Chapter 26 #2
When I was young, I thought it was him celebrating our connection.
I believed we were bound on a deeper level because of our shared love, that him pushing me toward his field was a sign of how special I was to him.
It wasn’t until I was grown that I realized I was a pawn to show off, one that was easily sacrificed when I was no longer protecting the king.
Dad continues, completely unaware of the spiral inside me. “Dr. Livingston is in town for the week, and I thought you two could connect and discuss you joining his program next year.”
“Why would I join his program, Dad?” I say, pure exhaustion seeping into my tone.
“You’ve done well in the classroom this summer. It shows I was right all along about the correct path for you.”
“Dad, that’s not—”
“You’ll be older than most of your peers, but it’s all about the quality of the work you produce.”
“I have no—”
“There’ll be some people, like Colton, you’ll never be able to catch up to, but you can still make a substantial—”
“Dad,” I shout, and he finally stops talking. “I’m not switching my career. I have no desire to go back to school.”
His gaze softens. “I know losing the Harrow Fellowship to Colton was a heavy blow, but you’re giving up all your talent because of one bad moment.”
I want to scream, to sit him down and unload every thought and feeling I’ve had about how he’s tried to manipulate and control me.
To dissect everything with the fellowship until he understands that I’ll never choose to get back on his path.
But he won’t listen, and it would bring up drama long since buried that would put Colton in the crosshairs.
He sighs when I don’t speak, like I’m a disappointing child. In his eyes, I guess I am. “Why are you being so stubborn about this, Quinn? Don’t you miss your family?”
I blink back tears. Of course he’d make the estrangement my fault. “That’s your fault, not mine.”
“Your brothers miss you. And your mother. Do you know how much it hurt her that you barely even said hello at Bradley’s engagement party?”
I doubt Mom thinks much of me at all, just like I rarely think of her.
The two of us were never close. Gerry’s who I go to for motherly love.
As for my brothers, my guess is they’ve gotten comfortable with this estrangement and don’t care enough to resolve it.
I was never important enough to them to begin with.
Either way, I’m not reorganizing my life for a handful of people who don’t love me enough to respect my wishes. And I’m not going to stand here feeling guilty about the consequences of my dad’s actions.
“This was a great chat, Dad,” I say. “We’ll have to take a rain check on that dinner.”
I leave the office and head to the second one farther down the hallway, determined to squash that split second of hope. Leaving Rome at the end of summer will be hard, but having a thousand miles between me and my father again? That’s definitely something to look forward to.
Looking up at the palace looming over us, this was absolutely the right choice. Dr. Keck loves the unique architecture, and I love that this trip includes at least three hours of forced interaction with me.
Dr. Keck’s been the hardest to pin down on this trip.
I’m pretty sure she’s been actively avoiding me, but she’s softened up a bit in Juliana’s presence, chatting about the students in the architecture major that Dr. Keck thinks may be the right fit for Juliana and Ben’s internship program next year.
Now that our tour of the palace is over, we have some time to wander the extensive gardens, some of the most elaborate in the world. Miles of unique grottos and architectural features that accentuate the natural beauty of the landscape.
Each section of the garden is more impressive than the last, a marvelous combination of flora, stone, and water that weaves together to create a fairy land.
Everything from giant, towering features that dwarf the viewer to intimate, bubbling brooks tucked in private alcoves, nothing but the sound of pounding water and chirping birds to keep you company. A peaceful paradise.
And then the rowdy college kids show up.
I stumble upon a group of my students standing below a fertility statue fountain.
The female bust has about thirty breasts, water shooting out of each nipple.
The students are all laughing and taking inappropriate pictures, tongues hanging out like they’re catching the water.
I snap a quick photo and shoot it off to Colton.
Me
College students are gross: Exhibit C.
Colton
That’s one we don’t have in our collection.
Me
This generation is more creative than us.
I slip my phone back in my purse and dive into my pitch to Dr. Keck. She listens, engaged and respectful, and I feel a surge of hope.
“Look, I’m not going to be much help to you,” she says when I finish, and my heart sinks. “I’m an instructor. I’m not on the tenure track, so my voice will carry less weight on something like this.”
“You’re still a professor in the program. Your support would make a difference.”
She shrugs. “But it’s dicey. My contract is year-to-year. It’s a lot easier to boot an instructor, and I love my job. And, at the risk of sounding dismissive, our program already has a great professional development component. We don’t need extra help from the staff.”
“Is it conceited for me to assume you’re talking about the KMG internship program?” Juliana jumps in, and Dr. Keck chuckles. “Did you know Quinn helped design that internship?”
Dr. Keck eyes me speculatively. “If you designed it, why haven’t you been at any of the meetings?”
I straighten my spine. “Because I haven’t been invited by the faculty. Juliana reached out to me on her own.”
Juliana nudges me with her elbow. “Quinn’s being uncharacteristically modest right now. She’s the reason the program is so successful. I’d have been completely lost that first year without her.”
She hums thoughtfully. “If you’re involved with the curriculum, you should be in the meetings next year.”
My heart races. That’s way more than I expected from her. “I’d like that.”
She nods once. Definitive. “If all the other professors are in, then I’ll support you, too. Otherwise, I’m sorry.”
“I have everyone on board except for Dr. Guarino. And I have a month left to sway him. Maybe with all of your help?” I give her a cheeky smile, and she laughs.
“Good luck. He’s old school.”
“Well, I’ll have to change that, then. Won’t I?”
She gusts out a sigh. “Fine. I’m in.”
I barely hold back a squeal and the desire to throw my arms around her. Dr. Keck laughs and continues down the walkway.
I sidle up to Juliana. “You’re the fucking best!”
“That was all you, babe!” she whispers back, hip checking me.
One person left to go. Yes, he’s the hardest, like fighting the final boss in a video game, but I believe in us. And it’s something Inez can keep in mind when she goes back to Florence for her second interview.
When we get home, I rush right into Colton’s room. I ignore him asking how it went and fly right to his desk where we set up our war room. I smack one of the white pawns off the map, grab a black pawn from the set on his bookshelf, and plop it down with a gratifying thunk.
Colton runs over to me, lifting me up and swinging me in the air as he kisses me.
And again, I spend the night in his bed.