Chapter 39 #2
"St. Patrick's Day is a complete fail because I am not lucky at all," Ruby continues, completely serious.
"Like, genuinely, I have the worst luck of anyone I know.
Last St. Patrick's Day, I got food poisoning from green beer at O'Malley's pub and spent the entire night hugging a toilet while my roommate took unflattering photos for blackmail purposes.
Very unsexy. Very un-pack-worthy. So that holiday is permanently crossed off my list. Fuck that. "
"What about Easter?" Elias asks, clearly invested in this conversation now. "That's coming up. Bunnies, chocolate, springtime romance..."
Ruby throws her head back and laughs, a sharp bark of genuine amusement.
"HELL no! Easter? Me? I ain't holy enough for some Easter fling!
Can you imagine? Me trying to be demure and innocent and church-appropriate?
" She gestures at herself--leather jacket, bold lipstick, general aura of chaos.
"This is not Easter energy. This is 'got kicked out of Sunday school for asking too many questions about Lot's wife' energy. "
"That's oddly specific," Julian observes.
"It happened," Ruby confirms without elaborating.
"Besides, Easter has that whole hunting-for-eggs vibe, and I refuse to be hunted.
If anyone's doing the hunting, it's me. So summer is my best bet.
Summer has the right energy. Summer is hot and reckless and full of bad decisions that turn into great stories. "
She shrugs, continuing her explanation with the confidence of someone who has clearly thought about this extensively.
"I'm also way too hyper for the average pack.
Like, I come on strong. I talk too much.
I have opinions about everything and I'm not afraid to share them.
My only hope is finding those summer fraternity boy types who match my energy, but make them older and hotter and with actual jobs and retirement plans. "
"That's very specific criteria," Tank says, sounding impressed despite himself.
"Hell, they can be bounty hunters for all I care," Ruby adds with a dismissive wave of her hand.
"As long as they're hot and they help me hide the bodies of anyone who pisses me off.
That's really all I'm looking for in a pack.
Looks, loyalty, and a willingness to commit light felonies on my behalf. "
Elias chuckles, shaking his head. "You're planning to manifest a wild summer, huh?"
"Like how you guys are planning to somehow whisk your delulu fair maiden over here away on a private jet?" Ruby shoots back, jerking her thumb in my direction. "Don't think I haven't noticed all the whispered conversations and the suspicious amount of packing happening. You're not subtle."
Private jet? Wait. What private jet? When did private jets enter the equation?
I try to process this new information through the fog in my brain, but it's like trying to catch smoke with my bare hands. The words are there, floating around the edges of my consciousness, but they won't quite stick together into coherent meaning.
What does stick, however, is something much more important.
"You," I say suddenly, pointing at Ruby with what I hope is righteous indignation but is probably just chaotic arm-waving.
"You. Stop talking to my Alpha like he's yours.
He's mineeeee." I draw out the last word for emphasis, because it's important that she understands.
"Mine. Not yours. Mine. All three of them. Mine."
I'm pointing very firmly at Ruby to make my point, except when I look at where my finger is actually aimed, I realize I'm pointing at the ceiling. There's a water stain up there that I've apparently decided to threaten on Ruby's behalf.
Everyone loses it.
The room erupts into laughter--Julian's restrained chuckles, Elias's full-bodied guffaws, Tank's deep rumble of amusement, even the doctor politely covering her mouth to hide her smile. Ruby looks like she can't decide whether to be offended or delighted.
"I just got that on camera," Julian announces, waving his phone triumphantly. "That is going directly into the permanent archive."
Tank sighs, but there's nothing but fondness in his expression. "She's going to kill you when she sees that."
"Probably," Julian agrees cheerfully. "Won't have any regrets either. Some things are worth the consequences."
Elias nods solemnly. "It'll be interesting seeing her expression when she watches this recorded moment later. Especially the part about Rio and multitasking."
Julian smirks, tucking his phone away. "I'll save it for special occasions. Anniversaries. Birthdays. Any time I need leverage in an argument."
"That's diabolical," Ruby says approvingly. "I respect it."
They're conspiring against me. My own pack and my best friend are conspiring against me while I'm too medicated to defend myself. This is betrayal of the highest order.
I want to protest, but it seems like too much effort. Everything seems like too much effort right now. Even keeping my eyes open is starting to feel like an Olympic-level achievement.
"Are we bringing Sasha?" Elias asks, his voice drifting into my awareness from somewhere to my right. "Wherever we're going?"
"We could," Tank replies thoughtfully. "Just need to work out the paperwork. Pet transport internationally requires some documentation."
Internationally? Where are we going that requires international pet transport? Are we leaving the country? Since when is that the plan?
I try to ask these very important questions out loud, but what comes out is something completely incomprehensible--a string of syllables that might be words in some language but definitely aren't coherent English.
Everyone turns to look at me, varying degrees of confusion on their faces.
I try again, putting all my concentration into forming actual words. "Sasha," I manage, "has to come. No dogs left behind. That's abuse. That's cruelty. That's illegal in... in probably some places."
"We wouldn't dream of leaving Sasha behind," Tank assures me gently. "He's part of the pack too."
"Good," I say firmly, nodding again. The room does another pleasant spin. "He's a good boy. The best boy. He deserves international travel. He deserves to see the world. He deserves pao de queijo."
"Dogs can't eat cheese," Julian points out.
"Some dogs can eat cheese," I counter, though I'm not actually sure if that's true. It feels like it should be true. "Sasha can eat whatever he wants. He's special."
Ruby groans loudly, pushing herself up from where she's been leaning against the wall. "God, I cannot watch this any longer. My best friend has been replaced by a cheese-obsessed, possessive, delusional version of herself, and I need to go process this somewhere that doesn't smell like antiseptic."
"Where's my bestie going?!" I demand, trying to reach for her and failing miserably because my arms apparently don't work properly right now. "Ruby! Don't leave me! Come back!"
Tank's hand moves from my cheek to my hair, stroking soothingly. "She's going to make sure the cafe is taken care of while we're gone," he explains in that low, calming voice of his. "And she's going to help pack some outfits for you for where we're headed."
I pout, my lower lip jutting out in what I'm sure is a very pathetic and manipulative manner. "Where are we going?"
Tank smirks, that infuriatingly handsome smirk that makes my stomach do little flips even through the medication haze. "It's a surprise. But I promise you're going to love it."
"Is it Rio?" I ask hopefully.
"It's not Rio."
"It should be Rio."
"Noted." His smirk widens. "But it's somewhere you'll enjoy just as much, I promise. Maybe even more. Somewhere you can rest and recover properly, away from all the stress and the chaos and the people who want to hurt you."
Somewhere away from all the stress. Somewhere safe. With my Alphas. That does sound nice, even if it's not Rio with its cheese balls and convenient religious monuments.
"But if you don't rest," Tank continues, his voice dropping into something more serious, "we can't get there faster. You need to sleep, Sweetness. Let the medication do its job. Let your body heal."
I close my eyes obediently, then immediately open them again. "I'm closing my eyes and resting," I announce. "See? Resting. Let's go."
Tank chuckles, leaning down to press a soft kiss to my forehead. His lips are warm against my skin, and his scent--cedar and pine and safety--wraps around me like a blanket. "No faking sleep, Sweetness. Actually sleep."
"I'm not faking," I protest, even though my eyes are definitely still open and I'm definitely still awake. "Look. I'm asleep. This is what asleep looks like. Let's go to the not-Rio place."
"That's not how sleep works," Julian points out, sounding thoroughly entertained.
"You don't know how my sleep works," I counter, which doesn't make any sense but feels like a solid argument in my current state.
"I'm surprised you're being so patient with her," Julian admits to Tank, and I can hear the genuine curiosity in his voice. "This is a lot. The Rio rants, the possessive pointing at ceilings, the general chaos. It's a lot."
Tank's hand continues its gentle path through my hair, each stroke pulling me a little deeper toward actual sleep.
"Through sickness and in health, right?" he says softly.
"That's the deal. That's what pack means.
We don't just love her when she's put together and charming.
We love her when she's drugged up and ranting about Brazilian vacation destinations.
" I can hear the smile in his voice even without opening my eyes.
"Besides, she's simply adorable like this.
Ridiculous, but adorable. Look at her trying to threaten Ruby by pointing at the ceiling. That's peak comedy."