Chapter 11 #2
There's a pause, like he's tasting the absurdity of the plan himself.
"Footage of the 'boating accident,'" he says, almost reciting it like a script. "Write-ups in the local Bangkok papers about the degenerate American crime lord's son. Drugs, sex traffickin', reckless behavior—whole nine yards. Death certificate. Neat little bow tied around the whole mess."
"OK. Let's say I agree to this. Thank you, first of all. But none of that matters."
"What do ya mean?" Lorcan asks.
"I don't give a fuck about the damn LaRiccia Crime Family or what they might, or might not think I'm doing. You have my fucking woman, Lorcan." I'm growling now. I don't like it. It's cliche, and trite, and predictable.
But I can't stop it.
"She needs to come home.'
"Sure," Lorcan says. "If ya wanna get her killed."
"Why would she be in danger? They don't even know she exists."
"As of right now, no. They don't. But it's gonna take a week.
I just told ya. And in that week, we need things to go smooth.
To go to plan. What we don't need is Giovanni Bavga going nuclear over a fuckin' woman.
That's just not normal, my friend. If you over react and make her the reason?
Or if you bring her home and they see her?
Giovanni, they're gonna do a little check on her.
I don't know what they'll find, she's told me nothin' about herself.
But if there's anythin' to find, they will find it.
If they connect her to you, they'll use her to make a point.
They don't even need to suspect she saw anything, or was the cause of anything.
All they need to know is that you care."
He's not wrong. I look at Jino. "What do you think?"
He's pissed. "She could stay at my place."
I consider this. Lorcan doesn't object, either. Which leads me to believe he's OK with it.
But if Lorcan is right—and obviously, he is. Then Jino's place isn't any safer than mine. "They'll know by now," I tell Jino, "that we've been spending a lot of time together. If they see you with Emmaleen?" I shake my head. "It won't work. She stays with Lorcan."
Lorcan lets out a rough exhale. "She's a mess.
A complete fuckin' mess, Giovanni. I don't know if I can…
" He trails off, and when his voice comes back, it's softer, more ragged around the edges.
"I don't live the lifestyle anymore, brother.
I really don't. Haven't in a couple of years.
I've weaned myself off it, I swear I have.
But it took me a long damn time to get here, to claw my way out of that headspace.
I don't think I'm the man for this, ya know?
I'm not him anymore. I can't help her navigate through that kind of wreckage. Not like that. Not the way she'd need."
"Then who the hell else is there?" I ask, because I don't doubt a single word coming out of his mouth.
If Lorcan ó Fearghail says he's standing on the edge of something dangerous, I believe him without question.
That's precisely why I have my fucking cousin camping out in my guest room, babysitting me and the woman I've turned into my personal sex slave.
"There's no one else," Jino says flatly. "Unless I pack up and move to Boston myself. Set up camp there until it's over."
"Ah, right," Lorcan says, his Irish accent thickening with sarcasm. "That's brill. Mafia in Boston. Just what we need when we're all tryna lay low and keep our heads down."
"Then it's you," Jino spits back at him.
"So get a hold of yourself, Lorcan. For fuck's sake, this woman needs actual help and all you're thinking about is your own…
whatever the hell this is. Your precious peace of mind?
" He turns and walks towards the door. "I'll be outside.
I need some fuckin' air before I say something I'll regret. "
I say absolutely nothing as Jino stalks toward the door. Just waiting. Counting down in my head to the predictable door slam that's coming.
Three, two, one—
The door crashes shut hard enough to rattle the frame.
Immediately after the sound fades, Lorcan's voice cuts through the silence. "Does he know?"
"What the hell do you think?" I counter. "Of course he doesn't know. I take the blood oath seriously, Lorcan. Deadly serious. It's the only reason—the only reason—you're still breathing right now and not buried somewhere in those same woods."
His relief is immediate. A long breath. As if I would tell Jino about what we did as teenagers.
Fuck that.
"Well, I'm serious about her condition," Lorcan says.
"Jino's right about her state of mind. She's…
stuck, ya know? Really stuck. Doin' positions like she's still under your eye.
Arse in the air, forehead to the floor, and beggin' me—beggin' me, Giovanni—to take her back to her master.
Her King. To you." He pauses, and I can practically hear him dragging a hand through his hair.
"I get it. It's a real thing. Power-exchange withdrawal or whatever the hell ya wanna call it.
I'm watchin' it happen in real time. But…
" Another pause, longer this time. "I've already caught myself fantasizing about her, Giovanni.
The urges are there, ya know? They're loud. "
I do know.
I know exactly what he means. But I also know he's all we've got right now. Jino can't go. I can't go. It has to be Lorcan.
"Listen, Lorcan," I say, keeping my voice level, reasonable.
"It's not that hard. Really. It's a very predictable schedule.
You train her in the morning—positions, drills, whatever keeps her brain occupied.
Feed her by hand at mealtimes. Bathe her by hand afterward.
Let her sit under the table while you eat your own meal.
All the usual stuff. The structure she's used to. "
"And release her," he adds.
"Well, yeah. Obviously."
"What about punishments?" he asks.
"She needs them," I say simply. "Don't skip corrections just because you're uncomfortable. That'll make it worse for her."
"And what if I lose control?" His voice drops lower. "What if I cross a line I shouldn't?"
"Then I kill you," I say flatly.
There's about three seconds of dead silence on the line.
Then we both laugh—dark, humorless sounds that fade quickly into the quiet.
"One week," I say, sobering. "That's all I'm asking. And you know me, Lorcan. I don't share. Not ever. Not with anyone."
"Right," he mutters. "So what the fuck are ya doing, then? Why is Jino even there in the first place?"
I hesitate, then decide honesty is the only play here. "Because… he keeps me in line. He… makes sure she gets her lessons. Her structure. Her aftercare. He makes sure she fails just enough to need correction. Then I come in every night to handle the punishments myself."
"How hard do ya go?" he asks carefully.
I blow out a breath, leaning back against the wall.
"Depends on the night. Some nights, hard.
Some nights, less so. But she likes it, Lorcan.
I make damn sure she likes it. And I like her.
I really fucking like this girl. I want to keep her.
Like… forever. She makes me happy in a way I didn't think I could ever be.
I want to make her happy. I want her to get everything she needs, everything she wants.
That's why Jino is here. I'm just not… capable of giving her that other stuff.
The patient, methodical training part. I skip straight to the end every time. "
Which is a very polite way of saying… I can't control myself.
It doesn't feel like weakness to admit it to Lorcan. It feels like… commiseration.
He's silent for a long stretch after that. Maybe three or four full minutes. Probably lost in his own mind, sifting through his own memories of what it feels like to hold that kind of power over someone.
I know I am.
Finally, he says quietly, "I don't want to make mistakes with her, Giovanni. I can't afford to."
"You won't," I insist, trying to sound more confident than I feel. "You'll be fine. I trust you. Hell, I haven't even let her blow me yet, Lorcan."
"Shut up," he says, and I can hear the disbelief in his voice. "That pouty little mouth of hers? And you haven't—"
"It's driving me crazy," I admit. "And it will happen eventually. But… I'm going slow. Real slow. I don't want to make mistakes either, so I'm gonna train her properly first. I'm gonna let her get used to the way I like things done."
"Well," Lorcan says, and there's a hint of amusement creeping back into his tone. "Will you look at that. Giovanni Bavga actually has self-control."
"I'm trying," I mutter. "But it's… a struggle some days."
"I get it, brother. I do. But obviously, you've been into this lifestyle the whole time, haven't ya?
" He exhales loudly. "Well, I had some things goin'.
Some… interestin' times. But I'm not lyin' when I say I gave it up.
I walked away clean a couple years ago. Which means I'm out of practice.
I'm rusty as hell. I try not to think about it.
Make myself not think about it. And now…
you're tellin' me to think about it, ya know? "
"Just… keep your hands off her throat," I say, my voice hardening slightly. "That's all you gotta do. If I can keep my dick out of her mouth for six weeks surely you can handle not choking her for one."
"Right," he finally says, letting out a long breath. "Tell me exactly what you want me to do."