Chapter 11 So Did I
So Did I
Seeing Kian’s number on the screen, I snapped up the call. “Hello? Kian?”
His deep chuckle set my mind at ease.
I closed my eyes, flattened my palm over my tummy to calm the nauseating certainty that I had in fact injured Isaiah, and quietly exhaled.
“Why do you sound so worried? Are you like one of those millennial kids who balks at the idea of a voice call?”
I barked out a harsh laugh, my voice strident. “You’ve never called me! I thought it was an emergency!”
“It’s not,” he assured me, his voice soft. He waited a beat then all his words tumbled out at once. “Want to skip town for the day? I haven’t been to Mistlevale yet.”
It took me a moment to separate the avalanche of syllables into separate words, but one word stood out from the rest.
Mistlevale.
Exactly halfway between me and the life I left behind. I swallowed hard. Gary rarely ventured out to the charming Christmas town. He certainly never took me after the first couple of years we were together.
I shook my head. Why did I stay with him so long when he gave me so very little?
It hadn’t always been like that.
In the beginning, we were a family. His coldness crept in slowly, like summer nights cooling in preparation for autumn. The daytime heat made you forget the coolness of night until you woke up one day to find the trees barren and the earth covered in frost.
I huffed out an exasperated breath. The chances of running into him were slim to none.
“It’s okay, Bridge,” Kian’s warm voice assured me softly. “I understand if this is crossing a line.”
“What?” I exclaimed. “No! It’s not you—”
“It’s me?” he teased.
I snorted and drew in a breath. “Mistlevale’s a bit close to the life I left behind is all.”
Sage Ridge felt too close some days.
“No problem,” he answered immediately. “We can do something else.”
He would change his plans to spend time with me?
“What about the beach?” I quickly offered. I needed a buffer, something to brace me to breach the space between now and then. A little sea spray. “Can we go there first then head to Mistlevale?”
“Beach first, home to shower, Mistlevale for dinner. Deal?”
“Deal!”
When we parted ways after the beach later that morning, it was with Isaiah yelling back to me every ten steps.
He jumped up and down, his arm waving in the air animatedly. “I’ll see you later, Bridge!”
Spinning under his dad’s arm, he continued, “You’re coming, right?”
Cupping his hands around his mouth, he clarified, “To the Christmas place?”
Freezing in place, his hands smacking both cheeks, he yelled, “ARE THERE PRESENTS?”
I laughed as I turned around to wave one last time.
Kian’s wide grin as he looked back over his shoulder made me stumble.
Walking down a sun-soaked sidewalk, that tall, muscled, beautiful man, hand-in-hand with his small son bouncing along beside him, looking back over his shoulder with a happy grin? I’m surprised I didn’t completely humiliate myself by swooning like a Victorian maiden.
My heart burst to see him happy while my tummy dipped. The ache I had grown accustomed to carrying around Kian had deepened, reminding me not only of everything we’d collectively lost, but everything we wouldn’t ever be.
But his happiness?
It trumped everything.
I laughed out loud, pushed up to my tiptoes and raised my arm high, waving back wildly.
Kian shook his head with a wide grin before turning and tugging a beaming Isaiah alongside him.
An hour later, I ran outside and threw open the passenger side door of his truck.
Kian reached out his hand to help me inside.
The warm, steady clasp of a strong, male hand around mine warmed me like a healthy shot of Irish whiskey.
There were things I missed. Things I’d dreamed about.
Things I didn’t think I’d ever get to experience again, not in any real sense.
Those little things, the dozens of miniscule acts and gestures unique to every couple.
It was the little things in the end that bound two hearts.
I glanced into the back seat to greet Isaiah. My eyebrows flew up in surprise. “Where’s Ace?”
Kian’s hand moved to the gear shift as his eyes dipped to my lap. “Buckle up.”
I rolled my eyes and yanked my seatbelt, then remembering his wife, I spun around in my seat to face him, eyes wide.
“Kian, I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me.” I laid my hand on his corded forearm. “Thank you for looking after me.”
His face softened. “I’ll always look after you, Bridget.” He smiled and jerked his chin up at my lap. “Now, buckle up.”
“Yes, S—” I clamped my mouth shut.
Alone within the intimate confines of his truck, on our way to dinner in romantic Mistlevale, the flirting I considered harmless carried a little more gravity.
He chuckled beside me. “Not so brave when there’s no one else around, are you?”
I laughed and crinkled my nose as embarrassment painted my cheeks pink. “You’ve got my number.”
He slanted me a side-eyed glance. “I do.” He took a deep breath and exhaled with a soft laugh. “Unfortunately for both of us, you’re safe with me.”
I did not miss the deep pang of disappointment but brushed it off. Keeping things platonic was better for both of us.
God knew we could both use an unattached friend.
On the drive to Mistlevale, he smiled easily and laughed freely, treating me to the man I was beginning to see more and more often.
“We’re going to have to find Isaiah a present,” I informed him with a chuckle as we parked. I jumped down from the truck and walked around to his side.
He snorted. “I know. You have any ideas?”
“I haven’t been here in years,” I mused as I took a good look around. I used to love this place, even before Gary.
My lips curved into a smile as I scanned the nearest storefronts.
Mistlevale celebrated Christmas and the jolly elf all year round. They were famous for their extraordinary storefront window displays that evolved with the seasons though the theme was always Christmas. Twinkling lights and evergreen trimmed the eaves all year round, and mistletoe ran rampant.
His eyebrows flew up. “So, it’s not new to you?”
My face heated. “I used to live about an hour from here.”
“You said,” he nodded. “The life you left behind.”
I walked along beside him.
“You know, in certain cultures, that statement would invite a sharing of sorts,” he teased. With his hand firm against the small of my back, he shifted me to the inside of the sidewalk.
I closed my eyes briefly at the sweetness of that gesture. I could not afford to fall in love with this man. And he would make it all too easy.
I bumped him playfully with my shoulder. “I divorced my ex-husband two years ago. It became final a couple of months ago.”
“He dragged it out.”
I nodded. “He’s not a good man.”
He moved closer to me, walking with his bicep nudging my shoulder. Voice tight, he asked, “He hurt you?”
I shook my head. “Not physically.”
He nodded, his face grim. “He hurt you.”
“He hurt me,” I agreed quietly.
His calloused hand wrapped around mine as he jerked his chin up toward the storefront ahead of us. “You want to help me pick out a present for the baby?”
I squeezed his hand. “I would love that. Nadine is due in November. We can look for Christmas-themed babywear!”
His smile didn’t quite conceal the sadness in his eyes. Whether it was for me or himself, I couldn’t tell. He quirked a dark brow. “If I remember correctly, Christmas-themed babywear is exciting.”
I rolled my eyes at his cluelessness and stressed, “So exciting!”
Traipsing up and down the main street, we popped in and out of different stores, compiling treasures for Aaron and Nadine’s baby and Isaiah.
I found a Lego advent set. It wasn’t the season, but he’d love opening all those tiny windows and building the mini-Lego sets inside.
Kian bought a set of Santa bibs, Christmas patterned onesies, and a reindeer sleeper complete with tiny antlers and little hoofs to fold over tiny hands and baby toes.
The faintly bitter taste of an old regret crawled up the back of my throat.
Because when I was ready for a baby, Gary claimed Jakey was as much mine as his. When I pushed, he proclaimed he didn’t want any more children.
After the incident, he said it was just as well I didn’t have any of my own.
As much as I’d wanted a child, one he couldn’t take away from me, I was almost glad to have escaped a lifelong tie to that man.
“You okay?”
“What?” My eyebrows shot up in surprise at the intent look on his face. I blinked under his scrutiny. “I’m fine.”
He smiled softly. “I lost you there for a minute.”
I shook my head. “I’m okay.”
He opened his mouth to say more but I stayed him with my hand, murmuring, “Enough sadness for one day, Kian.”
Turning away, he picked up a tiny ‘Favorite Uncle’ T-shirt. “What do you think?”
Picturing Isaiah preening, I huffed out a laugh. “He’ll love it.”
I picked up a soft, fleece elf hat and a tiny matching sweatshirt for the baby. It came in a wide array of kids’ sizes. I lifted one in Isaiah’s size, teasing, “Do you think Isaiah would like this?”
He chuckled. “He’d wear it for you.”
“For me?” I asked in surprise.
He offered me a crooked smile. “He’s pretty smitten.”
I ducked my chin. “The feeling is mutual.”
Internal alarm bells peeled, a harsh reminder that I’d been ejected from this ride before.
Shifting from one foot to the other, I avoided his gaze and asked, “Ready to find some food? I’m getting cranky.”
He laughed and threw his arm around my shoulders, steering me around toward the cash. “Doesn’t Shae have a restaurant around here?”
I nodded. “Ayana’s. It’s fancy, though. We’ll have to come back another time—” I cut myself off, my eyes flickering up to meet his.
With a gentle squeeze around my shoulders, he assured me, “I’d like that.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t mean you’d have to take me or go with me.”
He smirked. “And who else would I go with? The only other women I’ve spoken to are your very much taken friends and some woman who came on so strong I had to go home and shower to rinse off the heebie-jeebies.”
I laughed as we stepped up to the checkout. “I bet I know who that was.”
The girl behind the counter held up the size 6 ‘Uncle’ sweatshirt. “This is so cute!”
“It’s for my son,” Kian explained proudly, his cheeks pinking as his pretty mouth curved into a smile. Hazel eyes shining, he continued, “His big brother is having a baby.”
My heart hurt for him. I bet this was the first time he’d gotten to tell someone the news without the shadow of the past dimming his happiness.
“Oh!” she exclaimed. “We have a #1 Grandpa sweatshirt to match! Do you want to see it?”
My heart skipped a beat as Kian stepped back, his smile faltering. “Maybe next time.”
The bell over the door rang as a group of women came in, laughing and talking.
I began to sweat.
“But you’d be so cute together!” she continued as she scanned the rest of our bounty, looking up at him expectantly.
Kian shook his head, his lips pressed flat.
My gaze flicked back and forth between him and the young, overzealous cashier. She wasn’t ready to let it go while Kian’s jaw could cut glass.
When she opened her mouth, I cut her off. “Is there a chocolatier in Mistlevale?”
Her eyes lit up. “Three doors down. Just turn right when you get out the door.”
As soon we got outside, I began to giggle.
“What’s so funny?” He smiled down at me, but his eyes narrowed warily.
“Between the two of us, we have so many triggers we can’t go anywhere without setting one off!”
He began to chuckle. “Gotta just let things go, Bridge. Life’s too short.” He jerked his chin up. “There’s the chocolatier.”
“Oh,” I breathed pulling the heavy door open. “This is very similar to the store I had.”
Reaching above my head, he secured the door and looked down at me. “Yeah?”
I nodded as I walked through. “I sold it before moving to Sage Ridge.”
“You really uprooted yourself.”
I shrugged. “I had to.”
Dipping his chin as he followed me in, he murmured, “Let’s go gorge on chocolate that we’ll later claim is nowhere near as good as yours.”
I laughed. “I’m in.”
The store was lovely, but mine was better.
While this one was sweet, mine had been sweetly seductive. A pang ripped through my battered heart.
I looked around the store and circled back to the tray of samples.
“Try this,” Kian murmured, holding a shiny chocolate heart to my mouth.
I knew by looking it was going to be good.
My eyes flickered up to meet soft hazel eyes that swept the sadness away.
I smiled then parted my lips to take it.
He dipped closer, his gaze dropping to my mouth. The corner of his lips twitched as his fingers grazed my lips.
Chewing slowly, I hummed around the decadent explosion of cocoa.
“It’s good?” His voice deepened.
I stared up at him, my vocal cords failing me.
He swallowed, his eyes on my mouth as he stepped closer. “You want more?”
The heat between us flared.
I cleared my throat and stepped back, my voice hoarse. “Later.”
He stuffed his hands in his front pockets and pinned me with his gaze. “One day I’m going to cash in on that, Bridget,” he muttered darkly.
My eyes widened and flew up to meet his. “I thought you weren’t—”
He nodded tightly. “So did I.”