Chapter Nineteen #2
“That’s why I dropped him off,” said Nick “He needed to clear his head or wash his brain or…commune with his bees or something.”
Mel chuckled.
“I hope you understand we need to talk about your parents and what they know about the mountain, about the gifts.” Nick sat on the arm of the couch.
“You don’t have to worry about them.”
Nick raised his hand. “I understand. Given your talent and your mom’s, I know they’re more than aware of the need for secrecy. But we should still make sure we’re all on the same page.”
Mel nodded. “Oh, trust me, we are. My dad has rules about using these abilities, even talking about them.”
“Well, please reassure them that our mountain is safe,” Grace said. “And that they’re welcome here. Today was an anomaly.”
“I’m the one that got Daniel tangled up in this. I’m the one they were after.”
“It’s not your fault,” Grace said.
“I’m not so sure about that.” Mel pinched the bridge of her nose. “Maybe some coffee would help get rid of this feeling.”
“Well, I am always up for coffee.” Nick stood. “I’ll dish us all up some of that cobbler.”
Mel nodded, although she wasn’t sure if the cobbler would stay down. She looked toward the window as Nick busied himself in the kitchen. “It’s a long walk from up there,” she said, half to herself. He prefers being out there on the mountain, when he could be here with us. With me.
“He’s got a lot on his mind,” Grace said. “His gift is… Well, it’s overwhelming, and he’s been struggling with it for a while. But I’m sure you know that.”
“Yes. Mine… Well, my parents were so accepting and understanding. But it is a struggle sometimes. I do my best not to use it to manipulate people,” Mel said.
Grace nodded. “I’m sure you do.”
“But yours. You’re a healer and you sense gifts in other people?”
“Healer, yes. But no, I can’t sense gifts,” said Grace. “Not the way you think. But when I was using my gift on you, I did sense something a couple of times.”
Mel remembered. “Yes. When I realized I was using my gift, I’m afraid I slammed my shield up really fast,” Mel said. “You felt that?”
“It felt a bit like a mental slap on the wrist,” Grace said.
Tension. Worry. Confusion.
“Sorry about that.”
“After today, I’m starting to wish I could sense gifts in others,” Grace said. “There seem to be more of us out there than we thought.”
Confusion. Tension. Fear.
“I was certainly surprised,” Mel said. “But happy too.” She frowned. “Well, until Nino. Are you worried about exposure? Do you think Nino might…?” She trailed off.
“I don’t think so. I doubt Nino would risk revealing his own ability.” Grace gave that gentle smile of hers. “And I believe our secrets, my gift and Daniel’s, are safe with you and your parents.”
Mel frowned. “I don’t think Daniel considers his visions a gift.”
“There have been times when I have had a problem seeing my gift in a positive light.” Grace fingered the firefly pendant that Mel had noticed before. “It puts a great burden on us. We can’t save everyone, sometimes not even the people we love.” Loss. Regret.
Mel winced at the emotional undercurrents.
“Daniel has saved my life more than once. Who knows how many babies he saved by stopping that virus,” Mel said, knowing she was projecting the anger and doubt she felt.
“Yet he’s still tormented by his gift. It doesn’t seem fair.
” Frustration rolled out of her like a wave.
Grace gasped, and the dishes on Nick’s tray rattled.
Mel’s hand went to her mouth. “I’m so sorry. Every emotion in this room is like fingernails on a chalkboard right now, and I’m broadcasting like crazy. I’m sorry.” Breathe in, breathe out. She was going to wear a hole in the pendant.
“That’s okay, it was just a lot to feel at once.” Grace cleared her throat. “What do you usually do when this happens?”
Nick set the tray on the coffee table and sat on the arm of one of the chairs.
Mel picked up a mug of coffee with shaking hands. “It hasn’t happened often… actually ever.” She tugged the throw from the couch around her shoulders. “Good thing, I guess.” She felt as if she had a bone-deep chill and couldn’t stop shaking.
“It could be that going into our cave could help you with that. Did Daniel talk to you about it?” Grace said.
“He did. But he wasn’t exactly sure whether your cave would recognize my gift, or my mom’s,” Mel said. “They might not be connected to this place.”
“Well, we are feeling our way with all of this, but—”
“My gift tells me that they are connected,” Nick said.
Grace nodded. “And I think our cave will absolutely help you. It gives you control and stability.”
Mel sat forward, almost spilling her coffee. “That’s it!” She pointed. “That’s… Wait… How did he see that?”
Grace and Nick exchanged a look. They probably thought she’d lost it.
She closed her eyes trying to remember. “He’s like Daniel, this Nino.”
“Right…” Nick drew the word out.
She opened her eyes. “But he said something strange, up there. He wasn’t interested in my laptop or Ricci’s notes any longer.”
“Okay…” Nick said.
“He said that the notes were their problem now. That he was looking for something more important.”
“Yeah. Daniel caught that,” Nick said. “He thought he heard the word cave.”
“He did,” Mel said. “Nino said he saw a red-haired lady tell me about a cave that would give me more control and stabilize my gift.”
Both Nick and Grace looked stunned.
Grace tried to wrap words around it. “But… I just… We just…”
“He had a vision of…this conversation,” Nick said. “But when?”
Mel said. “I think I know. I ran into a guy in a hooded cape behind my dad’s stage. He grabbed me and froze, just like Daniel does. I never saw his face.” Mel stared at Nick. “I think it was Nino. I think that’s when he decided something was more important than his contract.”
“Makes sense,” Nick said.
What would’ve happened if Daniel hadn’t followed her to Texas? Who would’ve gotten shot or worse when Nino tried to kidnap her? Her dad…? She shivered and almost spilled her coffee.
“Maybe coffee isn’t the best idea for you,” Grace said.
Mel waved her hand in negation. “No. It’s perfect. I just need to warm up.”
Grace rubbed at her temples.
“But you need your rest and I’m keeping you up.”
“Not at all. We’re not going to bed until he’s safely home,” Grace said.
“I just… I don’t understand why he’s avoiding me when I…” When I need him to be here and hold me and…love me back. “Well, I could have made him feel better, if I weren’t…” Now she was projecting doubt and hurt. She could see it on their faces.
She stood with the coffee mug in one hand and the throw held around her. “Sorry,” she said shakily. “I know I’m upsetting you, but I can’t shield right now, and I guess I can’t make anyone feel better about anything, much less Daniel.”
“Mel…” Grace said as Nick stood.
“I’ll be all right in a few minutes. I just need some space.” She retreated toward the sunroom, tears threatening.
Grace said, “Let her go.”
But Mel didn’t stop in the sunroom. She left through the side door and went into the walking garden, with its singing wind chimes and bird feeders.
It was dark, but there was enough light from the moon to find her way to the flagstone path. When she was far enough from the house to feel safe, she slumped onto a bench and took a long, scalding sip from her mug. It took the edge off the chill she felt and helped her choke down the tears.
So much pain. Even calm, collected, and maternal Grace was full of regrets and second-guessing herself about all the people out there she couldn’t save.
Millions of them. And Nick had his own regrets and pain, but he was the one who kept Grace sane.
His humor, his common sense, his down-to-earth realism. Even his food.
Then there was Daniel.
Taking another sip, she thought about how he struggled with his gift, how it had nearly killed him, would have killed him someday if Granny Lily hadn’t intervened. Even then, what if it still might kill him?
There are many paths to follow. Nothing is fixed.
It only occurred to her now that fixed could be interpreted in more than one way.
Damn oracles.
Mel wondered how many times Daniel had awakened from a dream and despaired about the outcome. How many times he had seen something happen to family or friends—something he’d been unable to change?
Then there had been Francesca, who he kept going back to until he had changed her fate, despite what it did to him. The same way he had taken Jamie’s hand this afternoon, trying to save them. The same way he had touched Mel again and again, trying to save her.
How many horrors had he seen that he would never share with her or anyone? How many more would he suffer through in the future?
“It’s not like putting your hand in a garbage disposal,” she whispered. “It’s like putting your heart in there.”
That was why he kept pushing her away. It wasn’t Mel. He didn’t want anyone in his life.
The tears were threatening again. If he did feel anything for her, being around her must be torture. Wanting to touch her, but afraid of what he might see next…
Her phone rang, startling her. For a moment, she couldn’t remember where it was, where she was. She fumbled for it and pulled it out. Lance. Good. A distraction.
“Hey,” she said in a shaky voice.
“Babe, I am awestruck. After everything you’ve been through, that article is visionary.”
Mel winced at the word. “Not the best adjective at the moment.”
“Whatever you want to call it, short stuff. They’ve agreed to publish it as is.”
She tried for enthusiasm and missed. “That’s great.”
“Okay…” Lance was perceptive enough to pick up on her mood. “I know it’s been tough. I know losing your home and all your stuff… Well, I wouldn’t survive that.”
Mel smiled. He probably wouldn’t. Lance loved his stuff.