22. Conrad #2
Bianca inhaled slowly. And in the calmest tone imaginable for a nine-year-old discussing vampire emergencies, she said, “First, we need a solid plan.”
The doorbell rang at exactly eight-thirteen. We’d been waiting for over an hour. It wasn’t like Winnie to be late.
I stood from the couch so fast I nearly spilled my drink onto Bianca, who was sitting ramrod straight beside me with a notebook in her lap.
CJ looked equally tense, though he was trying to hide it by pretending to casually doodle dragons breathing fire over tiny stick figures labeled EVIL VAMPIRE MAN.
Billie had climbed entirely underneath the coffee table ten minutes ago “for tactical reasons.”
None of us were handling this normally. Which, in fairness, was difficult to do when you’ve discovered your nanny was a vampire and her terrifying undead-looking boyfriend might also be a serial killer.
I wiped my palms against my jeans and crossed toward the front door. My pulse was pounding hard enough to make me slightly nauseous.
Perhaps the kids were wrong. Maybe this was all explainable.
Maybe—
I opened the door and immediately knew absolutely none of this was explainable.
Winnie stood on the porch. For one awful, stupid second, my brain forgot how to function because she looked—different. She was still beautiful enough to make me do a double take, but she was muted somehow.
She wore black, of course, but not her usual soft vintage dresses and layered cardigans.
Tonight, it was a fitted dark blouse buttoned high at the throat and a long black skirt that fell almost to her ankles.
No parasol. No oversized sunglasses. Her red hair had been pinned back too tightly, exposing more of her face than usual.
She looked pale. And her eyes?—
Good God.
Her eyes looked empty, like someone had dimmed something inside her.
Then the creepy man stepped into view behind her.
Tall didn’t begin to cover it. He unfolded into my doorway.
Dark hair hung nearly to his waist, partially tied back.
Expensive black coat. Gray eyes that landed on me with amusement, like I was something mildly entertaining he’d found beneath a shoe.
His smile appeared a second later. Completely dead behind the eyes.
Every protective instinct I possessed detonated. The kids had been right. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know why. But every cell in my body recognized danger.
“Conrad,” Winnie said quietly.
I dragged my attention back to her. “You came.”
The sentence nearly killed me.
Her gaze flickered downward briefly.
The man beside her smiled wider. “How precious,” he murmured.
I wanted to punch him, but I stepped aside mechanically. “Come in.”
The second he stepped into our foyer, the entire house felt wrong. I know that sounds insane, but suddenly my home no longer felt fully like my home. Like something ancient and predatory had entered it.
The kids were waiting in the living room. The second they saw the man, all three froze.
Billie actually stopped mid-breath.
CJ lowered his notebook slowly.
Bianca’s eyes widened so much I thought they might stay that way permanently.
For once in their lives, my children had absolutely nothing to say.
The man seemed thrilled by this. “Children,” he said warmly, though warmth had absolutely nothing to do with the sound. “How lovely you all are.”
Nope.
Absolutely not.
Every survival instinct I possessed recoiled violently.
Winnie stood beside him silently.
I hated it.
“This is Bogdan,” Winnie said quietly.
The man inclined his head slightly.
Billie blinked.
“Bogan?” she repeated. “Like a redneck?”
Bianca groaned immediately. “Why are you so obsessed with Australian things?”
Billie shrugged. “Because… kangaroos.”
Under any other circumstances, I would’ve laughed.
CJ looked between them thoughtfully. “Bogan? Like the start of a book?”
Bogdan frowned. “What?”
“Begin,” CJ explained. “Bo-gan.”
The man’s smile tightened visibly. “No,” he said. “It is BOG-DAN.”
“Like bog?” Billie asked.
“No.”
“Like booger?”
“Billie,” Bianca hissed.
CJ tilted his head thoughtfully. “So not begin?”
Bogdan’s jaw flexed. “BOG. DAN.”
The humor died immediately. Bogdan wasn’t reacting like a normal person mildly annoyed by children. He looked genuinely irritated that the conversation existed at all. Clearly, he wasn’t used to people speaking to him so casually. Or challenging him. Or being human around him.
I hated him more every second.
“Dinner’s ready,” I said tightly.
We moved into the dining room. Bogdan pulled Winnie’s chair out for her before she could sit. The gesture should’ve looked gentlemanly, but it only looked possessive. I clenched my jaw so hard, I was sure I heard a tooth crack.
Winnie sat automatically without looking at him.
The kids exchanged nervous glances.
I started serving mostly to occupy my hands before I committed felony assault. I prepared rotisserie chicken, pasta, and roasted vegetables. Just a normal dinner for a normal, absolutely psychotic vampire evening.
The kids picked at their food.
I noticed immediately neither Winnie nor Bogdan touched anything, not even their water. They weren’t even pretending. Bogdan simply sat there, smiling faintly while watching all of us. No, it was more than watching. He was studying us with some kind of evil-ass smirk on his face.
I caught CJ staring openly at his teeth. Bianca elbowed him discreetly. Billie kicked both of them under the table because subtlety had never once entered her body.
Nobody spoke for almost a full minute.
Finally, I asked, “Are you okay, Winnie?”
Her eyes flicked immediately toward Bogdan before returning to me. “I’m well.”
Lie. Again.
Every word out of her mouth sounded rehearsed.
I set my fork down carefully. “Winnie?—”
Bogdan stood so suddenly his chair scraped violently backward.
The kids jumped.
Hell, I jumped.
Bogdan looked around the table slowly. Then smiled. “This is becoming dreadfully tedious.”
The room went still.
He folded his hands behind his back almost casually. “I suppose the suspense is killing me.”
Nobody moved. Nobody breathed.
“I am Winifred’s sire.”
Silence.
“I am over five hundred years old.”
Billie’s mouth dropped open.
CJ whispered, “Dear God.”
Bianca clutched the edge of the table hard enough her knuckles turned white.
My brain had simply given up entirely. There was only so much psychological damage a man could sustain in one week. “Sire?” I repeated blankly.
Bogdan smiled at me. “Yes. The creature responsible for her existence.”
Creature. Not person.
Something inside me turned cold.
“She has spoken so very fondly of all of you,” he continued. “Which is unfortunate.”
Winnie flinched.
Bogdan paced slowly around the table. “She grew attached,” he said almost thoughtfully. “That has always been her greatest weakness.”
My pulse hammered painfully.
Winnie sat rigidly in her chair, hands clenched tightly in her lap.
“Do you know,” Bogdan mused, “how terribly dull immortality becomes after several centuries?”
Nobody answered.
He smiled wider. “Eventually one must create entertainment where one can.”
Every instinct I possessed screamed danger now.
Bogdan looked from Winnie to us, then his expression brightened. “Oh.” He laughed softly. “I nearly forgot the important part.” His gaze landed on me directly. “She loves you.”
The words punched me directly in the gut.
Winnie inhaled hard. “Bogdan?—”
He ignored her. “Not merely you,” he continued conversationally. “The children as well. Quite thoroughly, I’m afraid.”
The kids stared at Winnie. She looked devastated.
Bogdan sighed dramatically. “Naturally, that simply cannot be allowed.”
Something primal tore through me. Every muscle in my body tightened. “What are you talking about?”
Bogdan’s smile returned. “Punishment, Conrad.”
My name in his mouth sounded revolting.
“She trapped me, you see,” he continued. “For over a century.”
I stared at Winnie. Her eyes filled with horror.
Bogdan leaned lightly against the table. “And since she has become so emotionally invested in your delightful little family…” He smiled lazily. “I thought it only fitting that she be the one to put you to rest.”
My ears were ringing, the words not making any sense.
And then they did.
Billie gasped loudly. CJ stood halfway out of his chair. Bianca started crying instantly. I shoved backward from the table so hard my chair hit the wall.
Winnie looked panicked now. “Please,” she whispered. “Don’t make me?—”
“Attack,” Bogdan said pleasantly.
Winnie jerked violently. Like invisible strings had suddenly yanked tight.
My blood went cold.
This wasn’t metaphorical.
Whatever he was?—
Whatever this connection was?—
It was real. And it was powerful.
Winnie stood abruptly from her chair. Her whole body trembled.
“Fight it,” Bianca cried.
Winnie made a horrible sound in the back of her throat. “I’m trying.”
Bogdan smiled.
I looked at all three of my children. Then nodded once, giving them the signal to initiate our grand plan.
All three kids jumped into motion with terrifying coordination.
For one surreal second, Bogdan simply stood there watching them. Amused. Then Billie launched the first water balloon directly at his chest. It burst against his coat with a wet smack.
Bogdan blinked down slowly. “Was that a balloon?”
“Holy water balloon,” Billie corrected.
“We blessed it ourselves,” CJ added.
Smoke hissed from the front of his coat. Bogdan looked genuinely offended.
“Oh,” Bianca said with satisfaction. “Good. That means it works.”
CJ whipped out one of the olive oil misters from behind his back and sprayed Bogdan directly in the face with garlic-infused oil. The kitchen immediately smelled like an Italian exorcism.
Bogdan recoiled violently. “What in God’s?—”
“It’s actually in God’s name,” CJ informed him while continuing to spray. “Important distinction.”
The entire situation had gone so catastrophically off the rails I genuinely couldn’t process it fast enough. Water balloons. Garlic. My children were attempting to Home Alone a five-hundred-year-old vampire.