Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
Tori
I wasn’t at all surprised that Ava rallied. She’d needed a few minutes, but by the time I came back in to check on her, she had her smile back in place. Somehow, she even managed to mostly hide the pain in her eyes; that was something she’d gotten good at ever since Gail got sick.
Watching her get through the rest of the bridal shower was awful. She laughed through all the silly shower games. She oohed and awwed over the gifts her cousin received. She smiled brightly for all the photos.
I wondered if anyone else knew she was dying inside. Or why.
Ava wasn’t about to let her sadness encroach on her cousin’s day, though, and she kept that mask firmly in place for the rest of the shower. We stayed to help clean up, and then we drove her mom home.
We both got out to help Gail into the house and make sure she was situated. She still had pretty good mobility, but she got tired easily, especially after a day out with people. Vince, Ava’s dad, was home, and once Gail was in her chair with a glass of water and some meds, he shooed us out.
“I’ll take it from here, girls,” he insisted. “Thanks for getting her home.”
Ava and I each hugged Gail goodbye, and then we headed out.
On the way back to the rental house we shared, Ava finally let the mask drop. She practically collapsed against the passenger seat, staring out the window but not really focusing on anything.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she lied. “It’s just… hard.”
“I know.” I glanced at her before looking at the road again. “What happened, anyway? You were fine, and then…”
Ava sighed heavily. “When I was going outside to take her and Nikki the cake, I heard them talking.” She seemed to deflate even more. “She was telling Nikki how bummed she is that she’ll never see me get married.”
My heart dropped. “Oh. Ouch.”
“Right?” Ava ran her hand through her long dark hair. “And like, she’d never want me to just get married for the sake of having a wedding, you know? She’s not… She’s not like that.”
“Of course she isn’t.” I’d known Gail way too long to ever think she’d want that. “But I think a lot of moms dream about seeing their daughters as brides.”
“They do. And I just hate that she’s not going to, you know?
Because even if I met Miss Right today, I’m not going to rush into getting married.
I want to be with someone for a while. Get to know her.
Live together. Figure out if we’re compatible.
” She paused. “And, like, put some actual time into planning a wedding.”
I nodded as she spoke. “I don’t think anyone—especially your mom—would want you to do it any differently.”
“I know. It just sucks.”
“Fuck cancer.”
“ Fuck cancer.”
We rode in silence for most of the fifteen-minute drive to our house. What else was there to say?
I wanted so badly to help, but there wasn’t much I could do about this.
It had been hard, watching her mom’s battle take its toll on Ava and the whole family.
There were few things in the world I wanted more than for my best friend to be happy, and I hated the powerlessness in a situation like this.
Sure, I could provide distractions for her.
I could make her favorite meals on nights when she was really struggling.
I could suggest silly movie marathons and spa days.
I could get my cat high on catnip until his antics made Ava laugh so hard she cried.
But I wasn’t a doctor or a miracle worker. There was nothing I could do to help Gail beat this thing or help Ava cope with eventually losing her mom.
And there wasn’t anything I could do now that Ava was feeling extra sad—and, knowing her, seriously guilty—that her mom wouldn’t ever get to see her as a bride. I hated that. I mean, what could anyone do in a situation like this? Short of offering to get married just so?—
That thought almost had me slamming on the brakes and swerving.
What the hell?
Beside me, Ava sat up a little. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh. Uh.” I cleared my throat and adjusted my grip on the wheel. “Just… thought that squirrel was going to run out in front of me.”
She peered through the windshield. “I didn’t even see it.”
“It was…” I gestured over my shoulder.
“Glad you were paying attention,” she murmured. Yeah, I imagine she’d zoned out even more than I had, which was fine since she didn’t need to focus on the road.
I, on the other hand, did need to focus, and I tried like hell to do exactly that for the rest of the ride home.
But my brain kept spinning out over that one ridiculous thought that had dropped into my mind.
Yeah, in theory, we could stage a wedding so Gail got to see her daughter get married. Except… I mean, who would buy that? Who would actually believe that we’d suddenly decided to get hitched? We weren’t even dating.
We just… lived together. And we went everywhere together. Including to each other’s family functions. We’d been mistaken for a couple how many times? Even by people who didn’t already know we were both lesbians?
I chewed the inside of my cheek.
“How exactly are you two not dating?” my older brother, Duncan, had asked last Christmas when he’d been just a little drunk. “Like if you were dating, what specifically would you be doing differently?”
I’d given him a pointed look. “Is that really something you want your sister to spell out?”
It had taken his tipsy brain a few seconds to connect those wires, and then he’d grimaced and shaken his head. “Oh God. No. No! Never mind.” He’d put up his hands in surrender. “No, we are not talking about this!”
I’d cackled, and I’d been quietly relieved he was no longer grilling me about my relationship with my best-friend-slash-roommate.
Here in this car…
I mean…
Ava and I knew where we stood, but people had been ribbing us for years that it was only a matter of time. One of our mutual friends loved to tell us that everyone knew we were dating but us.
So if we suddenly told everyone that we were not only together, we were engaged, nobody would actually be surprised. Nobody would question it.
Nobody—least of all Gail—would ever know that our wedding was just a chance to give a dying woman her wish to see her daughter as a bride.
I glanced at Ava, who was again staring out the window.
It was a crazy idea. I knew it was. And we’d have to figure out a game plan for after the wedding and after Gail had passed. Like how long did we stay “married”? What excuse did we give when we “divorced”?
But Gail could leave this world believing to her core that cancer had stolen one less dream from her. And Ava could go on knowing she’d given her mother one more moment of joy while she was alive.
Did a fake wedding count as a little white lie?
Or… a big white lie, maybe? Definitely white, that was for sure.
And a lie. But a lie with good intentions?
It wasn’t like we’d be trying to hurt anyone.
Quite the opposite. Even if it put us on the naughty list, it still seemed like the karmic scales should tilt in our favor.
The road to hell wasn’t really paved with good intentions, was it?
Damn. I didn’t know. I didn’t even know if I should mention this to Ava, or if I should let it go and never speak of it to anyone.
Would someone please tell me the right thing to do?