16. Opal
SIXTEEN
Opal
I still haven’t shed a tear over what happened this afternoon, and I have to say I’m proud of myself. I’ve always promised myself that I wouldn’t let a guy play with my emotions. It’s why I’ve never allowed myself to get too close to one. Well, other than Alex.
Now that I’m laying here in the dark, nothing but a faint sliver of moonlight slipping through my window, it’s hard not to replay the entire scene in my mind. Even if it didn’t end how I might’ve hoped, it was still my first kiss, and that part was pretty wonderful.
I hear a light tapping on my window, and I’m so deep into imagining the memory, that it startles me. My whole body jolts at the sound. I roll over onto my other side to see Alex peeking through my blinds.
I’m still mad at him, but I can’t say I’m not happy that he showed up.
I slip out of bed and unlock the window, opening it for him. “Be quiet, my mom might still be awake.”
He sits down on my bed and I plop down next to him, keeping a couple of feet of space between us. It feels weird after how close we were today, after touching him the way I did. My heart screams out, begging for him to touch me that way again, but my brain wars with it, telling it to shut up and remember that we’re mad at him right now.
“I’m sorry about earlier.”
He’s sorry? Is he sorry for making me upset, or is he sorry that he kissed me? I’m afraid to ask. “I just don’t understand…why would you want to drop out of school?” My voice gets quieter. “I would miss you. Every day.”
“I’d miss you too. That’s why I said I’d take you with me. I’d take you anywhere with me, you know that right?”
“But I can’t do that, Alex. That’s a crazy thing to do.”
He scratches the back of his neck. “Maybe it is, but I think doing what everyone else calls normal is sort of crazy too.”
I roll my eyes, but a faint smile plays on my lips.
“I meant everything I said earlier.”
I nervously pick at the lint on my purple pajama bottoms, unsure what to say next. Are we just going to dance around the fact that we kissed?
“So, what then?” I ask.
“What if we just…try this?”
“Try what ?”
“Us. Together. As more than friends.” He pauses. “If you want to, I don’t even know if you want that, but I do.”
My eyes move to the floor. “I don’t want to be your rebound from Brooke.”
He chuckles under his breath and shakes his head, but I don’t see what’s funny about the subject. “Opal, Brooke was my rebound from you.”
I arch my brow and give him a quizzical look because I have no fucking clue what he means by that.
“I’ve wanted you for so long. I thought maybe if I dated someone I could make these feelings go away, because I was so scared that they would destroy our friendship.” He scrubs his hand down his face. “It sounds stupid because it is. It doesn’t make any sense, but I promise I was trying to do the right thing.”
Even though it does sound stupid, I understand where he’s coming from. This whole situation could affect our friendship, easily. Losing Alex as a friend isn’t something I’d ever want to risk. But at the same time, I’ve wished for so long that my unrequited feelings wouldn’t just go to waste.
I imagined myself pining over Alex for the rest of my life. Sure, I’d grow up, marry someone else and be happy enough, but I’d always have a thing for my best friend and wonder ‘ what if? ’.
“Okay.”
His brows crinkle on top of his forehead. “Okay?”
I nod my head. “We can try this,” I whisper.
His lips turn upward into a playful grin, and he moves towards me, wrapping his arms around my neck. Our lips crash together, harder than they did before. He kisses me deeper, laying me back onto the bed, my head hitting my pillow. His tongue pokes out, softly licking the seam of my lips and then invading my mouth in the sweetest way possible.
I thread my hands through his hair, desperately wanting him closer even though he’s already on top of me. My heart pounds so wildly that I’m worried its beating will wake up everyone in the house.
He pulls his head back, coming up for a breath, and then tucks the strand of hair that’s fallen in my eyes behind my ear. “I should’ve done that a long time ago. Like the day we met.”
“When we were twelve?” A sarcastic grin pulls at my lips.
“Well, maybe not.” He chuckles. “But I did think you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen the first day I met you. That day I saw you riding your bike.”
“Really?” It’s hard to imagine anyone, especially someone like Alex, finding twelve year old me attractive.
“Yeah, of course. Look at you.” His eyes roam over my face and down my body. “You’re my dream girl, Opal.”
My face heats, turning a deep crimson, and those pesky butterflies take up residence in my stomach again.
He lays down beside me and stretches his arm out so that I can lay my head on it. “By the way, what’s going on with you and that guy?”
My eyebrow arches. “What guy?”
“From the lunch table today. Brown hair.”
“Oh, Cole. Nothing, he’s just one of Maisie’s friends,” I shrug.
“You looked pretty cozy together at the lake.” His voice sounds mostly sarcastic, but there’s still a hint of jealousy there.
“A little hypocritical don’t you think? Considering you did have a girlfriend at the time.”
He nods. “Extremely hypocritical. I had no right to feel jealous,” he pauses. “But I did anyway.”
“There’s nothing for you to be jealous of,” I whisper.
“I want all of your firsts, Opal.” He twists his body so that he’s laying on his side, and then pecks me on the lips again. “And all of your lasts.”
I glance over at him, still laying on my back. “Did you and Brooke…” my voice trails off, suddenly realizing I may not want to know the answer.
“No,” he shakes his head. “It never got to that point.”
My body floods with relief. “Good to know.”
We lay there in silence for a few moments, his arms wrapped tightly around me, the sound of crickets chirping coming in through the cracked window. I yawn and roll over onto my side, a wave of tiredness crashing over me suddenly.
“Go to sleep,” he whispers in my ear before pulling the covers over us both.
“Aren’t you going to go back home?”
“I will soon. Go ahead and sleep.” He presses a soft kiss on my forehead, and for once I drift off to sleep almost instantly, without any worried thoughts crossing my mind.