7. Chapter 7
Chapter seven
Shelby
As soon as I’m alone, I shut the door behind me before leaning against the wood. Exhaustion rolls through me in waves, but it’s not fatigue chilling me to the bone.
My fingers itch to check behind the door where I left Ben’s body and only the last of my sanity keeps me from following through. Beyond that, I can’t help but to stare at my reflection and the woman I don’t recognize in the mirror.
Her eyes lost their sparkle a long time ago while the bead of blood pooling on her lip shines like a beacon of her stupidity. That woman let someone steal her soul.
What will this one do? Am I a fighter? Do I deserve to be here? I guess only time will tell but the sinking sensation in my gut is a warning to not follow the same path as before.
Shaking my head of the macabre feeling, I take the opportunity to wash my hands and face once more before giving in and dunking my head into the sink. I feel marginally refreshed when I emerge from the bathroom to find Nora and the guys lounging in the living area, with Cason nowhere to be found.
Since no one seems to be in a hurry, I tiptoe up the stairs and pass down the hall, ignoring the empty rooms to my right and left.
At the threshold to the primary suite, my eyes are immediately drawn to the straps still tied around the bed, followed by the blood stains I would normally be cleaning right about now.
On the nightstand beside where I sleep rests an empty glass, the water tossed in my face when I refused to cooperate this morning.
The familiar dread I’ve carried with me for years pools in my belly as I approach the closet and pull down my old ratty backpack.
I’m halfway through the drawer, after shoving clothes into it and contemplating shoes when I realize I can’t go downstairs with this shit. What will people think? Gah.
Instead, I change into the boots I owned in college, sturdy walking shoes that are better served for what I have to do now before drawing up the bed covers to disguise the blood and tethers.
There’s nothing here for me. Nothing.
Halfway to the door, I turn back though and after staring at my hand, I remove the last link to my husband before leaving it by the bed next to that empty glass.
I feel surprisingly light as I creep back down the stairs but when I emerge, Cason is standing in the living room facing the group.
He turns to me with an unreadable look, and I muster a wan smile which he does not return before he clears his throat and says, “It’s going to be full on dark soon.
We can go anyway and be out of here by morning or stay the night and avoid those fuckers in the dark. ”
“I vote we stay here,” Nora says, and my heart sinks to my toes. What if Ben’s brother returns? Or his parents?
What if someone finds his damn body? Shit. Fuck. Damn.
The others chime in with their agreement and I push back the panic pressing at my lungs. I could leave. There’s nothing stopping me. But what can I possibly do alone out there?
“Shelby?” Cason says.
“Yeah?” I rasp, meeting his gaze.
“We’re setting up watch. There’s enough of us to do teams.”
“Oh um, okay.”
Nodding, he says to the group at large, “Shelby and I will take the last shift. Everyone listen up. If you see anything unusual, you speak up. Doesn’t matter if it’s one of them or not.
If we stay quiet and avoid the windows, we might avoid them.
However, I recommend those who are sleeping do so upstairs. ”
With varying forms of agreement, we split off while I stand frozen in the hall. It’s only when Nora touches my shoulder that I pop out of my daze.
“Maybe you should lie down,” she says.
“Okay.”
Uneasy under her probing stare I drop my gaze as she takes my arm and leads me up the stairs. At the first door on the left, she pushes it open, and I look inside.
With plenty of room to grow as Ben used to say, this house has three bedrooms. Each one with the exception of the primary came with the furniture that was originally in the house, including a queen bed with a set of twin beds in the last.
To my shame, the bedding is probably covered in dust, but I push the thought away because there’s fuck all I can do about it now. We’ve never had guests here and I sure as shit wasn’t decorating a nursery for a baby that I hoped would never come.
All of this rolls through my brain while Nora pulls back the covers and when she looks up, I summon a wan smile and lay down, facing the wall.
“Is there anything else I can get you?” she whispers and when I shake my head, she exits the room.
Once she’s gone, I roll over and stare at the ceiling.
Despite knowing that these people have no reason to connect me to this place, after all, I never truly made it mine, shame still fills my soul at the thought of them finding the bindings on our bed.
Some things aren’t meant to be shared regardless of the circumstances, and this is why I rise to go and check, only to shrink against the wall when Larry and Nate walk by.
Mere seconds pass before Nate’s chortle echoes down the hall and I close my eyes as he says, “Oh man. Kinky shit.”
“Shut up,” Larry grumbles.
Kinky? He has no fucking idea.
Cason
Despite assigning shifts for watch, I’m still uneasy because I don’t know these people and the level of their possible incompetence. Besides, with the way my thoughts keep churning, I couldn’t sleep anyway, which is why I find myself outside, wandering through the fields.
Thankfully, the house is secluded between trees with fencing to ward off the neighbors’ livestock, not that it wouldn’t be easy to breach if it came down to it.
Since it’s quiet and there isn’t much in the way of easy food—I can’t believe I just thought that—there shouldn’t be any hordes coming through, or so I hope.
This group couldn’t survive something like that which begs the question, if it came down to it and something happened, what am I willing to do to help these people?
Nora with her bold stare and wiry frame seems capable of fighting if she had to.
Larry has the strength and size, but Nate, there’s something about him that doesn’t sit right and other than complaining, he hasn’t done much to inspire my confidence.
Shelby’s abilities remain a mystery, considering the state she’s in which leaves me on my own until I can suss out their strengths and weaknesses.
I’ve seen what the worst of humanity can do and I’m not about to trust a bunch of strangers to watch my back when I wouldn’t do it in the real world and this weird as fuck shit just made it ten times worse.
Frankly, I’m itching to get the fuck out of here, even though I suspect we’ll be facing much of the same anywhere we go. Out there, the memories aren’t as strong and I’m banking on that.
Unfortunately, other than an old muscle car in the barn turned garage, there are no other vehicles to borrow. Based on the blood stains in the living room, something went down and I’m guessing after that, the remainder of the family took what supplies they had and left.
Where are people going? There’s safety in numbers but also more opportunity to invite danger into the fold.
As much as I’d like to think people would come together in a time like this, there are still bad seeds and when it’s a fight to live scenario, they’re more likely to let the man standing next to them die. This is just one of many dilemmas we’re facing.
It’s easily seventy miles from here to where my family owns a cabin on the river.
In a car on a good day, that’s maybe a couple of hours.
However, on foot, it could take days we don't have.
Not only that but even if we had a car, what happens if we run into a group of those fuckers between here and there?
Are the major freeways blocked? What happens if we get caught on a two-lane highway with little in the way of options to escape?
I’m low on ammo. I don’t know if anyone else knows how to use a weapon. Hand to hand combat is not an option unless absolutely necessary.
Where can we find other weapons? This is the shit that rolls around in my brain while I walk through the darkness, guided by the moon, the single source of light out here.
Other than the crickets in the distance, it’s achingly quiet until Bo snorts beside me. As though he’s finally content with what he’s found, he raises his nose from the ground and shoves his head beneath my hand.
After stroking his silky fur, I turn back to the house, a dark outline in the distance.
I could leave and no one would know not until the morning.
Every instinct within me urges me to do so but I can’t and once again, a bitter tang coats my tongue because this is what I sacrificed my wife for and still, apparently, I haven’t learned my lesson.
Fuck it. I can only control so much. I’ll do the best I can, although, I’m tired just thinking about it.
Tomorrow is a new day but as I step back through the field, I have to wonder why we’re bothering at all. There’s no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. We’re doomed . . . for-fucking-ever.