21. Alex
TWENTY-ONE
Alex
M y heart is banging in my chest, between the rush of playing for an audience and what just happened, I almost feel like I’m dreaming. I’m tempted to pinch myself to make sure.
I spot Opal staring at me and I walk up to her, wrapping her in a hug and lifting her off the ground slightly before placing a kiss on her lips.
“Hey,” she giggles. “Who was that guy you were talking to?”
I grab her hand and we weave through the crowd towards the parking lot. It’s surprisingly quiet out there in comparison to the loudness of the bar. “You’re not gonna believe this. That was Dax Thatcher.”
Her brow wrinkles. “Who?”
“He’s the drummer for Terrestrial Rain.” They’ve been one of my favorite bands for years, and a huge source of inspiration for my own music. They’re an alternative-emo band from here in Austin. It’s not the exact same sound as my original music, but definitely similar.
“What?!” She turns her head in the direction where we just came from. “For real? That’s so cool.”
“He offered me a spot to open for them on their next tour. He said I’ll just have to come audition for the rest of the band, but he thinks I’m what they’re looking for.” My heart is still racing as I rehash the conversation to her.
Her blue eyes spark with surprise, but the excitement I expected to see in them isn’t quite there. She’s quiet for a second. “Wow,” she utters. “That’s…incredible, Alex. I’m so happy for you.”
“Be happy for both of us. We could travel the country together,” I say, tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear.
She smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “You want me to go with you?”
“Of course, I do.” I don’t know why she’d think anything else, I’ve told her so from day one, wherever I go I want her to come with me.
Her lips are still pressed into a barely there smile, but she looks down at the ground between our feet, her arms crossed over her chest. I pull her against me, tucking her head under my chin.
“What’s the matter?” I whisper into her hair.
“Nothing. I’m so proud of you, it’s amazing, truly.”
“But..?” My heart lurches, I can tell she’s not happy about this at all. I just don’t understand why.
She blinks a few times, her eyes bleary, and she slowly pulls out of my arms. “I just didn’t expect this to happen…now,” she shrugs.
“He said the tour won’t start until October. We’ll have plenty of time to plan and get ready. I have to find a van to use, spend a lot of time practicing, and it’s not like I’m leaving tomorrow.”
She looks slightly relieved, but still annoyed. “I just don’t really know where I fit into all of this.”
“What do you mean?” My eyes bounce back and forth between hers, hoping to find a glimmer of understanding, but it isn’t there. “Opal, I’m not leaving you behind. I want you there with me, every step of the way.”
“I’d like that, but I have plans, Alex. I’m going to college, and my family is here in Texas.” Her voice cracks slightly, and now she’s refusing to make eye contact with me at all.
Suddenly I realize how selfish I probably sound, this is my dream, but that doesn’t mean it’s hers. I swallow the lump in my throat and step towards her again, reaching out to grab her hand. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to force you into anything,” I say.
She chews on her lip, her eyes narrowed and focused squarely on my shoes. “It’s just…a lot.” Finally she looks up at me and I see the tears pooling in the corner of her eyes.
Shit, I feel like a dick now. I wrap my arms around her again, feeling like I need to hold on tightly to her. Like even though she’s right here in front of me, she’s somehow slipping away at the same time. “I’m sorry. Just think about it, okay? There’s plenty of time to decide what you want to do.” I lean down to press a kiss to her forehead. “I love you, bluebird. Always.”
“I love you, too.” Her voice is quiet, barely there. “Always.”