Chapter 27 – Sunshine
TWENTY-SEVEN
SUNSHINE
I checked the clock on my Mac for what had to be the thousandth time.
Why was time moving so slowly?
I’d been back in the city for three weeks, and for whatever reason, it had felt like three decades. Work was sluggish. My daily routines, boring. Even shock treatment at my spa had been uninspiring.
Because Tag wasn’t there. He wasn’t anywhere in this city, but I kept looking for him, expecting him to show up like he had the last time. Only, intellectually, I knew that wasn’t going to happen.
Today, Mr. Berkley was popping into the office with a surprise announcement and we were all supposed to meet in the conference room at eleven am.
10:32.
Ugh! It had been 10:31 last time I checked, and that had to be over an hour ago.
There’d been no mention of my partnership since being back. Instead, Jared had simply dropped an inordinate amount of work on my desk, told me I’d needed to catch up, and then left me to do what I did best.
Making money.
On our last call with the partners, I’d gently brought up the subject of crypto and was immediately shot down.
Berkley and Brothers didn’t play with funny money. Which I could appreciate, if you didn’t know what you were doing.
Except I did.
Group Chat Harmony: Did it happen yet?
Me: No. The meeting isn’t until 11:00.
Mom: Why is she talking about a meeting?
Bliss: MOM! Keep up. Sunshine told us that the big boss announced a surprise meeting today. It’s probably about her promotion to partner.
Mom: So, we’re not talking about the other thing?
Amity: MOM!
Harmony: MOM!
Bliss: We need to remove Mom from the group chat.
Mom: You will not remove me. I’m your mother!
Me: What other thing is Mom talking about?
Harmony. If you don’t know, then it didn’t happen. So, she’s talking about nothing.
Me: I don’t think that makes any sense.
Amity: So, you’re going to take the partnership?
Me: Of course. It’s what I’ve been working towards this entire time.
I glanced at my monitor again.
10:41.
Yes, of course I was going to take it. At 10:58 exactly, I was going to get up from my desk and take the forty-five second walk to the conference room.
Where all the partners and associates of Berkley and Brothers would be assembled.
Then, after a reasonable amount of small talk and banal pleasantries, Mr. Berkley would announce my promotion to partner.
Everyone would clap politely. I would smile and nod… politely. Nothing too showy.
It was all going to be exactly as I’d dreamed it.
Well, not last night. Last night, I’d dreamt about riding with Tag on horseback across the open plains. Nothing in front us, nothing behind us. Just sky and grass and cattle as far as the eye could see.
I woke up reaching for him, like I’d done every night since being back in my apartment.
It’s a phase. You’ll get over him.
It’s what I had to tell myself every morning over my second cup of coffee. Which I needed, because I was no longer sleeping like I had when I was in Tag’s bed.
It was the Wyoming air.
Yep, keep trying to tell yourself that.
Bliss: The two Darryls were in the Stand last night bragging about their investments. I think they made a combined ten dollars .
I smiled at that. I’d given them some basic advice to follow.
Me: That’s ten dollars they didn’t have last week. That’s what a good investment strategy will get you.
Amity: The Strunk sisters were also showing off about how well they're doing, too. They’re talking about investing in an espresso bar for their B&Bs, but I’m wondering if that’s going to hurt my business.
Me: People will always pay money to have other people make them coffee. Just ask Starbucks.
Amity: Still, I wish someone would help me with an investment strategy for my small business.
Me: Consider it done. I’ll start working up a prospectus for you tonight.
Bliss: Won’t you be busy celebrating your promotion?
Mom: Oh, she’ll be getting busy, alright. (wink emoji)
Harmony: MOM!
Amity: MOM!
Bliss: I’m telling you all, we need to cut her out.
Me: We don’t really do celebrations at Berkley.
10:57.
Well, if nothing else, my family had helped me to pass the time.
Me: I have to go. I’ll tell you what happens after the meeting is over. Don’t be too disappointed if it doesn’t happen for me.
Mom: I will be profoundly disappointed if that knucklehead doesn’t come through.
Me: Mom, you shouldn’t call my boss a knucklehead. He’s just looking out for his firm.
I put the phone down on my desk. Personal devices were not allowed in company meetings. I was in a classic white pant suit. Not a spec of lint on it. My makeup perfect. My hair freshly dyed and cut. I was entirely back to my old self.
Entirely.
Outside of my office, I was aware of the support staff watching me. The assistants turning in their seats to watch me walk down the hall.
Although, in fairness, they’d been doing that since I’d been back.
Tag’s presence a month ago was still the most exciting thing that had happened in this office for years.
And the rumors of where I’d been and the kind of place I’d come from, were still being chewed over at lunch and Friday night drinks.
I think they kept waiting for me to cry yee-haw and whip off my pantsuit to reveal a cowgirl underneath.
I wasn’t a cowgirl. Although, I could say that I could ride both an ATV and a horse.
I was very proud of those accomplishments.
There was a small line outside the conference room of people waiting to get in. There was a definite pecking order to how this went. Mr. Berkley was already seated at the head of the long table, the partners in the remaining seats around the table. Everyone else would stand.
It would make sense for me to find a spot in Mr. Berkley’s line of sight. If this was what I thought it was, then he would be addressing me directly, and would want to easily find me in the crowded conference room.
However, some latent sense of…nervousness had me pushing into the far corner of the room. As far away from Mr. Berkley as I could get.
Yes, of course I would accept a partnership. That meant a long-term commitment to the firm. More money than I could ever dream of having.
A better apartment.
You miss the A-frame cabin.
More designer clothes.
You were pretty happy in jeans.
More swanky NYC parties to attend.
The rodeo was more fun.
More access to the financial power brokers.
Power brokers didn’t have a thing on Tag.
Wait. Was I talking myself out of this promotion? Was I standing here in my perfect, white pantsuit, that I’d worn to represent how far women had come in just over a hundred years from our Suffragette sisters, actually thinking about leaving everything behind…?
For a guy?
My Suffragette sisters would not be very happy with me.
But the guy didn’t want me. I had to remember that.
You just like the way I fuck.
So much about Tag hurt. The worst was that I’d never trust a man with my body like I had with him (ever again)…
Except, he wasn’t the only thing I missed .
I’d run away from home, the life I’d never even tried to embrace, all because I thought no one really liked me for who I was. But, I never once took a minute to really find out if that was true or not.
One week home, with my mom, my sisters, the town, and suddenly my perspective had changed.
I had bailed the Swinging D out of a mess. I’d helped the Darryl’s earn ten dollars. Last Hope might have two bed and breakfast places with competing espresso bars because of me. Amity might need my help. Not just cash, but actual financial advice. Bliss, too, if she would bother to take it.
And Harmony and Ethan were going to have babies someday, and three aunts were better than two. That was just basic math.
I could survive seeing Tag, and maybe I’d just get used to how much it hurt when I did. What I couldn’t survive was being away from my home.
From my family.
I had to get out of the conference room. Everyone had quieted down. Mr. Berkley was saying something, but I couldn’t focus enough to listen. My chest was tight. I was having trouble breathing. When had this conference room become the most cramped space on planet Earth?
If I could just make my way toward the door…
“As you know, we don’t make these kinds of announcements very often, but this particular person is very deserving.”
“‘Scuse me,” I whispered, even as I tried to push through a forest of suits. “I just need a second.”
“Oh. My. God. It’s happening again.”
I could feel a certain commotion in the room, a shifting energy, but I still focused on pushing through my co-workers to get to the conference door .
“He’s back!”
“Who’s back?”
“What’s happening? Everyone, I demand your full attention. This is a big moment in the history of Berkley and Brothers!”
I was three feet away from the door, but still at least ten people deep. I’d been crouched down to obfuscate my escape, so I couldn’t see anything. But I could hear him.
“Sunshine?”
I popped my head up, and that’s when I saw him.
Black denim jeans, black denim shirt.
Black cowboy hat.
Aviators.
“You are interrupting my meeting!” That was from Mr. Berkley, who was now standing at the head of the table. “Someone call security.”
“Don’t think you’re going to want to do that, Mr. Berkley.” That came from Jared, who was seated at the table and slumping down into his brown leather chair.
He had a point.
“Sunshine?”
“I wish he’d call me Sunshine,” sighed one of the associates in front of me.
I raised my hand so he could see me. “I’m here.”
He looked over at me and whipped off his aviator sunglasses. The smile on his face was enough to take my breath away. He was carrying something in his hands. Looked like a rolled up poster.
“Do you mind?” he said to a few of the people pushed against the glass walls of the room, and they immediately moved.
“You’re that cowboy friend,” Mr. Berkley said, like it was an accusation. “I hope you know what you’re doing. Because here at Berkley and Brothers, we don’t tolerate such…such…outbursts!”
“This will just take a second,” Tag told him, calmly. Like crashing corporate meetings was a hobby he had.
He rolled out the poster against the glass and pressed it down with some adhesive. Then he crooked his finger at me to come closer.
I couldn’t feel my cheeks from smiling so hard. This time, everyone parted to make room for me so I could see what he’d put up.
Wanted: Sunshine Calloway to come home.
“Did the town make that for me?” I asked him.
“No, darlin. I did. I’ll go if you tell me, because I’m not one to get in the way of someone’s dreams. But, it occurred to me, during all our time together, I didn’t ever ask if you wanted to stay.”
“So, you came all this way to New York just to ask?”
“I did,” he said, then walked over and cupped both my cheeks in his hands.
“Sunshine Calloway, I like your big brain. I like the way you sit a horse. I love how you let my dad beat you at chess. Don’t think I don’t know you did that on purpose.
And I love seeing your hair on my pillow at night.
We started something, something good, and I want to see where it goes.
So, I’m asking if you would like to come home to Last Hope Gulch, where I can court you properly. ”
“I’ll go,” someone said behind me. “I’ll let you court me.”
“Sorry, ladies,” I told them. “This cowboy is mine.”
“Enough!” Mr. Berkley shouted. “Kaitlyn, I don’t know if you realize what this meeting was about, but we were going to offer you a partnership. The very first female to have a seat at the table!”
“Sorry, Mr. Berkley,” I said, not taking my eyes off Tag. “Got somewhere better I want to be.”
“Is that a yes?” he asked me.
I nodded.
“You sure?”
“I was already trying to sneak out of the room before you showed up,” I told him. “This isn’t a choice I’m making. This is a decision that’s already been made.”
“Well, then, let’s get to it.” Tag bent down and scooped me up under my legs in a traditional bridal carry. And the second he did, the entire conference room burst into applause.
Someone opened the door for us, and that is how Tag Durham carried me out of Berkley and Brothers for the last time.