine, resolving never to let go.
He spins us in a circle and smiles against my lips as the water swirls around us.
I run my fingers through his gorgeous, damp curls and we float together, soaring, perfectly intertwined.
I feel so incredibly light as I surrender to this long, salty kiss, lulled by the lapping of the water and the peaceful night sky that envelops us.
Santa Catalina Island, I’m not going to forget you anytime soon.
“You were right to drag me here,” Vadim finally admits, his forehead resting against mine.
“You’re an endangered species, Arcadi. A back-row slacker who doesn’t listen to anything in class but remembers everything.
A rebel who breaks the rules not for himself but to make someone else happy.
A fake failure who succeeds at everything he does.
A cynic who somehow manages to make every night romantic. ”
He smiles but doesn’t say a word. For once, he accepts my compliments without flinching. The magic of Santa Catalina, perhaps. The silvery full moon above our heads illuminates his stunning eyes. Those two pale irises I never grow tired of drowning in.
Suddenly, the thought of our all-consuming love overwhelms me.
I wonder if our chemistry, our passion, our connection will last forever.
A year, ten years… fifty? It’s so strong that it hurts.
So good that the idea of losing what we have is inconceivable.
But will we still kiss each other everywhere, all the time, when we’re adults?
Will we argue as much? Will we still be crazy enough to go swimming at midnight?
Will we keep daring each other? And will we manage to rise to every challenge life throws at us?
Is there anything, however tiny it may be—a grain of sand, a drop of water—that could ever tear us apart?
Maybe.
But nothing will ever stop me from loving him.