Epilogue - Present Day
Damn, will this evening ever end? I was ready to escape the constant cheerfulness, loving talk, and even more affectionate glances.
Did they not know how much it hurt those of us who had no anamchara to witness it all?
Half of the entire family had their other half, well, excluding Mamó, Granny.
She’d lost hers, but they’d had decades together before she did.
I tossed back another mouthful of whiskey and focused on the burn down my throat and into my stomach.
As my resentful thoughts bubbled up inside of me, I tried to smother them.
Who was I to wish to spoil the holidays for my family?
Even if I were fated never to have a wife and family, I did love that my siblings and cousins would.
I had to find a way to live vicariously through their relationships with their spouses and children.
The way things were going, the commune would be overrun with children by the time everyone was settled and finished having kids.
Just because none of them would be mine wasn’t a reason to be a dick.
Needing to stretch my legs, I got up and walked the length of the room until I came to the large windows overlooking the back of the house.
In the darkness, you couldn’t see much, but I could picture what it looked like.
As I stared out, my mind went to the reason I would never be lucky enough to have a wife and family.
I couldn’t blame it on anyone but myself. If I weren’t the person I was, with the proclivities I had, then I would probably already be married. It was all the fault of my wicked desires. I snorted at the word choice.
Wicked Desires was the name of the sex clubs that were part of the family’s various business endeavors.
And it had all been my idea to venture into them.
My family would’ve never thought of those if it hadn’t been for me.
They’d been asking about top-performing businesses, which had led to the past, when the family was still involved in illegal activities.
While we didn’t force anyone to prostitute for us or sell anyone as sex slaves, there had been prostitution, though only by those who were willing. The adage sex sells was true.
However, we wouldn’t go back to prostitution.
That’s when I mentioned what about BDSM clubs.
My idea initially raised eyebrows, but after discussing it and running the ROI, they expressed a willingness to consider it.
That had been ten years ago. I’d worked to build it into what it is today.
And part of that knowledge came from knowing what people wanted when it came to their kinky sides. After all, I was one of them.
None of my brothers or cousins were choir boys or into plain old missionary sex, in the dark, with your clothes on.
However, I seemed to be wired differently from them.
I had darker desires. Desires that while I had my pick of partners to do scenes with and to have sex with, it was doubtful I’d find someone who could live with all sides of me.
The kind of woman I needed was not only adventurous on the sexual side and into the same types of kinks as I was, but she had to be able to live with the reputation of my family, the shadow of being still considered Mafia, the hidden life we lived when it came to the Hounds, and more.
Where in the world can one find a person like that?
Nowhere. Which was why I’d end my days alone.
There was no anamchara waiting in the wings for me.
“Hey, Cathal, get your ass over here. It’s your turn. I need a break,” Fallon yelled across the room.
I turned back to the table. He stood up and gestured for me to take his spot.
I wanted to say no, but I couldn’t. If I alienated my family, I’d be left with no one.
And I didn’t want them asking questions and digging into my head.
They all believed we’d end up happily ever after. I refused to destroy that belief.
“Hold on, I’ll be there in a minute. Let me refill my drink first,” I called back.
Fallon gave me a chin lift and then walked away from the table.
Since they had to wait for me, the others took a short break to grab a drink, snack, or use the bathroom.
I replenished my whiskey and then took my place.
I’d spend another hour downstairs, then head to bed.
I only had a few more days before we’d be flying back to Florida, and the New Year would start soon after.
The others could look forward to the new year.
I knew it wouldn’t hold anything new for me.