Chapter 31 #2
She followed behind me, whisper-shouting, “Did you two have a moment behind that closed door? I heard something crash. We all just kind of looked at each other and decided to let nature do its thing. You know?”
“Oh my God, stop. No. I did knock over my bookshelf, though. Because I was looking at Lee’s ass. Like a creep.”
Sutton giggled and poured us two eggnogs. She handed me one, and we cheers’d. “It’s a nice ass, girl. I don’t blame ya for one second.”
“It’s just like there’s still something there.
I know it, he knows it.” I gestured wildly around the bar.
“I think the entire city knows it. But it is what it is. I almost feel like he’s trying to make me squirm to see what I’ll do.
I’m not taking his bait, though. We’ve been down this road before, and we all know how that ended. ”
Sutton scoffed. “Yeah, you were an idiot then, and you’re an idiot now.”
I shot her a scowl and pretended to busy myself with dirty dishes so that I didn’t get distracted by Lee crooning on stage.
Sutton shrugged. “Well, you know what I always tell you. I will support you in whatever you do if it makes you happy. I will not support misery. But I will stand by you no matter what choices you make.”
“Why do I feel like this has some sort of deeper meaning than me almost possibly hooking up with Lee?”
“Because you and I both know it does.”
***
Lee’s hunch that if he whipped out his guitar, people would stay was spot on because we had a packed bar all the way until I had to do last call and basically throw the crowd out.
Once everyone left, our friends included, Lee and I got to cleaning.
I turned on the stereo and tied on my apron, dragging the trash can behind me to toss in empties.
Lee followed behind, wiping up tables and collecting glasses in a plastic bussing bin. “I think it was a really great night, Maggie. Don’t you?”
“I do, but I’m getting awfully nervous that people will only stick around if your handsome face is on stage crooning.”
He laughed. “Oh, I’m handsome now?”
I rolled my eyes. “You are. We both know it. Don’t distract me now. I’m trying to clean this mess up. I’m exhausted.”
Before I could even register what was happening, he had me in his arms, holding me close and swaying to the low, country ballad blaring from the speakers. I didn’t hesitate. I inched toward him, letting him rest his hand on my lower back.
“I know why you’re with my brother,” he said gruffly, bringing our joined hands to his chest. “It will be easy, and he’ll never keep you on your toes or ever make you feel anything less than complacent. It’s the safest path, and that’s why you’re picking him.”
“Picking him?” I momentarily lost my balance and almost fell headfirst into a table. I took a step back, putting some distance between us. “I didn’t realize this was now a meat market and I had a choice.”
“Oh, you have a choice, alright. You’ve had one since I came home, and you know it.”
“Speaking of that… How am I supposed to know you won’t get up and leave again?
This whole partnership is insane. You’re here, but for how long?
After the wedding? And what’s going on with you and Janelle?
” I was rambling, hard. But I was big mad.
I threw my hands on my hips and stared him down.
“You almost kissed me tonight, Lee. I know you were going to. I know when a Wilder man wants my tongue in his mouth.”
He winced and turned away from me.
“I need to play it safe, Lee. I can’t let you get between Dane and me, no matter how much you try to tempt me.
I need to get control of the Trust and keep this bar in my family, and there’s only one way to do that.
What you’re doing isn’t fair. To me, to Janelle, to your brother.
Oh my God, imagine if we had an affair and your momma found out? Jesus…”
“You’re playing it safe? Seriously? I see the way you look at me.
” He closed the space between us and put his hands on the bar, locking me in between his arms. “We both felt what happened between us tonight in that office. What happened just a few months ago, right there on top of that very ice chest? It’s been happening little by little since I got back.
You want me, I want you. So, why don’t you call this charade off and stop playing it ‘safe?’”
“I have to play it like this! I didn’t let another man near me for almost seven years after you left.
Dane is my first real relationship since then.
Do you honestly think I could survive someone else leaving me?
That’s all anyone ever does is leave! My heart cannot take another person in my life dying or walking out or going to Nashville—”
“You told me to go! You broke my heart, Magnolia. You told me to leave you. I didn’t walk out.” He moved away from me, pacing the length of the bar, running his hands through his hair.
“But you would have. Someday. You would have woken up and realized I was holding you back from everything you ever wanted, and you would have resented me. And that, Lee, would have been worse than you dying or leaving or walking away. Staying with me because you felt like you had to would be the worst possible thing you could do to me.” I choked back a sob caught in the depths of my throat.
When I looked up, he had tears in his eyes, too.
Years of pain and heartache were threatening to unfurl. The grief I held inside for so long was bubbling up to the surface, and I couldn’t keep any of it locked in anymore.
I did let him go. I begged him to leave. I’d never be able to live with myself if he stayed behind for me instead of going to Nashville and living out his dream. I’d spent almost every moment since then both full of regret and patting myself on the back for that decision.
The earthshattering ache of remembering that final conversation and all the things we said to each other came rushing to the front of my mind, and I winced.
The beautiful reveries we shared alongside the harsh accusations, the guilt and the agony of it all consumed me, practically bringing me to my knees.
“I am sorry, Lee, but if we didn’t break it off back then, you wouldn’t have any of the beautiful things you have now. The Grammy, the money, the fame, none of it. You would have missed all that just to be stuck here with me.”
His voice cracked as he glared at the floor, a mix of hurt and anger swirling in his eyes. “Stuck with you. Are you kidding me?”
“No, I’m not. Everyone knew out of the five of us, I was the one who was never gonna go anywhere, and I knew if I asked you to, you would have stayed.”
He watched me for a moment, his eyes heavy with sadness, as if what I just said tore his world apart. “I would have stayed in a heartbeat.”
“I know you would have, so I let you go.”
“Magnolia…”
I threw my hands up. “And I’m letting you go again.
I can’t do this anymore. I’ll call Dane and have him shred the paperwork and dissolve the partnership.
You know you want to get back to Nashville and pick up where you left off.
Janelle is miserable here anyway. I won’t let you stay behind because you feel sorry for me. ”
He let out a long sigh followed by a sarcastic, annoyed laugh. “You think I feel sorry for you? That’s why I’m doing this?”
I could barely look at him. The shame, fear, and confusion of the decisions I’d made over the last few years and months were swelling in my chest. “Yes,” I whispered.
He crossed the bar in seconds and placed a hand on my shoulder, lifting my chin with the other until our eyes met.
“You’ve got it all wrong, baby. I’m here because I believe in you.
I’ve read the business plan. I’ve seen your vision for this place.
It will be the best goddamn bar in Savannah, and I want to see it come alive.
I want to help you. I want to be here for you, with you, while you do this.
” He pulled me against his chest and ran his hands through my hair.
Cupping my face, he met my gaze again, pulling me close as I fought to look away.
“I do want to pick up where I left off, you’re right about that, but not where I left off in Nashville. That book has ended.”
A tear slipped down my cheek.
“I don’t think our story is quite finished yet,” he whispered in a low, hoarse voice. “If I had to take a wild guess, we have a few more chapters left in us.”
I let myself melt into his embrace letting quick, fat tears fall down my cheeks and onto his shirt.
He held me close for what felt like an eternity before he finally asked, “Do you really love him? Do you honestly think you have a forever with him?”
“It’s… different, but I do care deeply for him. As far as forever, how can anyone know?”
“Oh, believe me, Maggie. When you want forever with someone, you know.”
“What makes you say that? You’ve had relationships that have been tailor-made by your label. Nothing is real in your world.”
“Because I’ve loved you from the second I laid eyes on you, and from that moment on, I’ve wanted forever with you. That’s how I know.”