Epilogue – Hunter’s Story
Epilogue – Hunter’s Story
Hunter
I flitted in and out of consciousness, my eyelids heavy. I’d never slept so deeply or so well, the bed beneath me seemingly contoured to my body.
As if it was made for me and me alone.
I couldn’t feel any blankets, but I wasn’t cold. In fact, I couldn’t sense the air around me at all. The temperature on the outside perfectly matched that of my body.
I breathed deeply, coming alive.
My lips curled up at the corners, ready to face the day.
Sitting up, I stretched my arms over my head and blinked my eyes open to find myself in a room with no walls. “Where the fuck am I?”
A vague memory of shattered glass teased the corners of my mind.
“No, you don’t need that,” a deep voice assured me.
I frowned as I looked around, having no recollection of moving from my comfy bed but suddenly finding myself in some kind of office. Furnished with a couch and a couple of wide chairs, it reminded me of the doctor my mom took me to a few times when I was a kid.
A man sat in one of the chairs across from me. Wearing worn jeans and workboots that had seen better days, he leaned back and relaxed, somehow prompting me to do the same.
Strangely, I wasn’t nervous.
He had a nice face.
Great, fucking beard.
He grinned.
I tilted my head to the side and found myself grinning back at him. “Are you a psychologist?”
“Ech, you could say I dabble.”
“How did I get here?”
Dropping his foot to the floor, he leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as His eyes searched mine. “Think, Hunter.”
I looked around once more, considered my morning thus far before looking back at Him. Was it ‘Him’ with a capital H? Either way, things had taken a sudden turn. “Shit.”
He waited, patiently watching me as I sorted through the jumble of thoughts and impressions crowding me.
“So, what? I have to choose now? Go back or stay here?”
He shook his head. “Sorry. You were broken beyond repair in the accident.”
I furrowed my brow, the memory of turning my head replaying in slow motion.
“No. You don’t need that,” He insisted quietly. “You can rest. You’ve earned it.”
Earned it? “I shouldn’t have taken his car,” I blurted.
“I didn’t say you were perfect,” He countered.
“I wasn’t thinking.” I brought my hands up to my hair and tugged.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Hunter.”
I blinked at Him incredulously. “Hard on myself? Am I or am I not dead?”
He wagged His head back and forth. “Define dead.”
I gaped at Him.
He peered at me closer. “Do you feel dead?”
I frowned. My eyebrows slowly rose as I took a physical inventory. Then a mental one. “I feel pretty good, actually. Calm.” I took a deep breath, at least I think I did.
He chuckled.
“I feel good,” I admitted.
“As I was saying,” He relaxed back again, “you can rest, or you can help put them back together.”
Them. I closed my eyes. I’d left behind a mess. “Yeah?”
He inclined His chin. “They’re in rough shape.”
My heart pounded in my chest. I didn’t want that. I never wanted that. “I can help?”
“They’ll eventually find their way on their own, but yeah.” He nodded. “You earned that, too. It’s your choice.”
I grinned. “Mom will never believe I turned into an angel.”
He laughed. Head thrown back, joy pouring out of every part of Him, reaching out to me and wrapping me in its warm embrace. “It doesn’t quite work that way.”
“I want to help,” I asserted firmly.
He stood. “I’ll let you know when it’s time.”
I stood as well. “So, do we hug or something?”
He quirked an amused brow. “Do you want to hug?”
I offered Him a crooked smile. “Not really?”
Turning, He walked away chuckling, that warmth carrying me to my next destination.
As vacations went, it wasn’t bad, but I was growing bored. Slouched in a lounge chair, I knew I couldn’t sit around too much longer. Just when the restlessness really took hold, He showed up.
“Hey,” I greeted Him. “You’re back.”
He nodded, his face serious. “It’s time.”
I jumped to my feet and followed Him as He explained.
“You won’t be able to speak to anyone directly, nor will you be able to touch anybody. For example, you can’t push someone back from the edge of a cliff, but most people are not so far removed from their beginnings that they can’t at least sense you.”
“How do I get down there?”
“Down?” He quirked a dark brow and winked. “Who said anything about down?”
It wasn’t what I expected. I thought I’d be like a shadow, following along in the dark, a silent guide.
Instead, I felt the ground beneath my feet and the wind in my hair like I always had. I eased in and out of their lives like a whispered ‘I love you,’ barely there at all.
But there were times that stood out.
And times that nearly crushed me.
I spent most of my time there walking the beach with my little sister.
Max and Hawkley had turned into workaholics, and I couldn’t bear to see my parents for more than a moment or two.
Harley seemed to draw comfort from my presence, her shoulders relaxed, her face softened, even her step lightened as I pointed out bits of sea glass in the sand.
But my mother? Whenever I showed up, her whole body stiffened. She spun around, eyes wide and searching as she could feel me like no one else. The hope and agony that flickered on her pretty face tightened my chest, brought tears to my eyes, and wrapped around my throat like a fist.
After a few moments, remembrance set in, and she would abandon whatever she’d been doing and retreat into a corner somewhere to grieve.
My dad would be overcome with anger.
Then tears.
I learned to stay away from my parents. Nothing on heaven or earth could comfort them. I knew they had moments of light and laughter, He assured me of that, but grief was never far away.
I watched Noelle land back in Hawkley’s life. She was beautiful and sweet as always. She’d been my best friend, her and Max. Warm and familiar, she grounded me at those times when I felt like my world was flying apart.
But it only took a moment to see what should have been plain to me even then. She was Hawkley’s. Made for him.
“He’s so closed off,” I murmured to myself.
I never knew when I’d show up, who I’d be with, or where, so it came as little surprise when I found myself ensconced in one of the Sage Ridge cabins with Hawk and Noelle and what should have been a private moment.
“I’m ready to talk about Hunter. To tell you what happened. The part I lied about,” Hawkley admitted.
My heart dropped into my stomach as I staggered over to sit down beside them on the couch. I didn’t want to relive this.
“I told you Hunter loved you first.”
I grimaced because I didn’t. Not really. Not the way he obviously did.
“That I was only beginning to develop romantic feelings for you. I told you about his one-year plan, how he intended to get the promotion and date and get other women out of his system before pursuing you.”
I scrubbed a hand over my face at my selfishness. Seeing the fear on Noelle’s face made me want to run for the bluffs.
“As you know, he continued to date. A lot. I assumed he wasn’t serious about you, and my feelings grew.”
She watched him intently while I watched them both.
“I planned to talk to your dad. With our families being as close as they are, I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t serious.”
Hawk was sweet with her. Tender. The harsh lines of his face as soft as her smile. They were perfect for one another.
He sobered. “I need to finish. I feel like if I don’t tell you now, I’ll never be able to tell anybody, and I don’t think I can continue like this. The guilt, Noelle,” his voice rasped as he twisted to sit back against the couch.
My mouth fell open. “Guilt?”
She threw her leg over his lap and straddled him, cupping his bearded cheeks in her palms. “Truth.”
“Truth.” He nodded. “Hunter came home. Told me he was ready to move on with you. He was so excited.” He smiled. “You know how he was when he had a plan.”
I remembered like it was yesterday. How afraid I was to leave Sage Ridge, how badly I wanted to please my parents, how suffocated I felt at times.
Much like Harley, Noelle had been my touchstone in those moments when I felt my heart and mind were splitting.
My eyes flickered back and forth between them, the ache in my chest at the pain I caused growing with every revelation.
“He asked me to be his best man. I was heartbroken. Jealous. But he was my brother and he claimed you first. I told myself I’d get over you,” he confessed.
A tear rolled down my face, quickly followed by another and another. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
Hawk leaned his head on the back of the couch and swallowed hard. “A couple of days later, you tried to talk to me, and I turned you away.” He looked away, gritting his teeth. “I went home and fucking cried.”
“No,” I breathed along with Noelle.
“Then he started dating that model who worked at Susie Q’s. After a week of watching him joke around with you and go home with her, I confronted him. He told me she’d be the last one. That you weren’t in love with him yet, so it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like he was hurting you.”
I dropped my face into my hands.
“I…” His face contorted and he looked down, breathing out heavily. “I told him I wanted you. Told him you wanted me, too.” He swallowed, looked up at the ceiling. “Oh, fuck,” he blinked back tears, his voice shaking. “Told him I was falling in love with you.”
He sucked in a breath and exhaled a sob he quickly swallowed. His chest heaved.
“No, Hawkley,” I choked out. “I was in the wrong. You have nothing to feel guilty about. I was lost. It was just an accident. I wasn’t even speeding.”
Tears streamed down Noelle’s face.
“I’m so sorry, Noelle,” I sobbed, wishing I could hold them as they held onto each other. I rose to my knees beside them.