Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
Tori
W hen Tucker jumped off the windowsill and ran to the front door, my heart went into my throat.
Ava was home.
He recognized her car, and he was always at the door to greet her.
It was the cutest thing… usually. Okay, it was still cute—everything he did was cute—but today, his announcement that she was home just made my apprehension worse.
I’d barely been able to focus as I worked because Ava was so mad at me, and I didn’t know what to do about that.
For a moment, I was seriously tempted to gather up my laptop and move into my bedroom.
I always worked out here because it was cooler and the couch was better for my back, but I wasn’t so sure I could face her today.
I was too afraid that my suggestion had done irreparable damage to our friendship.
Under normal circumstances, we could fight and be done with it, no harm done.
But things hadn’t been normal since Gail got sick, and maybe what I’d suggested—good intentions or not—had hit Ava in a place she couldn’t forgive.
I stayed put, though, and I held my breath as her key turned in the lock.
The door opened. Ava’s eyes flicked toward me, but then she shifted her attention to the cat. She scooped Tucker up into her arms, cradling him on his back like a baby, and cooed to him as he purred so loud he almost shook the house.
Even with all the tension hanging between us, I still couldn’t help but smile as I watched them.
Few things melted my heart like someone who adored animals, and I’d loved the way Ava had fawned all over Tucker even before we’d lived together.
And for as skittish as Tucker could be with some people, he’d immediately decided Ava was his best friend in the whole world.
If their interactions weren’t so adorable, I might’ve even gotten jealous.
Ava gently put Tucker back on the floor and shifted her attention to me.
The second our eyes met, I was overcome with relief.
We’d had enough fights over the years that I could read her like a book, and I knew in an instant that the anger was gone.
So was the hurt. She was still a ball of conflicted emotions, her shoulders still taut and her forehead still creased, but the storm had passed.
Okay. We could come back from this. It might not be a comfortable conversation, but it wasn’t a disaster. I could live with that.
“Hey,” I ventured. “I, um…”
“I’m sorry I went off on you,” she said as she came around the couch. “I don’t know why I did.”
“You didn’t want to lie to your mom,” I said softly. “I understand. And it was kind of a wild and ridiculous idea.”
“It’s not, though.” Ava eased herself down on the other cushion, and she wrung her hands in her lap. “I thought it was a—well, it doesn’t even matter because it didn’t make sense.” She looked in my eyes. “Your heart was in the right place. It always is.”
The relief almost made me sway. Even though I’d known the worst was behind us, the confirmation that Ava realized I meant well was a huge weight off my shoulders.
“It was, I promise,” I whispered. “I only wanted to try to help your mom live out her dream. But not if…” I trailed off, not sure how to finish that.
“No, I get it.” She pushed out a ragged breath before meeting my gaze. “I’m sorry. I… shouldn’t have flipped out on you like that.”
“You’re going through a lot. Maybe I should’ve waited to suggest it.”
Ava shook her head. “No. I probably still would’ve needed Molly to talk me down.”
That made me laugh. “Ahh, now it all makes sense. Molly brought you back down to earth.”
Ava chuckled, shrugging as a blush bloomed in her cheeks. “Doesn’t she usually?”
“Well, someone has to.”
She rolled her eyes and gave my arm a playful smack.
Yeah, we were good. Thank God. And thank Molly.
After a moment, Ava sobered and met my gaze.
“I, um… I did give your idea some more thought. And maybe it’s not a bad idea after all.
But maybe it’s…” She sighed and sank back against the couch.
“One minute I think it’s the worst thing ever because we’d be lying to her.
The next, I mean—if it’ll make her happy… ”
“You don’t have to make a decision either way right now.”
“Except I kind of do.” She stared down at her wringing hands. “I don’t know how much time Mom has.”
My heart sank. There was that. Gail’s treatments were keeping things contained for now, but her doctors had been clear that this only ended one way. And sometimes when cancer got ahead of the treatment, things could happen very, very quickly.
Ava swallowed. “If we do this, we need to do it . Set a date, make the announcement, and get it rolling.” She searched my eyes, her forehead creasing as she asked, “Are you still game to do it?”
My heart sped up and I wasn’t entirely sure why. “Of course.” I reached for her forearm. “I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t willing to follow through.”
She nodded slowly. “It’s going to be expensive. And probably really time-consuming.” Her brow pinched. “And after my mom dies, I mean—we should probably still keep this between us, you know? Even after we”—she made air quotes—“divorce?”
“We should.”
“But that means everyone around us will think they’ve been to our first wedding. When we marry other people down the line…”
There was that. And it was a tough pill to swallow. At the same time, I was fairly certain I could live with the guilt of a fake wedding over wishing I’d done something to help make a dying woman happy.
I took a deep breath and squeezed her arm. “I’m in. Maybe a few years down the line, we can tell people what we did. I think they’ll understand, you know? Especially after…” I hesitated. “After they’ve had time to grieve. But I’m also okay with taking it to the grave.”
Ava studied me, and then her features softened, and I thought she was on the verge of tears. She sat up and leaned across the cushion, pulling me into a hug. “You’re the best. I can’t believe you’d do this for my mom.”
“Of course I would,” I whispered as I returned her embrace.
But I’m not just doing it for your mom, I didn’t say out loud. I’m doing it for you.
We gave it a few days before we made the final decision. Then we waited another week, just to be sure we’d really thought it through.
Though we were committed now, and we were starting to make some plans behind the scenes, we kept things quiet for a while. Gail was doing well and her most recent oncologist visit had been very positive, so the clock wasn’t ticking as loudly as it could’ve been.
There was also the part where Ava’s cousin was getting married. We didn’t want to upstage Ginny and her new husband, so we kept the whole thing under our hats for now.
That also gave us some time to plant the seeds so we weren’t just springing this engagement on everyone.
It wasn’t difficult to sell, either. We’d been inseparable since first grade, and we’d lived together off and on since we’d graduated high school.
Most people were shocked when they realized we weren’t dating, including friends and relatives we saw regularly.
So literally no one was going to be surprised if we finally admitted to what they thought they’d known all along.
It started with a few social media posts and selfies that gently tipped the scales from “really close friends and roommates” to “okay maybe we’re dating now.
” A picture of us cuddled up on the couch to watch a movie on a Friday night.
Dinner for two at an upscale restaurant with a notoriously romantic ambiance.
When friends started asking, “So, are you two…?” , we were playfully coy at first, but then started admitting that, yes, we were dating.
“Oh my God,” my other best friend, Marco, exclaimed after I fessed up to him. “It’s about damn time.”
“Wait, you just started dating?” a mutual friend asked. “I thought you were living together.”
“They are living together,” another friend had said with a smirk. “They’re” —she made very emphatic air quotes— “roommates.”
Gail, for her part, was both tickled and not in the least bit surprised. “Everyone on God’s green earth has known about the two of you except for the two of you. Pass the potatoes.”
So… yeah. Announcing that we were together was about as anticlimactic as it could get.
But three months after Ginny’s wedding, at Christmas dinner with Ava’s family…
“You’re getting married? ” Gail squealed. “Are you serious? Oh, my goodness! My girls are getting married!”
“Yep!” Ava smiled brightly, holding up her hand with the simple gold ring we’d bought together a few weeks earlier. “Tori proposed this morning!”
Gail crushed us both in hugs, nearly sobbing with joy, and I knew without a doubt in that moment that we’d made the right decision.
“Oh, I’m so excited!” She told me as she hugged me tight. “Do you girls have any thoughts about your wedding?” She let me go and hugged Ava again. “Have you thought about a date? Oh, this is so exciting!”
Ava laughed. “We’ve only been engaged for a few hours, Mom. We haven’t gotten very far yet.”
I nodded. “But if you want to help us plan…”
Gail’s eyes lit up all over again. Clasping her hands beneath her chin, she looked at me, then Ava.
“Are you sure? I’d love to help! I don’t want to be the mother of the bride who takes everything over, but I’d so love to help!
” She grinned so big I thought she was about to burst. “I get to be the mother of the bride!”
“Of course you can help, Mom,” Ava said.
Instantly, Gail had her wrapped up in another huge hug. A second later, I was again enveloped in one of her amazing hugs. Over Gail’s shoulder, I met Ava’s eyes. Any doubt she might’ve had about this had vanished. Yes, we were lying, but we were making Gail happy. Really, really happy.
Hopefully that was enough to balance the karmic scales.
Ava shut the car door, held the wheel in both hands, and released a harsh breath, forming a thin cloud in the cold air as she gazed up at her parents’ house.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Yeah. I’m good.” She turned to me, the fatigue in her eyes painfully obvious. “I don’t know why I was so stressed about it.”
“I think anyone would be. Even if we weren’t doing it because… you know…”
Pressing her lips together, she nodded. Staring at the closed garage door, she said, “It makes it feel more… real, I think. Not that we’re getting married—that my mom is…”
My chest tightened. “I’m sure it does.”
She swallowed hard. “I thought for a while that focusing on the wedding would keep my mind off that. But now…”
I winced. “Yeah. I guess it’s kind of unavoidable now.”
She nodded slowly. God, she looked utterly wrung out.
She’d been so happy all evening, especially as we’d celebrated Christmas and chatted with her mom about wedding plans.
Now that the lights had gone down, she was visibly drained.
The harsh glow of the headlights reflecting off the garage door made her look pale while adding deeper shadows beneath her eyes; she was still beautiful—she always was—but the weight of the world on her shoulders was impossible to miss.
“Do you want me to drive?” I asked.
Ava chewed her lip. Then she sighed, letting her hands slide off the wheel into her lap, and nodded. “Probably a good idea. I’m exhausted.”
We got out and both went around the front of the car. To my surprise, though, as we passed through the headlight beams, Ava stopped me and wrapped me in a hug.
“Thank you so much,” she whispered. “I was still having some doubts, but when I saw how happy my mom was…”
I smiled and held her tighter. “I’m glad she’s happy.”
“She is.” Loosening her embrace, she met my gaze, her expression tired but soft. “I mean it—thank you.”
“Any time.” Why was it so hard to resist touching her face? “It’s going to be a lot of work, but it’ll be worth it.”
“Yeah. It will.” She shivered, looking around as she blew out a thin cloud of breath. “And we should get home because it’s freezing out here.”
I laughed, grateful for the break in tension, and we continued to our respective seats in her car. At least the roads were clear tonight; there’d been snow off and on for the past few days, but aside from the most rural backroads, the plows had done their job.
With the heater blasting to ward off the chill, I backed out of Ava’s parents’ driveway and onto the snow-lined street. Before I’d even made it out of the cul de sac, Ava was sound asleep in the passenger seat.
I didn’t blame her. It had been an exciting day and evening, and like me, she’d had some uncertainties about what we were doing.
Now the cat was out of the bag, Gail was ecstatic, and Ava could apparently breathe again.
Tonight, it was like she could finally exhale, and now that she had, she was out cold.
I didn’t imagine I’d last long once I was home and in bed.
We were doing this. Gail knew, and she was thrilled, and no one seemed to suspect that this was anything but a real, honest to God wedding. So far, so good.
I still had a lot of mixed feelings, but with Ava sleeping peacefully beside me as I drove us home…
With how genuinely thrilled her mom had been about our engagement and wedding planning…
It was getting harder and harder to doubt that we were doing the right thing.