Chapter 10
POV: AMBER
The kiss hits me like a storm.
For a second I forget how to breathe.
His mouth is warm and desperate against mine, years of silence breaking open between us. My hands clutch the front of his shirt instinctively, holding on like the ground beneath me has suddenly vanished.
Xander exhales against my lips, a sound that’s half relief, half disbelief.
And then he deepens the kiss.
The world disappears.
There’s only the taste of him, the familiar pressure of his hands sliding to my waist like he remembers exactly where they belong. My body responds before my mind can catch up, leaning into him, rising onto my toes.
God.
It feels the same.
It feels like coming home.
His fingers tighten slightly in my hair, tilting my head just enough that the kiss becomes slower, deeper, as if he’s rediscovering me piece by piece.
A soft sound escapes my throat before I can stop it.
The moment breaks.
We both freeze.
Our lips are still barely touching, breaths tangled, foreheads pressed together.
For a heartbeat neither of us moves.
Then we pull back just enough to look at each other.
His green eyes are dark, stunned.
“What are we doing?” I whisper, my voice shaking.
His chest rises and falls heavily.
“I don’t know,” he admits.
And somehow that makes it worse.
Because the truth is written all over his face.
My fingers are still gripping his shirt.
His hands are still holding my waist.
Neither of us has stepped away.
“You broke my heart,” I say softly, like the reminder might bring us back to reality.
Pain flashes across his face.
“I know.”
The honesty of it hits harder than any excuse.
For a moment we just stare at each other, the years between us hanging in the air.
Then his thumb brushes lightly against my waist, almost unconsciously.
The touch sends a spark through my entire body.
My breath hitches.
His gaze drops to my mouth.
A dangerous silence falls.
“This is a terrible idea,” I murmur.
“Probably.”
“You’re still the man who destroyed me.”
His jaw tightens. “I know.”
“And yet,” I whisper, barely breathing now, “you’re still looking at me like that.”
His voice drops.
“Because I’ve wanted to kiss you again for ten years.”
The words snap the fragile restraint holding us apart.
This time when our mouths meet again it isn’t shock.
It’s choice.
My hands slide up to the back of his neck as he pulls me closer, his arms wrapping around me like he’s afraid the world might steal me away again.
The kiss is slower now, but somehow even more intense.
Not just passion.
Memory.
Regret.
Everything we never stopped feeling.
When we finally break apart again, we’re both breathing hard.
My forehead rests against his chest now, my hands still tangled in his shirt.
For a moment neither of us speaks.
Then the reality creeps back in.
“This changes everything,” I whisper.
Above me, his heart is pounding just as hard as mine.
“Yeah,” he murmurs.
But his arms don’t loosen.
And neither of us moves away.
The silence stretches, thick with everything we just unleashed.
Then suddenly he exhales, dragging a hand through his hair like he’s trying to pull himself together and failing miserably.
“Come with me.”
I blink. “Where?”
A slow, crooked smile pulls at the corner of his mouth — the same dangerous smile that used to get me into trouble when we were teenagers.
“I have about twelve years of restraint to compensate for,” he says.
My breath catches.
“Xander…”
“I’m serious,” he adds, softer now. “If we stay standing here pretending we can be rational adults after that kiss, we’re both lying.”
My heart pounds.
“You’re impossible.”
“And you’re still here,” he points out.
Damn him.
Damn the way he knows me.
I cross my arms, trying to look unimpressed even though my pulse is racing. “And where exactly are you planning to take me?”
He nods toward the path leading back toward the hotel.
“My room.”
The words send a dangerous warmth down my spine.
“You’re very confident,” I say.
His gaze drops briefly to my mouth again.
“No,” he replies quietly. “Just honest.”
The air between us crackles.
For a moment I should say no.
I should walk away.
I should remember every broken piece of my heart.
Instead, I hear myself ask, “And tomorrow?”
Something flickers across his face.
“Tomorrow we deal with reality,” he says.
His hand reaches for mine.
“Tonight,” he murmurs, “we stop pretending we don’t still belong to each other.”
My chest tightens.
This is reckless.
This is probably a terrible idea.
But when his fingers lace through mine, I don’t pull away.
And somehow, a few minutes later, we’re walking toward the hotel together like gravity itself is pulling us there.
I was still coming down from the high when Xander shifted above me.
His body rolled over mine, warm and solid, and for a moment I just stayed there, wrapped in him, wrapped in the quiet weight of his presence.
I had forgotten how safe I felt with him.
How natural it was to be this close.
His forehead brushed mine as he breathed slowly, like he was trying to steady himself.
My hands slid over his back without thinking, feeling the strength in his shoulders, the warmth of his skin.
For a moment we just looked at each other.
Years apart, and somehow this still felt familiar.
Still felt like us.
“Amber…” he murmured softly.
There was something vulnerable in the way he said my name.
Something almost disbelieving.
Like he still couldn’t quite believe I was really there.
I reached up, brushing my fingers through his hair.
“You’re staring,” I whispered.
A faint smile touched his mouth.
“I’m making sure you’re real.”
His hand slid along my thigh, slow and deliberate, and I felt the tension in him again.
He exhaled slowly, closing his eyes for a second as if trying to gather himself.
“God,” he murmured under his breath.
My fingers tightened slightly against his shoulder.
“What?”
His gaze returned to mine, darker now.
“I’ve imagined this moment more times than I want to admit.”
The honesty in his voice sent a quiet shiver through me.
My hand moved over his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath my palm.
“And now?” I asked softly.
His breath caught.
“Now I don’t want to rush it.”
The words were low, almost rough.
He shifted slightly, pulling me closer, one arm sliding beneath my back as the other steadied at my hip.
“Look at me,” he said quietly.
I did.
The intensity in his eyes made my chest tighten.
“This time,” he murmured, “I’m not running.”
My throat tightened at that.
His movements grew slower, more deliberate, his focus entirely on me as if nothing else in the world existed in that moment.
I was wrapped in his warmth, and I had forgotten how safe I felt around him. With him. His presence had always felt like home.
I felt his hard length against my thigh, and it was instinctual for me to reach down and wrap my hand around it. I watched him close his eyes, like he was absorbing the sensation.
And I had almost forgotten how big he was.
I stroked him once… twice… slowly, and it was him who groaned softly.
“Please,” he murmured, his voice rough. “I need to be inside you.”
My breath caught.
He positioned himself at my entrance and pushed in.
One perfect, deep thrust.
My mouth opened in a soundless gasp as the sensation rushed through me.
I felt full. Completely full.
Like this was the most perfect feeling I had ever known.
For a moment he just stayed there, buried inside me, his eyes locked on mine.
And what I saw in his gaze was more than desire.
It was surrender.
Surrender to us.
Finally again.
After all this time apart.
It felt like nothing had changed.
Like everything between us was still the same… in the best possible way.
Then he began to move.
Slowly at first.
His body finding a rhythm with mine like it had never forgotten how.
He slid one hand down my leg and lifted it slightly, adjusting my position, searching for the perfect angle.
When he found it, the next thrust made my entire body arch beneath him.
A broken sound escaped my lips.
He noticed immediately.
A quiet smile flickered across his lips.
“There it is,” he murmured.
My fingers tightened against his back as the tension inside me began to build again.
His eyes darkened immediately.
“Just like that,” he whispered, his voice rough with satisfaction.
I felt my body respond instantly.