Chapter Fifty-One Charlotte
Chapter Fifty-One
Charlotte
I stand in the middle of the empty terminal, not surprised that there’s no one else here with me. I’ve been on my own for as long as I can remember. Long before I ever left Kansas for New York City. I glance down at my now-restored dress, one of my favorites from my walk-in closet in Lucifer’s penthouse. A black vintage Prada. Much to Lucifer’s disappointment.
“Grand Central Station?” a voice sounds behind me. “Interesting choice, if a little cliché.”
An achingly familiar voice.
I find him standing there, hands in his pockets, looking as devilishly handsome as ever. His hair is a bit mussed, and his tie is loosened from where he’s stripped off his suit coat to reveal the trim cut of his vest underneath, but I prefer him this way.
Relaxed. Unguarded. Undone.
I wet my lips, feeling lightheaded and fuzzy. I’m unable to shake the feeling that this is all a dream.
“Based on what I’m wearing, I’d say I have some reason to worry.” I glance toward the gates, to where the train should be. I don’t know how I know, but ... I think I’m ... supposed to get on it and go wherever it leads.
“It looks like whatever you want it to here,” Lucifer says, taking a small step toward me.
“And where’s here?” I rub my arms apprehensively.
“The in-between,” he says slowly, carefully. He’s never slow or careful. “Your kind might call it Limbo.”
I go still, blinking rapidly.
Limbo.
I’m dead?
I should be concerned, but instead a drowsy sort of ... peace settles over me.
Like all the tension and stress I’ve ever felt has melted away.
I feel the unmistakable urge to move toward him then. To tell him I’m sorry for what I did, to both him and me. For making him fall in love with me. Though even when I feared the worst would come because of it, I ... couldn’t bring myself to regret him. Us.
But my heels won’t move forward.
In this place, there’s only one path you can take.
Though I don’t know which direction I’m headed. Up ... or down.
After an entire life of working toward up, I ... honestly hope I go the other way.
“This is where I stepped off the train when I first arrived here, in New York.” I glance around at the glittering walls and high-vaulted ceilings of the terminal. “I felt ... safe here. Like I could breathe for the first time in weeks.”
One of the boards beside us flashes, announcing one minute until the train arrives.
I look toward him. “Am I going ...?” My voice trails off.
He steps closer. “I’m afraid I can’t say until you’re already well on your way, considering ...” He gestures to the splintered chair leg I now realize is clutched in my hand.
Right. Murder. So far things aren’t looking good for me.
“I killed Mark,” I say.
“Yes.” He nods.
I glance to the gate where I’m supposed to go. “He’ll forgive me.”
Lucifer knows exactly who I’m talking about.
He tips his head to the side, pressing his lips together. Ever doubtful. “How can you be so certain?”
“Because He gave you to me.” Suddenly, it feels like a breeze rolls over my feet, releasing me, and I’m able to step toward him then. I slowly close the distance between us. “When I escaped from my old life, I ... ran into the forest, and the shadows there, they sheltered me, protected me, and I prayed to God that He’d send me someone who would keep me safe, protect me at all costs, who would never raise a hand to me.”
Lucifer snorts a little at that, lifting a brow as he smirks at me.
That wicked, crooked grin that tempts me, and has so many others before.
But this one is different. Just for me.
A feeling of warmth, like I’m finally home, spreads through me.
“Well, not without my consent, I mean.” I beam at him.
He shakes his head, still staring down at me. “I don’t understand, Charlotte. How can you still have faith in Him? After all this?” He gestures to the empty terminal around us.
I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him down so I can kiss him.
Like always, he takes my gentle movement and twists it into his own.
Into something darker. More delicious.
I bury my hands in his hair, moaning against his tongue.
If God has a problem with me fucking His fallen son in the middle of Limbo ... well, I guess I’m already the queen of Hell, anyway.
I break the kiss between us, gently pushing my hand against his chest to keep him from claiming my lips once more. If Lucifer had his way, I’m not certain I’d ever get to wear any of the clothes he bought me ever again.
“Don’t you see, Lucifer? He led me to you. You’re the answer to my prayer, which means ...” I brush a hand over his cheek, hoping he’ll understand, but all I see in his eyes is a deep-seated hurt, a resentment for the Father who never loved him in the way he needed Him to. “He didn’t abandon you, or me,” I whisper. “He’s still here. In everything.”
“Forgive me if I don’t find that revelation as comforting as you do, darling.” Lucifer’s smile fades, his stance turning stiff as he frowns. But he doesn’t try to hide his unease from me. Not this time. “And I’m afraid my Mother might have had something to do with it this time.”
“Your ... Mother?” My jaw pops open a little as he steps back.
Giving me the space I need to leave.
“Lilith,” he says, smiling at how my eyes go wide.
I reach for him, suddenly craving his touch. But he gives a subtle shake of his head.
“But that’s a story for another time,” he says.
I glance toward the golden clock above the information desk in the middle of the terminal, just as the sound of the train arriving below rumbles under my feet.
I startle at the sound, my eyes going wide as my breath becomes shallow, quick.
“It’ll wait for you. Don’t worry,” he says, easily reading the panic in my expression. “Tell me something, Charlotte.”
“Anything.”
“Why did you decide to come work for my company?”
I blink.
It’s not the question I expected him to ask. Not at all.
But I answer him all the same.
“I ... knew it was the one place my father wouldn’t come looking for me. You represented a safe haven. Or so I thought.” I sigh, realizing how thoroughly I underestimated my own father’s hatred.
He inhales a deep breath, his stance widening as he steps back with a knowing, satisfied grin. “If you ask me, it sounds like you saved yourself, then.” Behind him, cast as shadows on the wall, I see the light move as his wings unfurl. “I’ve always fancied the idea of free will, you see.”
An announcer’s voice comes over the station’s speakers, warning that the train is about to leave. Now, I know I must really be dead, because no severely underpaid subway attendant would ever sound so ... happy.
Lucifer and I look to one another, silent for a beat.
“Do you ... want to go to Him?” Lucifer nods toward the gate.
And I suddenly realize there’s a strong chance that where I’m going, he might not be able to follow me. I shake my head. “Not if you can’t go with me.”
He gives me a sad smile, like he already knows what I’m thinking. “I’m afraid I’m no longer welcome there, darling.” But he doesn’t step toward me.
He holds himself still, offering the choice to me.
Even though I know from the longing in his eyes that it ... hurts him.
I swallow hard, surprised when a tear falls from my chin as all the implications rush through me. The options laying themselves out in my mind, a scrolling spread of opportunities.
But in the end, there’s really no question of who I’ll choose.
My heart already knows.
I belong to him, and him, me.
“I want to stay with you, Lucifer,” I say, reaching for him.
He exhales audibly, total utter relief. His mouth parts on a slight groan, a shaky chuckle tearing from his lips before a slow smile lights his face up. Making him glow. He steps into me again, pulling me into his arms as I whisper, “I love you.”
His smile widens, and the joy behind it is so bright and mischievous, it feels a little like I’m staring straight into the sun, and I realize it’s the first time I’ve ever truly seen him smile that way. Full-toothed and wide. Without any of the shadows of his past haunting his face. “I love you too, Charlotte. Vicious and destructive as that love may be.”
I glance over my shoulder. Downstairs. To where the train waits.
“Are you certain?” he asks. Like he’s afraid I might change my answer.
I nod. “Yes, I’m certain.”
“Then I’m afraid you’re going to have to forgive me one last time, darling.” He casts a wayward glimpse toward the ceiling. “Sorry, Dad.”
Suddenly, he shoves his hand forward, burying it deep inside my chest like he means to rip out my heart as I choke on the light he’s just shoved inside me.
“I’m afraid this one is mine.” Lucifer smirks.