Chapter 37
Chapter thirty-seven
MAGNOLIA
“Where the hell is he?” I paced restlessly in my office, then wandered into the green room and dramatically flopped down onto the couch.
Sutton opened the door to the bar, revealing a hunched-over Kasey, her ear pressed to the now-empty space. She jerked back, eyes wide with panic, and attempted to play it cool, though it was obvious she was spying.
Kasey took one look at me draped across the sofa and turned her attention to Sutton. “Is she okay? There’s, like, a million people out there asking questions.” She shut the door behind her and leaned back on the cool wood.
“Ryan’s doing a great job. I don’t see the problem.” Sutton shrugged.
“I’m fine,” I answered for myself, flinging an arm over my face. “I guess I just don’t get it. He wants to buy the bar, then he wants to be a silent partner. He wants to do these gigs to make us money, then he doesn’t show up. And where the hell is Dane?”
“He’s not here yet, but I saved him a spot with Charlie and Eunice,” Kasey answered quickly. “Should I just shut it all down? I really don’t know what to do. The three new hires are freaking out. Magnolia, can you please come out and see everyone?”
I shot Sutton a desperate frown as a wave of sad realization washed over me. “It’s over, isn’t it?”
“It’s been over, Magnolia. Go out and do what you need to do,” she answered, topping off my bubbles.
I lifted myself off the couch and took a swig of my champagne, glaring at Kasey. “Just go out and train. You’re going to be the manager of the bar soon, so please step up,” I snapped.
She made an agitated noise and threw open the door, stomping out toward the front of the bar. Her voice was laced with anger as she addressed the new employees, who looked stressed and nervous about their first official shifts.
“Just let things be how they are, Magnolia,” Sutton murmured, crossing the room to stand beside me. “If Lee isn’t coming back, he’s a silent partner. Just like y’all discussed. Isn’t this what you wanted all along?”
I nodded. It was what he agreed on. But where did that leave me?
Maybe I always knew, deep down, that he’d go back to Nashville someday. Maybe I always knew that he’d just throw some money at me—an investment, he once called it—so he could go back to strumming his stupid guitar, just like he always wanted.
And I’d still be here, in Savannah, behind the bar and carrying on my family’s legacy, just like I always wanted.
Nothing—and yet somehow everything—had changed.
I skulked out of my office but threw my shoulders back and slapped on a fake smile when Eunice caught my eye from across the room. A slight frown settled on her face, almost like she could read between the lines of my body language and knew something was wrong. Charlie pulled a chair out for me.
“I thought I’d see my son here tonight.” Eunice planted a kiss on my cheek as I sank down in the chair next to her. My brother shot me a sympathetic smile and pulled out another chair for Sutton, who was following behind me to join us.
“I think he’s on his way.” I lifted my arm to check my watch. “He must have gotten caught up at the office with Vance.”
“I meant Leland.” Eunice gestured to the stage. “I thought I’d get to say goodbye.”
“You and me both, Eunice,” I retorted.
We made pleasant talk with one another and folks that had stopped by the table to say hello and to inquire on the whereabouts of Savannah’s favorite country singer. Every time someone asked me how the wedding plans were going, I felt like I was going to throw up.
Sutton, not helping the situation as usual, kept topping off my champagne.
“Stop watching the door,” Charlie finally said, an icy tone lacing his voice. “He’s not coming.”
“Who, exactly, isn’t coming?” Sutton slurred, then hiccuped. “Looks like she’s getting stood up by both Wilder men.”
I rolled my eyes. Eunice politely excused herself, flitting over to hold court at the table full of Daughters of Savannah Civic Society. She looked over her shoulder, brow twisting with concern, and a worried expression settled on her face.
“You’re an ass, Sutton,” Charlie spat when Eunice was out of earshot. “She feels bad enough. It’s written all over her face. Look at her. She looks positively bedraggled.”
Great, Charlie was drunk, too.
Ryan finished serenading the room, and I took the opportunity to slide into my office to find some peace. I checked the clock, and it was rounding toward midnight and a new year.
The year I was going to become Mrs. Dane Wilder.
My stomach flipped in that familiar, nerve-wracking way, and my heart dropped.
What was I doing?
Was this going to be my life now? Perpetually torn between two worlds—one where I waited for Dane to emerge from his law office, only joining me for special occasions, or the other, where I’d always be watching, waiting, forever gazing at that door, hoping it was Lee that walked through it.
This was the reality of it all now, though. I had made my choice, and it was time to live with it, no matter how much my heart was shattering into a thousand tiny pieces.
“Five minutes until the countdown!” one of the new bartenders called out. “Y’all come up and get your glasses filled!”
I stepped out of my office and leaned against the doorframe, watching the bar erupt in excitement as the crowd gathered together to start the countdown.
The buzz of anticipation, the eagerness in the room, only strengthened the weight I felt on my shoulders.
Loneliness crept into my bones, and I felt a heavy sadness as I took in the scene.
But yet, as the clock ticked closer to midnight, a flicker of hope sparked within me. Despite the weight of my solitude, there was the promise of new beginnings and the chance for a fresh start in the coming year.
On the surface, I had everything I wanted. The bar was packed, and money was coming in. I toyed with the huge ring on my finger, remembering that I’d soon be marrying into a family that loved me. I had the greatest, most supportive friends in the world.
And that was enough for me to be happy, wasn’t it?
The crowd began to swell, energy bubbling through the room. I felt a knot of anxiety tightening in my chest, a gripping, sudden panic where there was once a spark of belief that maybe I did have it all.
Charlie and Sutton sauntered toward me, holding each other up and smiling ear-to-ear, like one should be doing when the promise of new beginnings was on the horizon and you were surrounded by everyone you love.
That ball dropping and the finality of it all, that this year, full of laughter, love, tears, and reverie with someone I cared about so much was coming to an end. And it was over. For good this time.
And somehow, that single realization completely overshadowed any trace of faith I had in this new chapter.
“Will y’all excuse me for just a second? I forgot to feed the cat.” I shot Sutton a look, silently begging her not to follow me, before bounding up the stairs to my apartment.
I collapsed to my knees in the kitchen, a raw sob escaping me as I tried to stifle the sound. Downstairs, the countdown to the New Year had begun, their voices brimming with anticipation and excitement, completely unaware of the breakdown unfolding above.
I could hear the optimism beaming through the floorboards, a promise of better days ahead, even if it lasted only sixty seconds as the ball made its slow descent toward midnight.
And there I was, alone, with those very same promises of better, brighter days ahead of me, too.
And yet, I’d never felt more trapped in the past.
After midnight, I could hear the quiet lull of the bar as it cleared out, and Sutton stumbled her way upstairs to say goodnight. I was on the couch with Pickle, watching the aftermath of New Year’s Eve in Times Square. Litter, lingering couples, and smiling faces peppered the screen.
“Are you sure everything’s okay?” She sat down on the loveseat across from me, pouting sympathetically.
“I’m sure. It would have been nice to kiss my fiancé happy New Year, though,” I lied.
“He just walked in. Kasey’s showing the newbies how to close the register, and there’s a few of them cleaning up. I’m sure he’ll make his way up here soon.”
I nodded, playing with the hem of my dress.
Sutton sighed and stood on her long, lean legs. She reached forward and kissed me on the top of my head. “Happy New Year, Magnolia.”
“Happy New Year, Sutton.”
I nodded off on the couch at some point, watching the city workers in New York scramble to get the square back in one piece before the morning sun rose. I could feel the stillness of the bar below me, and I sat up to check the clock—2:00 a.m.
“I should go check on things down there, huh?” I scratched Pickle’s head, and she purred loudly, scrunching herself up tighter in her little calico ball.
The smell of cigar smoke smacked me in the face as I made my way down the stairs. As I got closer, I could hear soft music and murmuring coming from the green room.
Slowly, I opened the door to the bar from the back hallway and slipped into the barroom. I tiptoed through the sea of empty cups, bottles, napkins, and stubbed out cigarette butts that littered the floor.
I thought Kasey had the new team cleaning up?
From the other side of the green room door, I heard her voice and that telltale shrill giggle of hers followed by a deep moan and a groggy response from a man.
So, instead of cleaning up, she was getting lucky in my green room. I thought about running back up the stairs and firing her in the morning, but my gut told me to kick in the door and call her out on her shit right then and there.
When I opened the door, the sound that came out of my mouth was almost guttural, animal like. I hurled myself forward and grabbed Kasey by the back of her head, flinging her away from the couch and onto the floor from the kneeling position I found her in.