Chapter Eleven
JAX
When I arrive at the hospital, I find Tommy outside Lily’s room, eyes downcastas he leans back against the wall. He looks up at the sound of my approach, his tired eyes finding mine.
“Boss,” he says.
“Tommy, is everything all right?” I ask, nodding towards Lily’s closed door.
“Depends on your definition of ‘all right’… Avery’s here, and she’s pissed.”
I run my hand through my hair. “Shit.”
“Yep, you can say that again. What happened to you?” His eyes scan the blossoming bruise on my jaw and split lip.
“River,” I reply.
He nods in response. “Figures.”
“I need to speak to Lily about you and her going to a safe house.” He raises an eyebrow, waiting for me to explain. I glance up and down the hall, lowering my voice. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to return to the house. Elliot is speaking to Caleb and Noah about an option for a safe house.”
He licks his lips. “Who else is coming with us?”
“Just you two, for now. I want the rest of us to chase the lead to get the location on Mia, and then we can go from there and take appropriate action.”
He scrubs his palm over his stubbled jaw, his eyelids heavy.
“You really do need to get yourself back to the house. Eat, shower and sleep, Thomas.”
None of us will be any good for Lily if we continue to neglect looking after ourselves. I need to do better and lead by example.
His lips rise into a slight smile. “Is that an order, Boss?”
“If it’s the only way you’ll listen, then yeah.”
A retort forms on his lips, but it’s cut short when the door opens, and Avery’s frame fills the threshold.
Any surprise by seeing me standing beside Tommy quickly morphs into anger.
The door has barely clicked closed behind her when she squares her shoulders, hands on her hips, narrowing her gaze on me.
“I can’t believe this,” she snaps, her voice trembling with a mix of fury and emotion. “You were supposed to protect her, Jax. There were four of you, for crying out loud, and yet Lily’s in the hospital because you didn’t do your job!” she whispers, but it doesn’t make her words any less potent.
Her eyes dart between Tommy and me, each of us standing awkwardly under the weight of her accusations, which, unfortunately, are true.
“Avery,” I start, my voice soft but firm, “we fucked up. We know this, but we’re doing everything possible to find Richard. I promise he won’t get away with this.”
She shakes her head, taking a step closer, her eyes blazing. “Forgive me for having trouble believing you when Lily, my best friend, who is more like a sister to me, islying injured in a hospital bed. All becauseyou failed to protecther. And to make matters worse, that sick bastard has Mia. ”
She pokes me in the chest, hard. “How can I trust any of you to keep her safe now?”
Avery might as well have punched through my chest cavity and stabbed me directly in the heart. Because no matter how much I apologise, nothing will make up for that, but I refuse to allow any more harm to come to her.
Her words hang heavy in the air. I take a deep breath, trying to find the right words, but I don’t think I have any.
“She’s a sitting duck in there. Richard attacked her in her own home, for fuck’s sake,” Avery says, her lips trembling, and the tears she’s attempted to keep at bay finally fall. She swipes at them angrily.
“I promise you, we will keep her safe. Lily will not be left alone, not until we find him and get Mia back. One of us will be with her around the clock. But we need to be smart about this, Avery. We can’t afford to fuck it up.”
She shakes her head, some of her anger dissipating. “I can’t believe I never realised he’d hurt her, manipulated her. I feel so guilty,” she chokes out.
My guilt marries hers, and before I can think better of it, I pull her into my chest, and she wraps her arms around my back.
“I know. We do, too,” I admit. I glance over her head to Tommy who is watching us with the same remorseful expression. “We’ll look after her, I promise,” I say, knowing the words sound hollow given the current situation.
She pulls back and sniffs, raising her chin. “You’d better, Jackson. Because if anything else happens to Lily—or Mia—I will castrate every one of you.”
I nod, not doubting her one little bit.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and sort my girl out some clothes and some toiletries. Is anyone at the house?”
Tommy steps forward. “I’m going back now, so I’ll let you in. I just want to go say bye to Lily.”
He steps around her and slips inside the room before Avery can respond.
“What’s going on with those two?” she asks me, her eyes on the door.
The question makes me uncomfortable, and I run my hand through my hair. “What do you mean?” I ask, feigning ignorance.
She turns back to face me. “Well, there’s obviously something going on. Come on, he’s hot, she’s hot…”
I grab the back of my neck.
“Wait, what am I missing?” She narrows her eyes at me.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She scoffs. “Yes, you do. It’s fine. I’ll just ask Lily when I get back.”
“Yeah, you do that.”
“Oh, believe me, I will.”
Tommy pulls the door open, and I sigh in relief at his re-appearance.
“Remember what I said.” I give him a stern expression.
“Yes, Boss.”
“And message me when you get back to the house.”
He gives a mock salute as Avery looks between us suspiciously.
“After you,” he says to Avery, waving his hand before him.
Avery points at me. “Look after her, Jackson.” She straightens, her head held high, before turning on her heels to walk away.
I stare after her, the weight of my failures pressing down even harder.
Tommy squeezes my shoulder once, and then, without a word, he follows after her.
I take a deep breath and rap my knuckles on the door before entering .
Lily is lying in bed, propped up by pillows, eyes cast down, deep in thought.
“Duchess,” I say, but my voice is strained.
Her eyes dart to mine, her mouth opening and closing as I stand there for what feels like an eternity, frozen, unsure of myself.
“Jackson,” she breathes, blinking rapidly to try and fight back tears. It’s all it takes to regain my senses, and then I move towards her bed. Her arms reach out for me, and I lean down to pull her into my arms. “He has her,” she says against my chest, her voice muffled.
“I know, Duchess, but we’ll find him. I promise.”
Eventually, she pulls back, eyes scanning my face. She gasps, her palm moving to cup my jaw, the pad of her thumb softly caressing my bottom lip.
“What happened?”
I shake my head and cover her hand with mine, gently tugging it away.
“Nothing, don’t you worry about me, I’m fine,” I reply, dropping into the chair beside her bed, keeping her hand in mine. “How are you feeling?” I cringe at the question.
“I’ve been better,” she replies softly. “Ready to get out of here, if I’m being honest.”
“Shit, I’m sorry, that was a ridiculous question. You’re set to be discharged tomorrow. It’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Okay.”
I keep her hand in mine, desperately needing that connection, even though it’s the least I deserve.
“Listen, I’d understand if you didn’t want anything to do with me, especially after... everything.”
She frowns, causing her forehead to crinkle. “What are you talking about? Do you regret it? Is that it?”
“Yes and no,” I admit. I feel the tug of her hand as her cheeks heat, but I refuse to let go .
“God, Lily, no, not like that, fuck, that’s not what I meant.”
“Then explain,” she says.
“I was an arsehole. Me coming to your room the way I did. Using the guys and whatever was going on between you as an excuse. Thinking that if I gave into my craving for you, my feelings towards you would decrease.”
She frowns at my response. “And how did that work out for you?”
I almost want to laugh at her question, but it’s fruitless. “Other than the fact I was seriously deluding myself, you mean?”
“Yes.”
“All it did was show me that one time with you would never be enough,” I confess.
“So, what did you mean a moment ago?”
I shake my head in a poor attempt to clear my thoughts. “That you deserved better than me.”
She sighs and squeezes my other hand hard as if to anchor me or herself, but I’m not even sure. “I already told you. I wanted to. I don’t regret it, Jackson. You gave me what I needed, what I asked for. It would have been worse if you’d rejected me.”
I scoff at that. “Even with the greatest will in the world, I’d never be able to deny you, Duchess. Even if it was for the best. I wish I could tell you otherwise. But I’m a selfish bastard when it comes to you and doing what’s right.” I reach out and tuck some loose hair behind her ear, my anger spiking when I see the stitches to her temple. “Because if I was a better man, I would have stayed away. I’ve already failed you twice. You should be telling me to fuck off, requesting someone else to take over. God only knows it would be the right thing to do.”
Lily sits up straighter at my confession, wincing slightly, but I refuse to comment. She’s one of the strongest people I know, and I don’t want to make her feel weak .
“No, it wouldn’t. I wasn’t transparent about Richard.” She swallows hard after saying his name. “And that’s on me. I just never expected he would do this.” She pauses, waving her hand towards herself. “And the thing with George... I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. Richard’s insistence I invite him and have him seated at my table. Then George said how Richard told him I was a good girl.” She visibly shivers in disgust at the term, unlike when I said as much when I had her on her knees for me. All this is doing is adding to my need for vengeance. “I don’t know why he’d have said something like that in the first place, unless it was premeditated.” Her fingers gently brush against her forehead as she closes her eyes in frustration.
I tug on her wrist and rub my thumb over the back of her hand.
“Try not to over think any of this right now, Lily. You just need to recover… it’s why when you’re discharged, I think it would be for the best if you go to a safe house.”