Chapter Sixteen
RIVER
As soon as we arrive back at our building, we head straight for Jax’s flat without even consciously deciding to. The familiar scent of spice and soft music greet us as soon as we enter.
“Everything okay?” Elliot asks as soon as we’re through the threshold, his voice low but filled with concern.
Jax looks up from the stove, his brow furrowing slightly. “Would you keep your voice down? She’s sleeping,” he replies, his tone a mix of annoyance and protectiveness.
“Pretty sure Elliot’s volume level just matched yours,” I toss back.
Jax flips me the bird and goes back to stirring whatever’s in the saucepan, the rich aroma filling the room.
“What you got cooking?—”
“I swear to God, if you start singing, I’ll pay you back for that hit to my jaw the other day,”Jax warns, pointing a wooden spoon at me.
Rolling my eyes, I can’t resist the temptation. I break out into song, my voice echoing off the walls.
Jax just shakes his head, a small smile curving his lips.“Hank Williams, you are not. Don’t give up the day job, mate,” he says, amusement in his eyes.
“Hank, who?”Tommy asks from the sofa, his head in a book.
I sigh and throw myself down beside him. “An American songwriter,”I reply, my arm going over the back of the sofa. Tommy tenses before he relaxes again, the subtle shift not lost on me.
It’s why seeing him with Lily is such an oxymoron. The way she seems to be able to get close to him, he still clams up, but he’s different with her—better. She’s good for him, for us. The thought brings a weird mixture of relief and maybe a little envy, stirring some of the darker emotions I’m struggling to keep at bay. I want to riot so bad, find Richard and pull out his teeth one by fucking one.
“What are you reading?”I ask instead, snatching the book from Tommy and looking at the cover.
“I was reading Dracula.”He snatches the book back, a flicker of irritation crossing his face.
I stand, feeling the restless energy building. “I’m going to check on Lily.”
“Don’t wake her if she’s still sleeping,”Jax says, his voice softening slightly.
I salute him, refraining from rolling my eyes. “Yes, boss.”
Outside the door, I slip off my boots and quietly enter the room, the small bedside light casting a warm glow in the corner. The air in here is calmer somehow. I sigh, glad she’s out of the hospital,
“Hi,”Lily whispers, her voice barely audible.
“Hey, yourself. How are you feeling?”I ask, immediately regretting the repetitive question.
I hold up my palm. “Don’t answer that.”Moving to the edge of the bed, I sit and reach out, bringing my fingertips to her cheek. Her eyes squeeze closed, followed by an audible hitch in her breathing.
“Shit, sorry, “I pull my hand back, but she reaches out and takes it in hers.
“No, it’s not you, it’s me. I just feel jumpy... I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. You’ve been through a lot. It’s hardly surprising you’re cautious of physical contact,”I say softly, my thumb brushing over her satin-soft knuckles.
She falls silent as I sit, holding her hand until she finally speaks.
“What’s that smell?”she asks, her nose scrunching in an adorable way as she sniffs the air.
I smile. “That back there is Jax in his natural habitat. He’s cooking.”
Lily’s brow raises. “He cooks?”
I nod. “Yeah, he does, and he’s actually not too bad at it either.”
Her stomach grumbles, and I let out a soft chuckle. “Hungry?”
“It does smell good,”she replies. “I’m not sure if I could manage much, but I am a little hungry,”she admits.
I let go of her hand and stand. “I’ll go get him to dish you up a plate. I’ll bring you a tray.”
She shakes her head slightly and slowly moves to sit up. “No, I’ll come out. Is everyone else still here?”
I nod. “Yeah, we wanted to be where you are.”
Her lips form a shy smile as she clears her throat and averts her eyes. “I just need to use the bathroom,”she says, lowering her feet to the plush carpet before standing. I wait just in case she needs me, but she seems steady enough.
“I’ll give you a minute. Just come out when you’re ready.”
I lean down and kiss the top of her head before turning and leaving, pulling the door closed behind me.
“She asleep?”Elliot asks, continuing to set the table.
I shake my head. “No.”
Jax whips me with the end of a tea towel. “Are you surprised? The noise of your awful singing probably woke her.”
“Ha fucking ha. Says the man who literally can’t carry a note. She’s going to come have dinner with us,”I state.
“You say us like you were invited,”he throws back at me.
I flip him the bird and grab some more cutlery from the drawer to set another place at the table for Lily.
“How does she seem?”Tommy asks, coming over with a stack of glasses.
I shrug. “Honestly, I’m not sure... she’s scared...jittery.”Her reaction when I reached out to touch her was clearly a trauma response. “I think the safe house will be good for her.” Or I hope it will at least until we can get to the bottom of this and get Mia back to her safe and sound.
Before I could lose myself in my darker thoughts, the sound of the bedroom door opening, followed by soft footsteps, hits my ears. Lily steps into the living area, her face pale but determined. The room falls silent for a moment, everyone’s eyes on her.
“Hey,”she says softly, looking more fragile than ever. Her gaze darts around the open space, still on edge.
“Hey yourself,”I reply, trying to keep my voice light, attempting to break the obvious tension. “Ready for some of Jax’s infamous cooking?”
She nods, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I think I am.”
Everyone breaks into action, and Tommy pulls out a chair and signals her to sit. Elliot pulls out a stack of plates for Jax while I pour us all a glass of juice each.
It feels oddly domesticated, a sense of normalcy, however brief, settling over us—a small moment of reprieve amidst the chaos.
Lily is subdued and quiet as we try to keep the conversation light, maybe so we don’t have to deal with all the unknowns of what’s to come. Or because we’re all bearing the weight of our failures. Every time we look at her, we’re reminded of what we allowed to happen, what we could have lost. Unsurprisingly, Lily doesn’t say much, barely managing to eat. The exertion is almost too much, and she soon excuses herself from the table and returns to the confines of Jax’s guest room, we all fall silent at her retreating back.
Jax sighs, setting down his fork. “We need to figure this shit out, and fast.”
Elliot nods, his expression serious. “I’m still running diagnostics on Richard’s modem, but I’m closer to tracking his location.”
Jax leans back, rubbing his temples. “As soon as Tommy and Lily are secure at the safe house, we’ll do some more recon before the rest of us head to France. I want to get the jump on him. The closer we are to the source, the better.”
I clench my fists, my desire for vengeance bubbling up once more.
Jax pushes to his feet and begins clearing the table, his body tense. “I’ll talk to Lily. The last thing I want is her sitting in a car for hours, but her safety is our priority.”
I glance towards the guest room, my heart aching for her. “She’s stronger than she looks, but we need to remind her of that now more than ever.”
The room falls into a heavy silence, a dark cloud hanging over us. We can’t afford to fail her, not again, never again.
“Let’s get some rest,”Jax finally says, breaking the silence. “I want us to be ready for whatever comes next. Tommy, especially you. I need you on top form.”
We all nod in agreement and understanding, retreating to our respective flats.
The weather has taken a turn, the sound of rain pelting against the windows and the distant rumble of thunder, the weather only adding to my frustration. I spend over an hour pacing like a caged animal before I find myself back in Jax’s quiet and dark flat, my handprint deactivating the alarm and reactivating once I’m inside.
Slowly, I enter Lily’s room again, but I come up short this time. Sitting in the armchair in the corner of the room, watching her, is Jax.
If he’s surprised by my arrival, he doesn’t show it. I walk around the bed, so I’m on the opposite side, and stare down at her. Her face is pinched tight, her eyelids moving rapidly.
“She’s good to travel tomorrow. I spoke to her before I finally got her to take some pain meds. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep, but she’s restless,”he says in a whisper, but loud enough for me to hear him.
There’s a flash of lightning behind the curtain before the loud crash of thunder, causing Lily to startle, a whimper escaping her.
Jax leans forward in his chair.“It’s just a storm, Duchess,”he says softly.
I sit on the edge of the bed and reach for her other hand.“We’re here, you’re safe.”
“Please, don’t leave me,”she whispers, her voice trembling, her words a plea. “Stay.”
Without a word, I pull back the covers, slip in beside her, and gently pull her body closer to mine.
“Sleep, I’ll watch over you,”Jax says, still holding her hand.
“I’ll stay until she’s settled,”I whisper, our breaths slowly syncing.
“Stay as long as you want, Riv. I know you need her as much as she needs you.”