Chapter 14 Saela #2
I cross to where he stands by the fire, close enough that his body heat soaks through my clothes. When his arms come around me, pulling me against his chest with careful strength, something in my nervous system finally starts to calm.
"You're shaking," he observes, large hands stroking down my back with a touch that's meant to soothe rather than arouse.
"I thought..." I start, then stop, not sure how to explain the terror that gripped me when he left. How the idea of him not coming back felt like losing something I'd just discovered I needed.
"I know." His voice rumbles through his chest where my ear rests, a vibration that grounds me more effectively than any words could. "I know what it's like to wait and wonder and imagine the worst possible outcome."
The understanding in his tone makes me look up, meeting ice-blue eyes that hold shadows of old pain. "The woman Shae told me about. You lost someone before."
His jaw tightens slightly, but he doesn't deflect or change the subject. "Her name was Lyanna. We tried to keep the relationship secret, but clan politics made that impossible. She died in a border conflict while I was away on another assignment."
The quiet anguish in his voice makes my chest ache with sympathy for wounds that clearly haven't fully healed. "I'm sorry."
"So am I." He cups my face with hands that dwarf my features, thumbs stroking across cheekbones with reverent gentleness. "But that's not going to happen again. I won't let it. Not when I've never felt like this before."
The fierce conviction in his voice makes something settle in my chest, fear giving way to trust that feels both foreign and absolutely necessary.
When he kisses me, slow and deep and full of promises I'm finally ready to believe, I let myself sink into the sensation of being chosen rather than claimed.
"The guards are all on high alert," he murmurs against my lips. "Bronn has doubled patrols, and everyone knows to watch for Stonevein movement. You're safe here."
I want to believe him completely, but practical concerns nag at the edges of growing contentment. "What if Sera told them something before you caught her? What if they know more about this place than we think?"
"Then we'll deal with it." His confidence should be arrogant, but somehow it just feels reassuring. "Whatever they know, whatever they're planning, we're ready."
"Are we?" The question emerges before I can stop it, skepticism born from years of assuming the worst and being proven right more often than not.
Kai studies my face with intensity that makes my pulse quicken, ice-blue eyes searching for something I'm not sure I'm ready to reveal. "You still don't trust that you're safe here."
It's a statement rather than a question, an assessment that hits uncomfortably close to truth. "I don't know how to trust that anywhere is safe. Every place I've ever felt secure eventually became dangerous. Every person I've depended on either left or died or..."
My voice breaks slightly on the admission, vulnerability bleeding through despite attempts to maintain composure. The longhouse has started to feel like home in ways that terrify me, but experience has taught me that attachment only makes loss more devastating.
"I'm not going anywhere," Kai says with conviction that resonates in my bones. "And neither are you, if I have anything to say about it."
The promise makes warmth bloom in my chest even as practical fear whispers warnings about trusting too completely. "You can't control everything that happens."
"No," he agrees, large hands still framing my face with gentleness that makes my throat tight. "But I can control my choices. And I choose to fight for this, for us, for whatever future we can build together."
The words settle like balm on wounds I didn't realize were still bleeding, hope replacing fear in gradual increments that feel sustainable rather than overwhelming. When I kiss him again, it's with acceptance that feels like coming home after years of wandering.
But even as I sink into the safety of his arms, nagging worry about Sera and what she might represent continues to gnaw at the edges of contentment.
Something about her presence here feels too convenient, too perfectly timed to be coincidence.
And if she's been in contact with the Stonevein, if she's told them anything about Frostfang defenses or about me. ..
"What has Sera told you?" I ask, pulling back enough to see his expression clearly.
Kai's jaw tightens with frustration. "Nothing useful. She admits she's Stonevein but won't explain why she came here, why she tried to take you, what she hoped to accomplish. Just keeps saying there's more we don't understand."
The evasiveness makes my skin crawl with familiar dread. "That's not good."
"No, it's not." His ice-blue eyes hold grim assessment that speaks to military experience I sometimes forget he possesses. "But Bronn's interrogating her. She'll talk eventually."
I want to share his confidence, but something about Sera's behavior triggers warning bells I can't ignore.
The way she looked at me when she claimed another human needed help, the familiarity in her green eyes that I'd dismissed too easily—it all feels like pieces of a puzzle I should be able to solve but can't quite fit together.
I'd been so wrapped up in my own problems that I hadn't even considered that they would need me to tell them what I saw. At first, it was because I didn't know who to trust and now all my problems from before had been pushed out of my mind.
But I can help.
"I know why she's here."
Kai's expression sharpens with immediate attention. "What do you mean?"
The longhouse suddenly feels too small, walls closing in as implications cascade through my mind in terrifying sequence. "She wasn't trying to kidnap me randomly. She knows who I am, what I've seen. She's here because the Stonevein need to know if I've told anyone about what they're doing."
"Saela." His voice carries urgent intensity that makes my pulse race. "What did you see?"
I meet his ice-blue gaze with fear that probably shows too clearly in my gray-green eyes. The truth I've been carrying feels like poison in my veins, a secret that could destroy any chance of safety I might have found.
But he deserves to know. If I'm putting him and his clan in danger by being here, he deserves to understand exactly what kind of threat I represent.
"They're trying to get their magic back," I say quietly, words dropping into silence like stones into still water. "I saw them kill my friend Nia, using her blood in some kind of ritual. They think human blood is the key to restoring what they lost."
He stares at me in complete shock. "Well, that changes everything."