Chapter XVII
Cassandra
My brain splits open, cracking in two like lightning splintering a tree as I begin to awaken in the darkness.
All I can feel is pain. Every twitch of me sets my nerves ablaze.
My body feels like it’s no longer my own.
A wave of sickness engulfs me and my stomach twists and lurches as if I’m plummeting.
Still, there’s a different kind of hunger clawing at my stomach, strangling my intestines.
Everything in my mind is pounding like a drum, thick fog glazing over every thought and memory.
God, I can’t even think straight.
An electric shock blasts through my mind, and I groan as the film of my last memories begins, jumping and flickering as it plays, spots of light burning through each flashback.
It’s fast and sporadic. I see Izcacus, his scarred body, my naked body on top of his, blood dripping—so much blood.
My face is twisted in pain or pleasure. I can’t tell.
And then, Izcacus sinking his fangs into the side of my neck before the film cuts out, rolling like it’s the end of the tape.
The bite.
My eyes crack open, the crypt spinning before it settles. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust, but I can then see every vein on the stone ceiling with sharp clarity. Blinking rapidly, my brain struggles to process what’s in front of me, and I whimper as I cover my eyes with my hands.
Panic drowns me for reasons that don’t make sense, because this is what I wanted, and I know deep down that it has worked. I’m just afraid to face the monster that I’ve become.
After taking a moment to steel my nerves, I sit up to see Izcacus sitting on the edge of the platform. He’s watching me with caution in his eyes.
“Did it work?” I croak out, already knowing the answer.
He nods in response, and I force myself to blink, feeling like I’m in a daze. Izcacus passes me a gold, handheld mirror embellished with hyacinths. While I don’t need to breathe anymore, I take one anyway.
Upon turning it over, my heart goes deathly still, and it takes a few seconds before I’m able to look at myself.
The gasp that escapes me is sharp and full of horror.
All life looks like it has been sucked out of me, leaving only a gaunt face, dark hollowness around my eyes, and skin that shines like the moon.
I look monstrous, like a nightmare. A strange grief devours me.
It’s as if I’ve shed my skin like a snake, becoming something new.
Talons to rip through flesh, sharp teeth to chew through bone.
Eyes that glow red with pure evil. But when I looked at Izcacus, his eyes aren’t evil.
All I see reflecting in his eyes is love, and adoration.
How could I hate the monster that I’ve become when I love the monster that he is?
Izcacus moves behind me, and I see him reflected in the mirror as he strokes my hair adoringly. We look like the monstrous pair that we were always destined to be.
“You are so beautiful,” he murmurs.
My fingers run over the two red spots on my neck as I study myself longer. This mark will be my new favorite thing about myself. A symbol that I am his.
Hunger gnaws at my stomach, chewing at my insides like rabid rats stuck in a cage, desperate to find an exit. My hands clasp my stomach, and I fight the urge to cut through my flesh and rip out my intestines.
“You were in a slumber for a while. You will need blood. Let me nourish you, my heart. I will bring you someone to eat.”
My stomach churns at the thought. If I do devour a human, this is an ethical line that I cannot come back from.
“I…I’m,” I stutter, hesitating.
Maybe I lost my humanity as soon as I changed into a monster. This is what I had asked for, so that I could stop running from fear and be free.
Growls erupt from my stomach, and I hiss, flashing my pointed fangs as if the two parts of me battle for dominance. Why do I feel compelled to hold onto my humanity? I don’t have to be a sweet, pliable woman. That version of me is gone, buried. Now I live on my own terms.
I can be a monster without a shred of shame.
Decided, I nod my head in agreement. “Only men,” I tell him. Any of the little humanity I have left will be saved for women. They have suffered enough, and I won’t contribute to more harm. Instead, I will devour the men who think they can take and take with no consequence.
Izcacus grins, pleased by my response. He kisses the top of my head.
At my request, Izcacus bows low before fading out of the room, darkness wrapped around him.