CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN
Something was wrong.
How often had he felt this feeling? How many times had he thought this thought?
Gabe was looking out a dirty, cracked window on a gray, decayed landscape. There didn’t seem to be much beyond the potholed road but muddy fields and a distant, dense forest. Above, a forbidding, slate gray sky loomed.
It was cold.
They were traveling.
The realization dawned on him with a strange kind of lethargy. He was in a car, being driven. And something was deeply wrong.
Gabe could feel terror boiling madly in his guts.
He turned to look and saw that it was Ellen driving. She was angry about something. Beyond angry.
“Where are we going?” he asked.
She didn’t respond. She might as well have not heard him, despite the uncomfortable silence that seemed to fill the car.
Gabe looked ahead. In the distance, he saw an old iron building. It looked enormous, closer to a skyscraper than what he knew it to be: an old, rundown warehouse.
And the terror came on like a tidal wave then, rearing up in a seeming endless frozen instant of utter and absolute yammering, mindless fear, throwing a heavy shadow across the totality of his own interior topography, and then-
“Gabe!”
He jerked awake. Abby and Emily loomed over him. For a moment, he remained frozen in terror, his breathing shaky, his heart hammering in his chest.
“What happened?” he managed. His mind was a confusion of images and awful feelings. He couldn’t be sure of where he even was right now.
“You were having a nightmare,” Abby replied, a look of uncharacteristic worry on her face.
“Oh...right,” he said, then cleared his throat and rubbed sluggishly at his eyes. “Shit.”
“It looked...pretty bad,” Emily murmured awkwardly.
“It was…” Gabe could recall images, certainly he could recall the feelings the nightmare had invoked because he was still feeling them, but he couldn’t grasp the meaning or even shape of the dream. Already, it was fading like smoke on the wind. “I’m not sure.”
“Sorry,” Emily replied, still sounding a little lost.
“Here,” Abby said, offering him a glass of cold water.
He thanked her and drank half of it one go, paused to catch his breath, then finished the rest and set the cup on the nightstand.
“I’m, uh, all right,” he said after a moment. They were still lingering uncertainly.
“All right,” Abby replied, still seeming vaguely uncertain.
Man, how bad had he seemed from the outside?
“Think I need a shower,” he said, looking for some excuse to get out of the bed and regroup his thoughts.
“Can I join?” Emily asked.
At a glance, he could see that Abby had been up for some time, and he’d likely woken Emily. Had he been thrashing, or making noise?
“Yeah, uh, lemme go to the bathroom first,” he replied.
“Okay.”
He headed into the bathroom and did his business, then stared at himself in the mirror for a bit. He looked pretty fried. They’d gotten baked yesterday. Nothing intense, just some fun, but apparently it hadn’t been enough to settle his mind.
What had he been dreaming about? Ellen. He knew that much.
Gabe sighed and got in the shower. A moment later, Emily appeared and slipped silently inside.
“You sure you’re okay?” she asked after a long moment.
“I’m settling,” he replied. “Was I making noise or anything?”
“Yeah. Kinda like...words? I don’t know, it was like hearing every third or fourth word in a song through static on the radio.”
“Anything specific?”
“It kind of seemed like you were...pleading? I don’t know. It was concerning.”
“Great,” he muttered.
Another uncomfortable moment passed, and then Emily’s whole demeanor shifted as she seemed to realize something.
“Aw, shit, Gabe. I’m not-this isn’t-I’m not acting weirded out because I’m thinking differently about you,” she said quickly. “I know that’s a thing with guys. I’m kinda freaked out because...I don’t really know how to handle stuff like this? But I don’t want to just...ignore you?”
He felt something in him relax slightly and he almost laughed. He was still worried about that. Looking weak. Being judged.
By women.
Judged and abandoned.
Hmm. Abandoned…
That triggered a flicker of recognition that almost caught into a memory, but it didn’t, and he turned away from it. He didn’t want to think about it, whatever it was.
“I get it,” he said. “And I appreciate that you’re trying. I’m not sure why I had a nightmare...shit, maybe it’s because I’ve gotten used to sleeping at my place with Ellen and the others? I’m not sure.” He yawned, then sighed and started washing up. “Anyway, what time is it?”
“Around eleven,” she replied. “Hmm.” She frowned.
“What?”
“Well, Ellen asked me and Abby basically to keep you here until about two? Today’s, you know, your big day. They’re preparing at your place. But now I’m wondering if maybe we should get you back there earlier because of the nightmare…”
“I’m okay with staying here until two,” Gabe replied. “I’ll be all right. Just need to finish waking up.” He smiled suddenly and reached out, cupping her breasts. “But I know something that could help pass the time…”
She smiled, then paused, then groaned. “Fuck. I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Ellen made us promise. No sex today. No fooling around. You need to save it up for tonight.”
“I see.” He sighed and let his hands drop. “Well, that makes sense.”
“Yeah. Sucks. But it’ll be worth the wait.”
“True. We should probably hurry up and get out of here, because you are getting increasingly tempting.”
She laughed. “Probably, yeah.”
…
“Oh! I completely fucking forgot to actually give you your gifts last night,” Gabe said as he pulled his shoes on.
He’d spent the last two and a half hours hanging out with Em and Abby, a lingering sense that he’d forgotten something haunting him. Then he’d seen the small, gift-wrapped package on the dining room table. He walked over and picked it up, then walked over to Emily.
“Here.”
“Oh shit, right,” she muttered, taking it and tearing off the paper. “Oh! A physical copy of Recovery. Nice. Thank you.”
“Turn it over.”
She turned it over, frowned, squinted, then her eyes widened. “Holy shit! It’s fucking signed?” She laughed and hugged him, then kissed him. “Believe me, I am thanking you for this tonight.”
“I kinda feel like you thanked me for it last night, but I won’t say no to a second round,” Gabe replied.
She laughed again, kissed him once more, then let him give Abby her own gift.
“Okay,” he muttered, working his phone for a moment and then sending an email he’d already had ready.
“I’ve sent something to your email. You mentioned you’ve been struggling with boredom and wanted to try new things.
I hunted through a whole bunch of places that might interest you and bought you a one lesson trial to three different things.
A book club, archery, and a guitar lesson. ”
Emily gasped. “Oh my God, it would be so hot and awesome if you learned archery or guitar.”
“Jesus, thanks, Gabe,” Abby replied. “That’s...a pretty thoughtful gift.”
“Yeah, just crush my toes, why don’t you?” Emily added.
“You give just fine thoughtful gifts, my love. You and I have the reality of being a married couple. I think it’s easier for Gabe to show up with something amazing like this. I mean, shit, how’d you even get that?”
“I...oh wait, have I not mentioned this? Fuck, I have way too much going on in my life. I can’t remember who knows what.
Chloe and I met with the founder of the indie studio that made Recovery.
Chloe had asked her for permission to stream early access for Recovery Two, and the founder happened to be flying across the country and was going to have a layover nearby.
She offered to meet us somewhere. We talked, she was cool. ”
“That’s so fucking awesome,” Emily whispered.
He almost told them about his own development there, but he hadn’t actually signed the contract yet. Soon.
A lot was going to happen soon.
“It was pretty cool,” he agreed.
“Thank you, Gabe. I have to admit, I’ve been interested in archery for a while. This is a great excuse.” She checked her phone again. “Okay, we should probably start heading over now.”
Emily laughed. “Man, you are going to shit when you see what we’ve got planned for you.”
…
Gabe knew that Emily and Abby would have to prepare, but by the time they arrived, the others weren’t actually ready yet.
He also saw Sadie’s car. And Kim’s.
Abby and Emily seemed excited.
“Okay, so, for this part, we need you to go straight up to your office, close the door, and do not open it until we say,” Emily said.
“...all right. Can I get an energy drink at least?”
“I will get it for you,” Emily replied firmly. “Go. To. Your. Office.”
He laughed. “Okay! Okay. I’ll go.”
“Good boy.”
He walked inside. The house seemed empty and silent, but there was a sense of expectation on the air. It wasn’t unlike the energy on the air of a surprise party. Like everyone was just out of sight, ready to surprise him.
He supposed, in a way, that’s what was happening.
Gabe took off his shoes and coat, then headed straight to his office. He closed the door. He had just turned on his laptop when he heard someone approach, then knock.
“Gabe?” It was Ellen.
“Hey, babe. What’s up?” he replied.
It was a little weird talking through the closed door, but he supposed they’d done it often enough at this point. He spent enough time in his office with the door closed.
“Are you feeling okay?” She sounded anxious. “Emily said you had a pretty bad nightmare.”
“I did, but I can’t remember what it was about. I’m doing okay right now.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“Okay. Just so you know, we’re all going somewhere together in about...half an hour.” She paused as he heard someone shout something. Emily, he thought. Ellen sighed. “Okay, probably closer to an hour. Emily takes fucking forever to do anything.”
“Eat me!”
Well, he heard that one clearly enough.
Ellen snorted. “So, you gonna be okay in there?”
“I am.”
“Okay. Oh, wait, here. Abby just got here with your drink.” A pause. “I’m going to open the door and place it on the floor, then close the door. Do not look. Seriously.”
“Don’t worry, babe. I don’t want to spoil the surprise. We are of the same mind in this.”
“Okay.” Another pause. “Sorry, so used to people who just have to know.”
She put the energy drink on the floor, closed the door, then walked away with Abby. Gabe grabbed it and drank a quarter of it, then set to work on checking on his socials. He’d been sorely neglecting them during this whole thing.
He was surprised by the amount of emails he had. Three. Legit emails, not just spam. Fan letters. He had been told that was more common in erotica, because people didn’t like to leave reviews. It made enough sense.
Gabe answered the emails. And the private messages on his socials. Then he read a handful of reviews he’d managed to garner during all this. Then he checked his numbers.
“Holy fuck me,” he whispered.
He hadn’t actually looked for the past six or so days. It was almost the end of the month. Tomorrow was the rare leap-year February 29th, then it would be March. In October, he’d made about seven hundred bucks. January had seen just over twenty six hundred. Clearly, he was on an upwards trend.
It was looking like he was going to breach thirty five hundred dollars this month.
There had been a surge of sales about four days ago.
It had peaked, but it was still going at a higher than usual rate.
The first episode of My Tall Blonde was selling better than any other title he’d put out so far.
He wouldn’t call it stellar, but it was clearly hitting traction.
And a hundred people had pre-ordered My Tall Blonde Two.
Holy crap.
And about half that many had gone on to pre-order at least two of the sequels.
Holy shit.
Thirty one people had pre-ordered the entire series.
Holy fuck.
He felt a strange kind of elation, one he hadn’t exactly felt before, as he studied the numbers.
It took him a few minutes to realize what it was: this was actually working.
That’s what it was. Or, not, not quite. This writing thing was actually working, and he believed it was working. That’s what the feeling was.
It felt intensely good, powerful, and vaguely anxious.
Before he could think much more about it, there was a knock at his door. It was Ellen. “All right, babe! We’re ready to show you!”