Chapter Thirteen #3
“Me and… Mom and me… Mom and I have been talking about some math programs,” Jamie began with difficulty.
“Dr. Grace helped me get into this cool online math camp where you do everything virtually and I’ve got another month to go in the spring program and we get to work together with all these other kids from all over the place who are interested in the same stuff I am like cryptanalysis and she found me an online program to help me with my verbal skills too so I can score good—score well on these tests that you have to take to get into these summer programs and she thinks I might even get into CTY, which is pretty much the best—”
Daniel raised a hand to slow the verbal flood for a moment. “Whoa.” He knelt in front of Jamie, one knee on the grass. “CTY?”
“The Center for Talented Youth up at Johns Hopkins,” she said with a tentative smile.
“Johns Hopkins? Wow.”
Her smile grew. “But if I’m gonna try for it, I gotta work on my verbal skills too and me and Dr. Grace talked about it and she told me I gotta decide what I want most of all and she’ll help and she don’t mind if I don’t ever do no chores again if’n I’m doing what I want but if I do it I’mgonnahavelesstimeforthebees. ”
That last sentence came out in such a rush that Daniel almost couldn’t decipher what she’d said, but there was a tiny hiccupping sob at the end.
Jamie’s eyes went wide, but she managed a trembling smile as she waited for his response.
So that’s what all this is all about. He looked up at Mel. For a moment, there was a pleased look on her face. Then, a bit too late, it changed to a confused frown as she took her hand off Jamie’s shoulder.
Jamie must have been processing all the changes that pursuing her love of mathematics and cryptanalysis would make in her life. That had been what Grace had meant. No wonder Jamie had been so distracted.
“Hey, kiddo. You can’t imagine how proud I am of—” Suddenly he had an armful of skinny, trembling girl. “Hey,” he said in a gentle voice, careful not to touch her bare skin. He hadn’t worn his gloves to check the hives. The bees would have disliked the unfamiliar smell of new leather.
Mel’s hand went over her mouth as she watched them. She was standing on her “injured” foot with no trouble at all.
“Jamie?” he said.
There was a sniff from his shoulder.
“I’m so proud of you, you know that?” He was surprised at the roughness in his voice. “I think you can do anything you set your mind to, and I think that the girls and I have been really lucky to have you here in the apiary these last three years.”
“I’m not going nowheres!” She pulled away, her face wet with tears. “I mean, unless I get in, and then I’d only be gone for a few weeks and I’ll still be able to help some—”
“I know you will, but you are amazing, Jamie,” He dug a paper towel out of his pocket and dabbed at her cheeks. “I think the world needs you as a mathematician and cryptologist more than I need you as an assistant beekeeper.”
“But I’m not going no…anywhere right now, really. I wasn’t wanting… I didn’t want to leave you having to deal with the girls all by yourself with everything so busy and all and I…” Those big cornflower-blue eyes were swimming with tears as she looked from him to Mel and lowered her voice.
“You’ve been so… You’ve been sadder and sadder lately and I was wanting to tell you about the camp and the tests and…
But I didn’t want you to think I didn’t love you or the girls no more.
Dr. Grace told me that just ’cause she married Mr. Nick and she’s having Lily it don’t…
doesn’t change nothing. She still loves me too.
More than afore ’cause she’s so happy. But you’ve been so sad.
” There was a quick look at Mel again. “I was worried you might think I cared more about math and studying for stupid old tests than you and the bees.”
Daniel finally shut her up by hugging her so tight that she couldn’t continue her tirade. He looked up to find Mel wiping her eyes.
“Jamie, nothing would ever make me stop loving you. I’m so glad you’re going to do something that you really want to do for yourself.
” He waited for Jamie to take a shaky breath.
“And I’m glad to know someone like you is going to be working on all those big problems out there, because when you put your mind to something, you don’t quit.
If anyone thinks they have an unsolvable puzzle, they better watch out if Jamie Lynn Campbell is on the case. ”
He held her away from him and fished another paper towel out of his pocket, watching as she wiped her face and then blew her nose with it.
“Don’t you worry about me. I’m fine. The girls are fine too.
They’d probably be fine even if we walked away and left ’em alone for the summer.
” He leaned in to whisper. “They’d probably prefer it that way, if we asked them. ”
Jamie smiled tremulously. “You ain’t—aren’t upset then?”
“Oh, hon.” He hugged her again. “I’m about as far from upset as you can get. Does Dr. Grace know about your decision?”
She shook her head. “She and Mom talked about it and said that I could still come up here and stay while Mom worked, and that I could use the desk up in her old bedroom, but that I had to get some fresh air and exercise every day too. They said I had to decide, though. Mom don’t—doesn’t want me to go too fast.” She looked up at Mel, then at him. “I wanted to tell you first.”
“Thank you, Jamie. I can’t tell you what it means to me that you did.” He got to his feet feeling intense pride and protectiveness…and loss. His little assistant beekeeper was growing up fast, and he was surprised at how painful it felt.
Jamie gave her face one more swipe of her sleeve and smiled up at him, then reached out and took his hand.
Jamie and the bright sunlit day winked away.
Jamie was holding someone’s hand. But this was a taller and older Jamie, walking up the hill toward the house. When she looked down, Daniel saw a familiar face. Mel’s face, but not Mel’s face. Pale skin, a pointed chin, eyes of ever-changing blue hazel, and dark brown hair that was always too long.
“So, Zach, are you going to be a beekeeper like your dad?” Jamie asked.
Those eyes. His mother’s face.
I don’t want to see this.
Mel’s child. His child. Their Zach, holding Jamie’s hand and looking up at her with Mel’s eyes.
The curly brown head shook in negation. “I’m gonna be a writer. Like my momma.”
Shut it off now. Stop tormenting me. He’ll never be born. Shut it OFF!
Zach’s face flickered.
Daniel stumbled and everything faded into a painful blur.