Chapter 23 Quinn
QUINN
JULY — FIVE WEEKS TO WIN OVER THE FACULTY
Inez barrels into me the moment I open the door. “You’re home!”
I laugh and wrap my arms around her. “You’re feeling better.”
“Yeah, weirdest thing, right? I felt perfectly fine the next day.”
“So strange.” I roll my eyes at her and fight to keep my mind off what her trickery led to. She knows me too well and will read every memory of his hands and lips and tongue if I give an inch.
She waves her hand. “We could have found a room at another hotel for Colton.” She peeks at him over my shoulder, committing to her lie. “I’m sure you’d have appreciated a weekend away from the students.”
“I can hardly think of anything more appealing than that.” His tone’s neutral, but his amusement—and the breath-stealing memories of the previous night—burrow under my skin.
Inez turns back to me. “Okay, can we talk about how tan you are?”
I look up at Colton. “She’s much nicer than you.”
He sighs as he slips past me with our suitcases in hand. “If it’s red, it’s not a tan. It’s a burn.”
Inez throws her arm over my shoulder, and we follow him into our living room. “I got a bottle of wine. Let’s go sit on the Tiberina and you can tell me how it went. You too, Colton.”
“Thanks for the offer,” he says, “but I need to prepare for this week’s classes. I’ll let you two catch up.”
Inez protests weakly while I protest more vigorously. I want some time with Inez, but the second we’re away from Colt, she’ll start badgering me for details.
She goes off to the kitchen to pop the cork and grab some cups. As soon as she’s out of view, Colton steps close, his already low voice dropping another octave. “This weekend was incredible.”
“Yeah,” I say, so eloquent in my breathlessness.
My hand lands on his chest, testing the muscles underneath, and his chest rises faster in response. His own hand comes to the side of my neck, his thumb tracing my bottom lip. He brings our foreheads together, our noses grazing in the softest, most electrifying way.
“Come to my room when you get home,” he whispers, the breath of his words fanning over my lips.
I pull back a few inches so I can see his eyes. They hold a trace of vulnerability, but no uncertainty. I can’t lie to him—or myself—and say I don’t want that, too.
A clang of plastic cups flying across the floor interrupts us. We turn around to see Inez staring. Her eyes are wide and a bit manic, like she can’t decide whether to cheer or yell or faint. Instead, she lifts an arm and points back and forth between us.
I chew on my lip and look up at Colton. “I guess that’s one secret out.”
“If it’s supposed to be a secret, maybe you shouldn’t make out in our living room,” Inez says, but her eyes are smiling and her body vibrates with barely restrained excitement. “I’m so happy for you two! I knew it would work!”
“What would wor—”
“Oh, we aren’t—”
Colton and I both start talking, cutting each other off.
“You know what? I’ll let Quinn explain. I’ll see you later tonight.” He sends one last long look my way before heading off to the safety of his room.
“I knew you two were gonna fall in love! Tomasso said my meddling was going to get me in trouble, and I can’t wait to tell him he was wrong.”
I shush her, glancing at his closed door and praying the wood’s thick enough to block Inez’s booming voice. “That’s not what this is, and this conversation requires a glass of wine. Get me to the Tiberina, and I’ll give you the details.”
I distract her from what she really wants to know along the way with stories about the trip until we’re comfortably settled on the hill.
This is one of my favorite spots in Rome, a small island in the middle of the Tiber river between Trastevere and the Jewish Quarter.
It’s a popular place to hang out in the summer, when the Lungo Il Tevere summer festival takes over the banks of the river.
Pop-up restaurants and bars draw people from across the city.
Others, like us, bring their own drinks and sit on the grassy knoll, enjoying the views.
I take a sip of my wine, closing my eyes while savoring the fruity flavors and the rush of the river around the island.
I take a fortifying breath and asked her the question I’d been avoiding for the past couple weeks. “Have you heard anything from Leonardo da Vinci?”
“You must be really desperate to put off this conversation if you’re willing to talk about the other job,” she says with a smirk.
“I’m not stalling,” I say, mostly telling the truth. Yes, I want to avoid the Colton-sized elephant in the room, but she hasn’t talked about the other job at all. I want her to know I’m here for her, even though the idea of her leaving crushes me. “Any news?”
A small smile crosses her lips and she takes a sip of her own wine. “They asked me to come back to meet the rest of the team. No offer yet, but Dr. Lascano says it’s a really good sign.”
My stomach bottoms out. She’s one step closer to leaving me, and I’ve set myself back a few dozen steps by snapping at Dr. Guarino and then hiding out. But I don’t want her to think she can’t talk to me, so I paste on the most realistic smile I can manage.
“Inez,” I say, throwing my arms around her and just barely keeping my cup of wine from splashing down her back. “That’s incredible! When are you going back?”
“The same weekend Dr. Keck and Dr. Larson take the students to Florence, so I’ll have to be very, very sneaky.”
That’s three weeks away, which means I have three weeks to show her we can keep the initiative from passing before she has to make any sort of decision.
“No more stalling,” Inez says. “We aren’t leaving until I get details about this weekend. I’ll burn the damn bridges down if I have to.”
“Those bridges date back to antiquity, you heathen.”
“Don’t care. Spill. Now.”
I sigh and face her. “We slept together.”
She whoops. “Finally! It’s so romantic! I’m going to be maid of honor, obviously.”
I laugh and grab her hands. “Slow down. We aren’t together.”
She blinks her large brown eyes. I can practically hear the cartoon tinking sound. “But… you slept together.”
“Contrary to what some people believe, sex doesn’t always lead to a romantic relationship. It was a one-time thing.”
“But… you were kissing. I saw it.”
“We weren’t kissing. Our faces were just… really, really close.”
Her confusion is adorable. My little romantic can’t understand why we haven’t rushed to the altar already.
I launch into the story, leaving out some of my more… confusing reactions.
When I’m done, her eyes are sad. “Quinn, you have to tell him how you feel.”
“I didn’t say I had feelings for him. I said I enjoyed sleeping with him.”
She levels me with a flat stare. “I’ve seen you with dozens of people—”
“Dozens seems a bit much, doesn’t it,” I mutter.
She rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. I’ve seen you in relationships—even if I’d hardly call them that—hookups, and one-night stands, but I’ve never seen you like this.”
“Like what?”
“Scared.”
The word clangs through me. I’m not scared.
I’m fucking terrified. The sex was incredible, but what if everything’s different now?
What if we get awkward around each other and slowly drift apart?
No more sarcastic comments and dimpled smiles.
No more baking pumpkin pie with Gerry on Thanksgiving and no waking him up on Christmas morning.
I’ve cared about the other friends I’ve hooked up with, but I’ve never loved one of them before, not like I love Colton. Platonically, of course. That’s the deeper emotion Inez is reading.
But his words, come to my room, repeat in my mind the entire walk home, and I’m helpless against the urge to knock on his door. This is probably a terrible idea, but I’m just self-destructive enough to want to see how it will play out.
A half second later, it swings open. Colton’s on the other side, his face surprised but hopeful.
“One more time,” I say.
“Yes,” he breathes out, relief and hunger on his face. His hand closes around my arm, tugging me inside and pushing me against the door before it fully closes. He devours me, and I fall head first into the kiss. This is what I need. Hot and hard. None of the emotional bullshit Inez was spouting.
I move down his neck, nipping at the skin, and Colton’s low groan feels like a caress between my thighs.
“Y’all were gone for a while. Did you eat?” he forces out. “We could go get dinner first if you’re hungry. Or gelato, maybe?”
I don’t need anything approaching a date right now. I need to focus on what this is. Two people with an overwhelming attraction having fun on sort-of-vacation.
I push him back a step and kneel before him. “I can think of something I’d like to lick more than gelato.”
His eyes roll into the back of his head as I free him from his pants, running my tongue along the underside of his shaft. I take him in my mouth, twirling my tongue around the tip as Colton softly brushes my hair back from my face and murmurs praise.
My chest tightens. If our friendship’s going to survive crossing this line again, I need to make sure I don’t mistake consideration for affection, so I take his hand and weave it into my hair, tugging on the strands to show him what I want. What I need.
“Fuck, Quinn.”
He releases my hair for a second to rip his shirt over his head, then gathers it back, using his tight grip to keep it out of the way, and I take him deeper until his cock hits the back of my throat.
His other hand sweeps over my cheek and down my neck, tightening around the back in a greedy, possessive grip.
“You’re so pretty like this. I fucking love you on your knees for me.”
I relax, taking him another inch, and a surge of satisfaction bursts through me when his palm comes down hard on the door like he needs the extra support.
My hands grip his ass while my head bobs, and I let my nails bite into the flesh. His hips jerk at the sting, pushing him deeper. I moan, and Colton’s gaze blazes into mine.
“Is that what you want, Chaos? You want me to fuck your sweet mouth?”
I nod, and his grip on my hair turns more demanding, his hand and hips working in tandem.
He takes complete control, and I accept everything he gives me, running my hands over his defined stomach and letting my nails scrape over his strong thighs.
He’s stunning. Savage and desperate and possessed, and I don’t know how I’ll ever look away from him.
“I swear to god, if we keep going, I’m gonna come down your throat.”
I hum my consent, my whole body tight and overheated from seeing him lose control. He lets out another string of curses and my name before pulsing in my mouth, my body pushed back against the door as he jolts.
There. Hot, but nothing romantic about him fucking my mouth. This can stay just sex.
Colton looks down at where I’m kneeling and runs a finger down my cheek.
He places it under my chin, tilting my face up to his, watching in fascination as I swallow.
He’s a handsome man on any day, but when he’s rumpled and undone like this, I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful.
I want him beyond all reason, and just like last time, I know tonight won’t be enough.
“Venus,” he murmurs, his eyes falling closed as his breathing evens out, and my heart skips a beat.
I run my fingers through my hair as I stand up.
Colton’s looking at me with a combination of lust and orgasm-fueled reverence that could be easily confused for something else.
And shit, I think I want the something else, and that isn’t acceptable.
He told me he doesn’t want a significant other, and I told him the same.
He’s been the most stable relationship in my life for fourteen years. Part of me thinks if there’s anyone in the world who could handle me, it’s him. But a bigger part is afraid that in truth, I’m just not worth sticking around for when it isn’t easy. And if I lost him, I wouldn’t survive it.
This is all Inez’s fault. She put this complication in my mind, made me see things that aren’t there, and I need to get my head on straight.
I start pacing the room like I can outrun these feelings, but the tiny bedroom is like a chariot track, and no matter how quickly I run, it always circles back to him.
Finally, I stop and turn him, asking a question that’s both electrifying and terrifying.
“This is just sex, right?”