Chapter 11
Stella
I leave my room lightning fast to join Layla on the beach. I couldn’t say no to her when she offered it this morning.
The warm air feels good on my skin as I run in the streets. The scent of saltwater and blooming jasmine fills my senses as I continue down the streets.
For once, I don’t feel the usual sting of panic that comes with being late because it’s Layla I’m joining. I sigh internally. I am getting attached to these people way too quickly.
The second I see her, a smile spreads across my face, and I drop my bag on the sand and walk towards her. The sound of waves rolling gently onto the shore fills the air, their rhythmic crash calming. “I’m happy to see you,” I admit as I hug her.
She smiles and hugs me back, as if we didn’t see each other mere hours ago. “I’m happy to see you too.”
A mischievous spark flickers in her blue eyes and, before I can react, her hand twitches, and a powerful jet of water surges out of the shoreline, drenching me from head to toe.
I freeze, blinking in surprise, water dripping from my hair down to my clothes. Layla is struggling to hold in her laughter, her eyes shining with triumph.
I burst into laughter. “You really couldn’t wait another minute?”
She shrugs playfully, grinning ear to ear. “Nope. Had to catch you off guard!”
I chuckle, wiping the water from my face. “Well, congratulations, you’ve done it.”
We lock eyes, and the next thing I know, I’m sprinting toward the water, determined to splash her back. But as soon as I get close, the tide shifts— away from me.
I step closer. The water moves farther.
I step again. It moves farther.
I turn to Layla, finding her holding in her laughter with everything she has.
“Oh, you just wait!” I chase after her. I don’t think I’ve ever had this much fun in my entire life.
Our laughter fills the air, echoing across the beach. The golden light from the setting sun bathes everything in a warm glow, and for a moment, I forget everything else.
We spend hours in the water after that—splashing, swimming, racing. Finally, we’re both soaked down to our bones and out of breath from laughter, the cool evening air sending shivers down my spine. The sun begins to sink lower in the sky, painting the horizon in shades of pink and orange.
Eventually, the laughter fades, and a peaceful silence settles over us as we pack up.
“Hey . . .” Layla starts shyly. “I just wanted to say . . . this has been the best day I’ve had in a long time.”
I smile. “Me too.”
She nods, looking down at the sand for a moment. “It’s been so long since someone’s come out here with me. The beach . . . it’s my favorite place in the world.”
“Then I’m happy I spent my day here with you.”
I grab my phone to pack it away, but notifications on it grab my attention. Layla’s voice fades away, and my heart pulses in my ears.
No, no, no, no.
Everyone in the city, and I mean everyone , is wondering where I’m at. News articles are coming out, full of absurd ideas to justify why I left the city.
My blood runs cold as I continue reading dozens of article titles. My stomach twists, and tears fill my eyes. I want to throw my phone into the ocean
I’m letting everyone down. My family, the people who supported me, everyone who once believed in me, my fans who cheered me on since my first tournament.
God, why can’t I just keep it together? Not be such a mess ?
Why can’t I just be enough?
The ringing in my ears grows louder, drowning out the world around me. Just when I feel like I might suffocate from it, a gentle hand lands on my shoulder.
“Stella?” Layla asks.
I want to cry. I want to scream. It feels like I’m going to explode. The pressure is so heavy all the time. No matter what I do, it never is fucking enough.
I should be back home, but I don’t want to go back. At least not now—
Every thought halts to a stop when Layla wraps her arms around me from behind.
How did these siblings learn how to give the best hugs?
I try to pull back slightly, but she still holds me, rocking us gently side to side. For the first time in what feels like forever, the overthinking goes quiet, and the relief floods through me. Finally, some quiet.
“Stella,” Layla murmurs, her voice barely a whisper, “you don’t have to tell me what’s going on, but I just want you to know . . . you don’t have to go through this alone.”
I smile, nodding through teary eyes. We don’t say anything else after that.
…
When I get home, I grab my phone and make a call.
Layla’s embrace and soothing words helped clear some of the doubts away.
I need to let go of the power I used to give to other people’s words, and that starts with ignoring their opinions on what I should do. I need to learn to trust myself, one step at a time, even if it feels impossible right now. After all, no one has all the answers.
But there is one person whose opinion I really want to hear right now.
Derek picks up on the first ring.
“Hey, Stella,” he says warmly.
I smile despite myself. “Hey, Derek.”
We stay quiet before he breaks it by barking a loud laugh. “Come on, Stella. Tell me what’s on your mind. Your silence is freaking me out.”
I laugh, a little nervous. “I was just wondering . . . do you think I should come back home?”
The pause on the other end feels like it stretches on forever.
I start rambling, unable to hold my thoughts back from him. “I’ve been seeing posts, articles . . . people are asking where I am. Maybe I should go back. If I stay away for too long, I might lose my chance at—”
“I don’t think you should come back to the city.”
I freeze, then, unable to help it, I chuckle. “You feel better now that I’m not annoying you all the time?”
He laughs. “No. I loved our time together just as much as you did. But I think you need the distance.” His voice softens. “I see now how much you needed a break. You need time to breathe.”
I want to jump through the phone and hug him.
But my heart truly cracks when he whispers, regret in his voice, “I’m sorry if I was unsupportive that day. I’m sorry for not seeing the signs sooner.”
Tears sting my eyes, but I blink them away. “What? No, you have nothing to—”
“Yes, I do. You’re my best friend. I should have seen the signs that you needed a break from everything earlier.
I should have talked to you about the unhealthy behaviors you had.
Instead, I kept quiet. I was so caught up with my own bullshit that I didn’t allow you to see through your own. I’m sorry for that, Stella.”
Now I really am going to cry. “I’m sorry too.”
He sighs, and I can tell he’s as emotional as I am. “I’m proud of you, you know?” His voice is quiet, but I hear his smile in every syllable.
Then Derek keeps going— Crap, I need a tissue box now —“I know you haven’t been feeling like yourself for a long time, but you’re getting there, and I’m proud of you for that.”
I blink back the pressure behind my eyes. I’m proud of me too.
“I’m trying.”
Derek’s voice is confident, and I know he’s grinning. “Stella, I know you’ll get there. There’s nothing you ever set your mind to that you didn’t accomplish. Just believe a little more in yourself.”
I smile. It was the first piece of advice he gave me when we started training together.
It feels like a new era of us. A new beginning.
And it couldn’t make me happier.
We hang up and, as I put my phone away, I notice there’s something new in the room—a note. I grab it from the floor. Someone must have slipped it below my door.
The writing is all flowery and pretty cursive.
Hi, Stella.
Our talk with my sisters from yesterday stuck with me.
So, I wanted to invite you to come over to my flower shop tomorrow.
We can chat and get to know each other a little better, if you’re interested.
Hopefully your friend,
Hazel
My heart warms. She’s the sweetest.
Of course, I’ll come over.
When I’m in bed, looking out into the moonlit sky, I can’t help but smile.
Despite the mess my life is in, despite the chaos I’ll have to handle when I return home, despite every doubt and fear in my head, I still go to bed with a grin on my face.