47
[You + Me, did that mean nothing
to you?]
[You made me believe in a perfect love story…
and then you tore my heart out.
Are you proud of yourself?]
In the darkness of my room, the harsh glow of the screen burns my eyes. And yet, I can’t tear my gaze away from the bodies of Cheyenne and Vadim. So beautiful, so close… so devastating.
Tears blur my vision, but it doesn’t matter—I already know the image like the back of my hand. It’s printed beneath my eyelids, tattooed onto my pupils, engraved into my heart. With a chisel.
Damn you, Arcadi.
I don’t have the strength to run to Vadim’s place and scream at him to relieve my pain.
My disappointment. My hurt. I don’t have the energy to call him and hopefully discover that all of this was just a dream.
He might not even bother to explain himself or reassure me.
He could just hide behind his freedom to live as he pleases and blame it on my constant insecurities.
All I could manage was those two short messages, which I wrote with my fingers trembling, my chest tight, my cheeks wet with tears.
Three clichéd sentences that he’ll undoubtedly find banal.
I reread them, then toss my phone to the end of my bed.
I stare at it for a few long minutes, until it starts vibrating.
[?????]
It vibrates again.
[Lancaster, did you have a
nightmare or something?
Are you delusional?
Are you on drugs?]
[You’re the only one who finds that funny.]
[What are you talking about, Koala?
Should I call a doctor?]
[I know everything.]
[And I don’t know anything at all.
If you could explain it to me,
it would be easier for us to
communicate.]
[So, you’re too much of a coward to confess?]
[The photo says it all.]
Vadim <3 appears on my screen. He’s trying to call me. I let the call go to voicemail. Three or four times.
I’m going to have to delete this stupid heart from my contacts.
[Alma, if you don’t answer your
cell, I’m coming over to
your place. Pick up the damn phone!]
Another call. I hit the red button on my screen.
[Stay away from me,
Arcadi. Far away.]
My cell stops vibrating.
Time continues to pass, indifferent to me. With my feet up against the wall, I stare at my string lights until I start seeing spots.
I feel empty. Completely empty.
Just when I thought all the drama was over, my phone starts to go crazy again.
[I’m outside your place, Princess.]
[Either you slip out quietly and we can talk,
or I jump the gate and break a window,
which will be much less discreet. Your choice…]
Let him break whatever he wants. It’s not my problem anymore. The alarm will go off loudly enough for the whole neighborhood to hear, and my father will be there to greet him while we wait for the cops to arrive. Vadim will just have to face the consequences.
I want him to pay.
To suffer.
[Alma, don’t force me to do something stupid.
Because you know I’ll do it.
Even if it lands me in jail.]
I’m too much of a coward to let that happen. So, I answer him, hating myself for being so weak. Hating myself for loving him so much.
[Don’t break anything. I’m coming down.]
Right before I sneak out of my room, I take a picture of the computer screen. So I can show him, if words fail me.
I don’t run into anyone on my way down. After opening and closing the heavy door as silently as possible, I take a little detour to avoid triggering the automatic light on the driveway leading to the gate.
I find Vadim sitting on the sidewalk, dressed all in black, a large stone in his clenched fist.
“Were you planning to use that to break a window? My house is built like a bunker.” I hope it’s clear that I’m aiming for a contemptuous tone.
His eyes narrow in frustration. “You can make fun of me as much as you like, Alma, but please talk to me.”
“I don’t have anything to say to you, but I’ve got something to show you. Here.” I hand him my phone, then turn my head away.
“Who sent you this? Another anonymous email?” he hisses through clenched teeth.
“The problem isn’t who sent it, Vadim. The problem is what it shows!”
“Listen to me without interrupting, please.” His husky voice reaches depths I never knew existed. “After you’ve heard me out, you can decide whether to believe me or not.”
A traitorous tear rolls down my cheek. He tries to take me in his arms, but I push him away.
“Alma, I know what this photo looks like, but nothing happened. Nothing has ever happened between her and me.”
“Don’t treat me like an idiot. You’re going to tell me it’s AI, is that it?”
“No…”
“So, it’s your fucking doppelganger in this photo?”
“No. I went to her place, once. Only once.”
“That’s already one lie,” I murmur.
He steps closer.
I take a step back.
“She’d drunk too much. I just took her home. And yes, she came on to me that night.”
“Second lie.”
“I kept that to myself,” he admits, “so you wouldn’t get the wrong idea.”
“Wow, that’s so generous of you. Should I give you a medal?”
“Alma…”
“But that doesn’t exactly explain why you’ve got your head between her thighs, you—”
“Look!” he yells, holding my cell an inch from my face. “She’s dressed, and so am I!”
I try to ignore the screen, but he doesn’t back down.
“She’d just dropped a vase on the floor. She was drunk! Or maybe she did it on purpose. In any case, all I did was bend down to pick up the pieces of shattered glass. And when she put her hand in my hair, I left immediately. I promise you! I should have realized that everything was calculated—"
“Vadim Arcadi, victim of a treacherous plot… Yeah, right! That is such a lame excuse. Cheyenne’s always wanted you, and she finally got her claws into you, end of story!”
I snatch my phone from his hands.
“Alma, think about it. If something really had happened, the stalker would have taken a much more compromising photo. You believe me, right? I know deep down you believe me…”
I’m starting to believe him.
Vadim suddenly leans against the low wall, as if he’s had the wind knocked out of him.
“I just figured it out,” he says.
“What?”
“Alma, I think I finally know who’s behind all this. I’ve been such an idiot!”
“That’s an understatement…”
“I’m never going to hang out with Cheyenne again, I promise you. She’s in on it, I’m sure! I need proof, but soon, everything will become clear.”
Vadim takes a step closer and cups my cheeks in his hands.
“I’m asking you to trust me one last time,” he whispers, looking me right in the eyes.
I can feel his breath against my face, the faint scent of his cologne, the warmth radiating from his body. My armor is beginning to crack.
“And I’m asking you to leave.” I lower my eyes.
“Don’t give up. Not yet. You + Me… It’s stronger than this.”
“Just go home, Vadim.”
“I love you, Alma. And you love me too, even if you prefer to believe that you hate me.”
I’ve already turned away when he says these last words. An icy shiver runs through me, despite the gentle warmth of this May evening. Vadim Arcadi’s love cracks clean through my armor and seeps into every fissure. It shakes my convictions and turns my world upside down again.